Know before you know yourself
Want to know who you ARE?
Discover your own limits. In fact, Life is constantly pushing those limits. We struggle to keep them unchanged. We name that fight with pretty labels as if that was something “special.” We want to dominate Life, as if it was separated from us. Those limits make us who we ARE. Once the boundaries are gone, who could we BE?
But we aim for a respectable label, an accolade coming from others to identify ourselves.
We create a golden cage. We use another pretty label to make that experience into something desirable. We call that “security,” but Life has no security, although we may convince ourselves that there is.
“Security” is an invention of the mind. A mirage that becomes “real” through our own fear.
That longing or disturbance of the mind for security, creates our own saviors at the same time: God, money, the law, morality, nationality, philosophies, etc.
Ideas and beliefs confine us all the time.
If I say: “There is nothing that could be called truth.” That is an idea.
A smart one will reply: “Isn’t that statement, a truth?” That is another idea to dispute the first one.
I’d reply “No. But surely it looks like.”
What is the gist of this “idealistic” conversation? Nothing with substance.
How can I express the flow of Life with static, dualistic language? I will have to use more words to explain and support other words, but explanations will be always short.
Language could allow me to express in one direction, the positive pole OR the negative pole. But Life has the positive and negative poles, together. It is the perception of our minds based on centuries of conditioning, the one allowing us to see only one side of things.
Language is truly a limitation, but we depend on it and because of that, we trust it as the carrier of “truth,” “reality,” “security.”
Security that we “know.” Another mental ideal.
But, we don’t know anything.
– Is that affirmation the “truth”?
No. But surely it looks like.
Enjoying the thought
Let us say that John is having a deeply “spiritual” moment with his wife Teresa. He is having sex with her.
During that time of enjoyment, his mind starts to send/catch thoughts.
John’s mind has a thought of a man that he saw before. He was a well built, good looking man in John’s view.
That thought, threw John off completely from the sexual experience with his wife. John was very concerned about “that” incident.
John labeled the thought as being “homosexual.” He even freaked out by the thought that he could have “homosexual tendencies”. From that point on, John created his own hell.
No? It never happened to you?
It may. 🙂
The understanding of the experience explained above, could send light into the meaning of mature/aware “spirituality”.
Observe how the thought appeared. John thought that he actually created the thought. Great awareness, John!
This thought created a sense of guilt, lack of comfort.
It is not “right” to think that. John sees himself as “straight” (another label to create duality).
There is a rejection about the idea of homosexuality. This idea brings all the taboos, hang ups, beliefs, conditionings in John.
Observe that the sacred moment of John’s enjoyment with his wife, became a moment of disturbance. John was worried about this.
John wanted to “fix” this “problem” right away!
He had an inner conflict. He was ready to reject anything homosexual. He was ready to fight for his “cause” of being a “moral” man, that is; a “Godly man”. John was ready to defend his “righteousness”.
All of that, just to cover a rejected thought.
When we are living in the mind, a thought is everything.
Let us see Life from another perspective. In this perspective, thoughts do not matter at all. They are just the outcome of our conditioning.
In this perspective, what matters is the feeling. Thoughts could arrive, they could be weird, but they are welcome.
Do you want to resist? Do you want to put the mental conditioning up front?
That will be our tendency.
Let that go. The feeling is all that matters.
Have you ever wondered if the thought about a man, while having sex with your wife will make you into homosexual?
Apparently John believed so. His mental hell was in motion.
Observe how words, labels, ideas will make Life into a “problem”.
Observe how enjoyment becomes an ideal when the moment is not accepted, acknowledged as it is. We want to “fix” our thoughts by covering those with another thought, a “good” thought, but deep inside we know that we are just covering things to align with our conditioning.
A thought will come back as long as we reject it. If it is not rejected, it just goes away. It came to you; it goes from you.
“Empty” of beliefs, mental baggage about what should be, that may be a mentally sound individual.
The feeling of enjoyment is purely a sensation. We will kill the moment by identifying with a thought.
Deconditioning from holy words
What is the value of collectively defining who we are?
Some definitions: Souls, Love, Spirits, bodies, nothing, everything, etc.
When we hear that we are “truly love,” what actually that means?
Nothing. However, we like to repeat that; we like to make it into a discussion, we like to create spiritual workshops, classes with such definitions.
