“When I observe myself I feel more comfortable when I cry a lot by recalling bad events happened to me in the past and present. Sometimes I feel like crying loudly. I don’t know what is happening inside. I live alone and always wanted to stay alone without any friends and family relatives. Also I am suffering from an inferiority complex over my physical appearance. Any solution?”
Thank you for your question.
The world of emotions is incredibly deep. Logic, reason and analysis are useless when dealing with emotions.
When you remember your past or current “bad” events, you mind is involved. It is like forcing someone to watch a sad movie for the heck of it. Many times we do that to ourselves. It is as if something is bothering our ego and the movie comes up to tell us what it “is.”
That is the rational mind. There is nothing there for us to look at for we can only interpret things, rationalize things and decide to act in one way or another to protect our ego.
Sit down comfortably. Put on some tranquil, peaceful music. Observe how the mind goes into a dream state by playing anther “movie.” We are dreaming although supposedly, awake. Music could be a trigger to release your emotions.
Cry all you want within the space of compassion. It is needed, necessary and good.
You don’t need to know what is happening inside. Remember, that need to “know” is the mind. What your being needs is to heal.
Healing emotions is a process. We cannot pick what we want to heal. “Today I want to heal my inferiority complex…here is the method.” No! It does not work like that. What you are able to release, will be released. It does not depend on you.
Emotions are unprocessed energy stuck in our beings.
In my experience, holistic healers could be of great help. Sound or hypnosis may work for you, but that is up to you to try. That depends on you. Life will offer the “solution” at the right time. See what is available for you at this time.
To live alone is beneficial in many aspects. However, when we use that lifestyle to protect ourselves, out of fear, or to fulfill some “spiritual” ideal; our Life could be hellish.
Physical appearance is important, but more important is the acceptance of yourself.
By all means, DO something to improve your physical appearance if possible, according to your means, your time and how bad you want it, while in that process acceptance of “you” as “you” becomes the most important item in your list.
This is not related on how others perceive you based on some collective conditioning, but in how you perceive yourself. Do you like yourself? Do you feel at ease with yourself?
You have identified an inferiority complex. Now is the time to act.
Allow for Life to show you different avenues. Keep an open mind. Your Life may change at any time.
Openness in all aspects is the key to understand spirituality beyond infantile ideas.
What is that openness?
If you feel like crying, then cry.
If you feel like living alone, then do it.
If you want to remember “bad” events, remember them.
If you want to physically compare yourself with others, then compare yourself.
Just be AWARE of their consequences and repercussions. Forget about judgments.
Note how much of that which is happening to us, we DO it to ourselves unknowingly, then ACCEPT that all of that can change at any time… for it will change.
For some this is the belief about “hope in the future”.
For me, this is just a fact of Life.
The very best to you! 🙂
Thank you for your challenging question.
I am concerned that you have considered suicide at one point in your life. I have dealt with a close friend of mine who had extreme depression and bi-polar moods swings. He had a “chemical imbalance,” thus, he needed to take medicine for life to deal with that. I had another friend who was very sensitive and “disembodied souls” were attacking her and almost “killing her” by changing her mood into extreme depression to the point of not being able to get up from her bed. Once these “spirits” were dispelled, she became alright.
The reason why I am sharing this is so you are aware that many times, it is not “us,” but there are other interactions that we need to be aware of. I urge you to find that in yourself.
Personally, I have found “folk medicine” from fortune tellers to “aura cleaners” of great help rather than going to a typical “pill doctor.” Some may not like this; nevertheless, I am sharing my experience.
Please look for alternatives to get well if you still have suicidal tendencies. This is your first priority.
As far as Raja yoga, any BK I know of has some “low self-esteem.” (inferiority complex.) It is easy to understand after going through so many births without finding that “fulfillment” which we knew from before. This is why BapDada typically will enhance our self-esteem through his “pep” talk, loving words and feelings at the beginning of every avyakt Murli.
It will take some time while you are a BK to make the transition, for we are used to receiving our self-respect through the “real world.” Please be patience and tolerant. It just takes time for realizations to appear that will change your life. My advice is this: Just keep following the Maryadas the best of your ability. Concentrate on yoga (articles shared here) and enjoy life by doing those activities which bring ‘fulfillment.’ For me, is to be surrounded by Nature. Exercise outdoors, singing happy tunes and surrounding myself with “supportive company.” Friends who would listen to you rather than trying to “fix” things for you. Listeners.
Self respect is a building process, through realizations as Baba describes in the Murlis, the realization of being a special soul with a special task. Find your own call in life, your own “niche.” Develop that specialty. That will give you SELF-RESPECT.
Last but no least, the more you concentrate on the welfare of others, the least you will think about you. The balance point is that “you” have to be well for others to receive that benefit.
All the best,