Tagged: inner child
Our emotions: The journey into Oneness
If all the intellectual stuff is meant just to add more questioning into our lives, without a “solution,” then where the “solution” may reside?
Beliefs? Whatever someone believes in may give that person “strength” to deal with many unforeseen experiences in life. Nevertheless, it is all about giving mental power or strength to that “I.”
Let us take a look at this popular quote:
“Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place and I don’t care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard ya hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done!”
― Sylvester Stallone, Rocky Balboa.
The above is how many “tough” people look at life. Don’t surrender, keep fighting… you will “win” eventually…
Ananda merely emphasizes that “being tough” in life brings that sour taste of misunderstanding. Life is not different than “you.” If life is going to be about how much hitting someone could take, just imagine… It is that “I” which needs to go away and that obviously will be misunderstood by those without the experience, by those who are used to “fighting with life,” by those who have not started their “seeking” journey.
When Rocky Balboa “toughens up” life; there is an inner child who will take tabs of all those punches. At that point, life becomes that “nasty place.” The inherent natural feeling of living life with joy, will transform itself into a traumatic experience which will be felt by our own body, our own self. That inner kid will look for protection.
Have you seen Rocky praying? There are things which Rocky cannot “do” by just being tough in life. That is how the inner child will look for that protection through different beliefs.
Nevertheless, the emotional trauma is like the scar of a bleeding punch.
That trauma will be there and will open through other life experiences. With so much “hitting” going on, could you imagine someone who is ready to love?
Could you imagine someone who is actually ready to perceive the world under a different consciousness other than “This is good, that is bad. This is right, that is wrong.”
Labeling, judging, rejecting, becomes the repertoire of that inner child who is just looking to protect himself.
An experience in life is just an experience. The story that we believe after that is up to us and our conditioning.
If we rationally understand that death is a natural experience of the physical body, if we know that no one will be here for ever (but yet we will paradoxically) why is there so much crying and unnecessary suffering?
Emotions. The inner kid does not rationalize things and if that little kid is used to getting support and help for his well being from others, then that inner kid will suffer.
If someone decides to get out from the world of the “busy office” and continuous entertainment just to take a look at this inner child to become his own father, that is to become one; then that is a great step to perceive the world under a different consciousness.
The inner kid needs to play, to be joyful in life, the inner father will watch and become amused by seeing that scene.
It is very important to understand these things that are going on inside us. “There” (inside us) lies the solution and all answers.
To look at and understand our emotions is the first step for a different consciousness.
Emotional food
In the process of becoming “one” from a fragmented personality, we may need to deal sooner or later with our inner child.
That “inner child” has been described as the “7 year old kid that is always with us.”
Many of the emotional issues that we experience in life as adults, are related with the way that “7 year old” feels.
Many times as adults we reject or even worse, shut down that natural expression.
When that inner child drowns in the “adult” self, by wanting to be heard and acknowledged, then yet another inner conflict will appear. Sometimes that conflict may have consequences for our health.
Typical doctors who are unaware of the depth of emotional issues, merely will treat the obvious, the surface which does not take care of the issue.
“Don’t eat that. It is “bad” for you.”
In Ananda’s experience, there was a time when he used to drink “pepsi cola” and eat strawberry shortcake when he was a kid. It was a very enjoyable experience after putting up with the rigidity of the school system!
That was his “reward.” Ananda used to walk 3 miles to go back home rather than taking the bus, so he could stop by the bakery.
As an adult, the thought of eating healthy and getting away from “junk food.” That decision took his reward system into the other extreme of the spectrum.
The 8-year-old kid who enjoyed Pepsi and cake was denied in order to be healthy and to “look good.”
As years went by, Ananda experienced an ascetic life style of self-denial. Drinking water is “good.” Pepsi is “bad.”
Eating cake made by some individuals practicing asceticism was “good.” Eating cake made by the bakery was “bad.”
The inner kid was denied in favor of fashionable thinking and the idea of obtaining an image of a responsible adult wanting to have a “six pack “ in his stomach, along with conforming with a religious belief.
Observe how a kid will eat what he likes without further thought. The adult will put the thought based on counting calories, self-image, prestige, narcissism etc.