Our minds maybe interested in information, in the latest discoveries of science in reference to our “true” nature, or in the latest religious belief; but until we abandon completely the things of the mind, there cannot be inner knowledge, there cannot be a starting point in self- realization.
Our society surrounds us with useless information in “spiritual topics,” away from the awareness of our presence. That information will foster our addiction of living Life through the mind.
I’d like to share that “spirituality” from my viewpoint is only related with living Life fully, that means, by being aware of the “now.”
Any information as to who “I am”, or what “should be”, or what “I will become”, it is completely and utterly useless. Any questioning requiring a verbal answer is only a step away from feeling Life in the now. When the mind is engaged through those questions, Living Life “now” becomes another idea, something away from the “now.”
There is a process in Life.
Many are trapped with their own minds. The process of “liberation,” may be equal to being born again. This is not something that we can DO, but rather it happens when it is our time, then all conditions will be present. It may not be something which we call “good” according to our conditioning, but the opportunity is right there.
Before that process, we probably indulged with many answers, many beliefs. Our minds became full of information about how to become enlightened or how to be near God, or any other mental goal to entertain us.
Those mental goals only replicate our previous conditioning, what we have learned through our experience with society.
I know this may be hard to swallow. There may be many “thinkers,” arguing about the value of “spiritual” information, the value of scientific research, etc.
However, what I am referring to is not “theory.” You must experience it to understand.
Unless you abandon all the definitions about yourself; there cannot be a space to observe the mind.
Without observing the mind, there is no chance of being AWARE of how much the mind interferes in our joy and in the experiences where letting go and surrendering to Life are needed.
Love, sex and death are such experiences. The mind will interfere with questions and answers in its need for control. Greater need for control means a great inability to surrender to the moment.
Most everyone admires children. That innocence, that ability to live in the “now,” that energy comes from no-mind. As the child is trained to worship words and ideas, to obey certain paragraphs, his Life becomes mental and from there, goals, achievements, purposes will drive their lives and take away their joy.
This does not mean that society corrupts the children. No. Society only provides with a Life under a different consciousness. The child will learn to call that consciousness “real,” the “real Life,” when in fact, it is only a perspective of it. 🙂
Digging deeply into ideals
Is education truly “education” or it is about “training”?
Is marriage a “sacred institution” or just convenience?
Is God for everyone or just for few, selected ones?
I could go on. Those ideals later become beliefs and those beliefs are mental walls to define ourselves, to make us static entities in a world of constant changes.
Whatever we believe to be, creates our purpose. Observe that ideals are just clouds without consistency, our “invention” created through conditioning.
That is why, to become aware of Life through a different perspective, we may need to dismantle that conditioning, starting from our sacred ideals, what we believe to be “right,” what we vote for, support and use to dress up our “I.”
That is an inner-revolution.
As we can see, Self-realization is not hidden in worshiping or in embracing a religious practice of beliefs. It is not about getting a Ph.D in psychology either.
Nothing to DO, nothing to accomplish. No goals, no purpose, no desire…. But this has no relationship with being a renunciate of the world, no!
It is the complete opposite! It is about inner fulfillment, to harmonize with the Totality, into what is.
We could be “complete” when we are One with everything.
If it sounds “magical” it is because language doesn’t allow me to express that there is no separation, but a mind made rejection separates. That awareness does not depend on something that “I” can DO to change things to fit “my” concept.
That awareness happens when there is no definition of ourselves to ourselves and others. You are comfortable with BEING without defining it.
Empty of “I.”
Another way to describe that “I” is in finding our self-defining words, what we “believe to be.”
Mind, ego, “I,” are intimately related with ideas, ideals, beliefs which in turn will bring emotions which will separate our mind, from our feelings. That is the inner layer of the onion, the core, the seed; from that “seed” other categories of duality are built such as: Body and soul, male and female, black and white, educated and ignorant, young and old, etc. Those separations come from the seed: Mind vs feelings. Ultimately the meaning of words do not separate, but the emotions that come out of it.
Because our mind is controlling our free BEING, we live in continuous imbalance: Ideals, beliefs, taboos, hang ups become “reality” but they are all in the conditioned mind.
