If Life brings lemons, and I dream about strawberries; how can I come at peace with my disappointment?
By forgetting yourself. Going beyond “you” and your problems, your unfulfilled mental dreams, your drama. “Others” exist in integration when we forget ourselves. Before that consciousness, “others” is only separation, a barrier. As Sartre said: “Hell is other people.” So …”Heaven” is only “you.”
Society will teach us to imitate somebody as a role model.
“He lived with lemons. Be like him.”
Imitation brings repression.
Repression is a form of dishonesty.
Every time Life brings what we desire easily; we learn that Life “works for us.” We learn to expect that. Ego increases.
When that which we desire does not appear despite our “efforts,” we become bitter, disappointed, angry, etc. Ego increases as well.
Therefore, whether we get what we desire or not, still ego will grow through our expectations. Growth of ego is part of Life, and paradoxically, that is its natural path for dissolution.
Forget yourself. That is the fast lane. You cannot drive there? Then continue with your expectations. Paradoxically, that is another way to forget yourself. That is the slow lane.
Anything that we desire, may come to fruition at a time when we least expect it.
When there is expectation, we cannot enjoy the experience of living Life as it IS, for our minds are always looking for something which does not exist. That is insane.
Life is unexpected.
“You should be like your brother, a good student, obedient and respectful…”
Parents may not realize it, but comparisons will leave deep scars in the “bad” son. Correcting is one thing, but comparing with another is only showing blunt rejection of a particular individuality. The “bad” son must imitate the “good” one to fit the standard. The unwilling separation (good/bad) made by the parent with his progeny, will bring further issues.
We have learned to imitate to gain acceptance. There is always a “model” to copy and to follow.
We experience consequences when acting. If we are AWARE we will learn from our own actions as well as other people’s activities. However; that does not happen very often, that is why a “role model” is important in our society. We just need to follow, imitate. That “authority” is the IDEAL, the standard. That person could be an athlete, a politician, a religious person… All IDEALS. Their behaviors in turn, must fit expectations of that IDEAL for them to continue as “role models.”
Therefore, imitation is the avenue for “success.” Our personality, our BEING may not fit the IDEAL, but our behavior must fit in. That creates hypocrisy, dishonesty. Our DOING is not the same as our BEING.
In the spiritual world, we have the image of Jesus (or some other realized being) to follow, even though we have never met him. There are expectations of what Jesus should have been like. There is this ideal of a “saint” which is painted in the minds of mainstream society. Society is interested in the IDEAL not in the person behind Jesus.
We are conditioned to imitate an IDEAL.
Tantra is sold to the masses as the IDEAL of blissful sex. What the masses shouldn’t know at all costs, is that sex is a personal experience. What is blissful for you, may not be for someone else. The IDEAL of “bliss” is sold, comparison arrives and a “problem” is created. Thus, someone should sell the “solution” or better yet, the IDEAL of a solution.
Do you know why the IDEAL of a solution is better than a complete “solution” itself?
The IDEAL continuously sells… we are always close to the full solution, but not quite yet. A “solution” once applied and proven cannot longer sell.
Imitation is based on an IDEAL. The IDEAL is something that cannot be reached. That is the appeal of it. The masses strive to get the IDEAL of a “saint,” a “holy man,” but it cannot be reached for the IDEAL is not “real.”
Nevertheless, for many imitators, there is no better “reality” than the IDEAL.
Living through IDEALS, we are unable to let go of the mind.
Living though IDEALS we believe in a world which only exists in our minds.
For instance, the word “Love.” It is an IDEAL. The use of that word in a speech could make us look “good,” “caring,” etc. Love thy neighbor, Love the world, Peace and Love, Love and Light… All pretty IDEALS.
What is “real” cannot be put into words, cannot be defined. Once we understand this deeply, we will not try to find meaning in the words that someone says, but we will go right into the feelings, we will feel someone and what we feel will not be put into words…. But we will know.
Then, Love may have a different meaning. 🙂