Do we see that? 🙂
Freedom from the belief of labeling someone as God or the Devil
Consciousness allows someone to perceive things in a particular way. According to that consciousness, we could have a limited understanding. To see things under a different perspective means to have the openness to accept newness. Honesty means to acknowledge our new perception despite a belief, a teaching, and a dogma.
Fear arrives through dishonesty.
Ahnanda is not concerned about denying or proving the existence of God or the Devil. Ahnanda is only concerned about finding his own beliefs. Rest assured, that this sharing is based on my own experience.
I have searched for God. I have found God. I have forgotten myself.
I found myself, then I found no-self and with that I found that all there is… is God. Although, many labels could be used to name it.
Do you want me to elaborate on that? It is for you to find out. It will be misunderstood for those who have not gone through the full experience.
“God created the Universe.”
Didn’t he create the Devil as well?
“NO. God has given us free will to choose.”
Really? Why is the Devil “wrong” then, isn’t he following his free will?
“Because he is against God.”
Is it “free will” as long as we do not go against God? That is not free will but manipulation. Isn’t that a devilish trait?
God and the Devil depend on each other to survive.
Believers are needed.
“But, I had an experience with God himself. I felt floating in bliss and with such love that it had to be God giving me this experience. It cannot be the Devil.”
The issue is not the experience of something extraordinary in our lives. The issue is the label that we have used to describe that.
“That must be God.”
The concept, the definition is added into that experience and through that a belief.
Let me “rephrase” your consciousness:
“I am unique. God has chosen me. Someone else’s experience is not the “true” one for I know God and they don’t.”
The clothes of Santa Claus do not make the one wearing it, as the “true” Santa. You have to believe in Santa, for that concept to exist. We make that concept alive.
Different people wear the Santa Claus’s clothing. Common agreement makes that clothing “special.”
“Knowing God” is meant to enhance the ego of the one who claims that. In my experience, it truly doesn’t matter if you “know God.”
Know yourself to find no-self. That matters to you and to me. Not to God or the Devil.
“God did not create the Universe. Everything already existed. “
If God did not create the Universe, why do we call him God then?
“Because, he is the Supreme.”
Isn’t that a belief based on the concept that God has to be the supreme? Aren’t we building up concepts upon concepts to make an ideal?
Because we have 2 different explanations of God; Is it possible for God to create the Universe and not to create the Universe at the same time?
“Well… One belief is right and the other is wrong.”
I suppose yours is “right,” correct? At the end, it is about “you.”
Beliefs are neither right nor wrong. They are just beliefs.
Accept a belief and your perception will be in one way.
Do not accept it and your perception will be in a different way.
Acknowledge the belief and let it go, and your perception will be yet in a different way.
What difference does it make to know who created the Universe?
What difference does it make to have intellectual answers to believe in?
Lost in the intellect, the mind, we forget the heart. That heart which is not meant to love “God alone,” but to love without restrictions.
Truly want to know what love is?
It is inversely proportional to the size of the “I.” That is the extent of your love. Love is being it.
How do you like that “definition”? 🙂
“What is your relationship with God?”
Until I find no-self, there cannot possibly be a relationship. I can call God my father, my lover, my everything… Those are just labels, ideals based on “ME.” Find no-self and the perception will be different.
A change in consciousness is not related with beliefs and intellectual answers.
Those things are meant to change behavior only, to make us believe that “we are transforming ourselves.”
The self, the “I” cannot transform itself. Every action or thought directed towards self-transformation will only follow an ideal, a learned belief.
For change to be “real” it has to be natural. Not manipulated in any way through the beliefs of the “I.”
When we step outside the boundaries of a belief system meant to delimit our consciousness and to keep us safe within the limits of our society’s collective beliefs, at that point we can explore, we could observe and be an active participant of Life.
“But… If I step away from my belief of a God; who will save “me” and protect “me” and take care of “me” in this Life of uncertainties, and in “my” next Life in the future… Who will be there for “me”?
That is not the question that a grown up could ask before leaving his parents’ home to move in a place by himself. That is a question that a kid could ask. The kid looks for that certainty, he calls “protection.”
Who will be there for you?
Freedom from a belief, freedom from ideals, freedom to experience life.
To be free was the dream of the slave. The dream of the one who wanted to express but couldn’t, the dream of the one who wanted to live and not just breathe.
For the one who is caught up with beliefs and ideals, for the one who breathes fear in every inhalation and repression in every exhalation, for that one freedom is meaningful, holy and necessary to enjoy life.
Freedom from the known, is for the one who is ready. It is a waste for the one who is not.
The indoctrinated self
When we perceive that there is no “self,” then we could appreciate things from a different consciousness.
“No-Self” is not a belief. We have experienced that change throughout our lives. That which we think we are is merely a mental idea, which we cling to despite the evidence that our bodies, minds and consciousness are not the same.
If we want to possess an instant in our lives and have a picture in our minds of that individual who has been, then we will suffer in the attempt to stop the unstoppable.
We are never the same and to stop that through a belief becomes the obstacle to experience something different.
Our society is attached to this mental idea of self.
Psychology depends on it as well as religions.
It is the “self” who is punished, saved, rewarded, etc. It is the “self” wanting to exist unchanged despite change.
It is obvious then, that in the realization of no-self, the concept of “others” becomes antiquated.
Helping “others” is only an ego driven task at that point. Hard to swallow, when we have been indoctrinated otherwise.
Notice that this is not intellectual understanding. A Ph.D. is not required to understand this.
We need to experience it.
As mentioned before, consciousness changes by itself, so change is guaranteed as long as “we” allow it to naturally happen.
To be able to acknowledge that change, to embrace it without being attached to the “old” ways, is a “test” in our ability to empty our minds.
An empty mind has the capacity to understand new things. A mind full of information is an obstacle to perceive “newness.”
That mind full of information, can only understand if something “makes sense” according to its previous indoctrination/information/teaching/ belief.
That information which at one point was helpful to realize things, becomes the obstacle for newness later on.
Typically a “normal” person will go through life without having “realizations” about his own life or life in general.
For most people, it is about using their own experiences based on the location of the consciousness that they currently have. That is their “truth.”
Their life “catalog” is usually tinted with the colors of “bad,” “good” or “neutral” experiences and through them, there will be a reaction towards life.
That reaction becomes their actions and thus, because they come from a certain location of consciousness, the consequences of those actions are “limited.” They are unable to see the overall picture.
In which way are they limited?
My religion is the “true” one.
People who wear several rings in their hands are tacky.
Einstein is the greatest scientist in the world.
All of the above beliefs are limited in their scope because they come from the perception of a limited consciousness.
Generalizing something or segregating are two sides of the same coin originating from the same type of limited consciousness.
Please see that the above is not a religious thought. It is not a “dogma” or an “ism.”
It is just a realization coming from observing life through observing the self without being colored by defending a particular belief system or making life fit my belief system.
That is what I call being “honest.”
A realization typically impulses someone to perceive things in a different way. Those realizations are not intellectual reasons, but a perception, what is called an “Aha! moment“ which is driven by your intuition and supported by your feelings. There may not be a way to put those realizations into words, but it is not necessary unless you want to write those in a blog… 🙂
Depending on the integrity and self-confidence of the individual, then his actions will be according to those realizations. Nevertheless; a realization cannot be set up as the “ultimate truth.” It is evolving as our circumstances and consciousness changes. It has a timing and a purpose like everything in life.
That is what I call “openness.”
The above may not be for everyone. For it entails a life of discovery. There is nothing there to take as a dogmatic truth or as the “way things ought to be.”
It is far easier to accept something coming from someone else. Someone who we may see as “illuminated,” or “awakened.” We could just follow and relinquish our own life of discoveries.
Nevertheless, someone who is already awakened could see that not everyone is in the same conscious level and rather than proselytize to feel good about his own “truth” or ideas, that individual may want to allow for every person to discover according to their particular capacity.
That is what could be called a “spiritual teaching.”
A teacher in spirituality is not someone who necessarily has the gift of gabbing or someone who has lots of information in his brain. It is not about reciting a dogmatic view of the world either.
A teacher merely gives the environment for realizations to occur. A teacher does not give the “truth” but the initial soil for a new seed to grow into a tree.
That tree ultimately will need to feed itself through its own foliage, that is; those things which it left behind through realizations, will be the leaves falling around that tree in time, which paradoxically are the true source of nutrients for that tree to grow strong, beautiful and happy.