That is how we discover the value of emotional food in our lives.
Ananda will drink “Coca Cola” to enjoy the taste. The inner kid will feel happy. The adult who has learned the value of the “middle way” is not a tyrant with himself anymore.
Here is the key Lime cheese cake, Ananda!
Great! let me take a piece, let me enjoy it…
When we are out of balance, is when our face turns into a harsh expression, almost painful to watch.
When the inner kid is happy, a smile comes out without any effort.
What is the “spiritual value” of this sharing?
When you smile with the innocence of a child… you have experienced the value of “junk food.” 🙂
Emotional Delusions
In most spiritual teachings, a method is given. Something to follow, something to “do.”
The thought is: You are this degraded being now, but you can become “better.”
Please see that this is a very convincing “reason.” All that is necessary for the teaching to “prove” is how degraded we are in our present condition. Then, automatically the “egotistical” becoming “better” arises.
By” becoming better” we think; we deserve God’s light, we deserve paradise, etc.
It sounds fantastic! 🙂
The language of “becoming better” is the politically correct way to write about spiritual stuff. Anyone could follow this without misunderstanding. If you have not “become better,” then there is something “wrong” with you. The problem is not the teaching but you following it.
In the simplicity of this language lies the problem of theory versus practice.
For someone who has “worked on” changing the self, it is certain that any type of change imposed from the outside will bring an emotional reaction. Then of course, “methods” are created to deal with this “reaction.” More methods to “blame on you” about not being able to follow them correctly, if you have not succeeded.
It is interesting to note how most spiritual seekers are always looking for “methods,” as if spirituality was mathematics.
Love to God is a method. A sense of responsibility to change the world, is another method. The, “if you don’t change then, punishment will be experienced” is another method, etc.
Nevertheless, our emotions will not be acknowledged for typically our emotions are OK with things as they are. Change is not desired. Then, there will be upheaval for sure.
We will say things, which we believe to be “correct,” but then; we will do and feel the opposite. That sort of fragmentation will create a confused person. Then, frustration will come in because of noticing that our expected change hasn’t occurred or it was a temporary fix only.
When we understand our emotions, we will see that we are already fragmented into a person, which we call “me,” then another being which we could call “ego,” and then; the “inner child.”
Most everyone has that fragmentation already, maybe with different labels.
Then of course, more methods will be invented to deal with this, temporarily. A cycle of methods to fix other methods will be created. 🙂
As far as my experience is concerned, a permanent change occurs when there is an experience, which will take away a previous one.
Basically “a nail drives out another nail.”
Love to God will only work if there is indeed that love. It will not work if we are “working on loving God,” it will not work if we are still figuring out how to love God; so honesty is important.
Similarly, by having the experience of the inner self, by just having that experience; there is change and inner understanding of all previously fragmented sides of our personality. That experience becomes the nail to take out previous nails.
Then, emotions will change permanently because there is no rejection, but it is just the experience of something else which is fulfilling and “better.”
That is why “becoming better” is an illusion, a theoretical illusion when we are lacking the experience of the inner self.
To force ourselves to change, means to force the “ego” to disappear or to force the “inner child” to be something else.
Those instructions coming from our intellect, our own minds; are certainly illusions but accepted illusions nevertheless.
However, as paradoxical as “truth” can be, to experience that frustration in changing to a “better self,” is an invaluable experience to move on into a different perspective of life.
Change happens automatically in the experience of the self and that is why, spirituality from my perspective; is a way to find what we are; without further labels to that experience.
There is a knowing without explanations.
Then our emotions will heal. Using force to change the self cannot work in the long run.
Force has never conquered anything.
Opening to life to let the “inner child out” By: Mathias
Mathias, the “wise tree” was speaking with his friend Ananda about the importance of opening to life.
Mathias: “If your “opening “is small you will not be able to feel, and something which does not feel has a limited expression. Usually; in rare occasions it will express; its manifestation is lack of satisfaction; thus, opening is the key.
Now, do we need to think about it to have that opening? No, it doesn’t depend on that.
Opening is part of the experience of feeling. To feel then is the experience which allows you to be combined and that will keep you in a common union with your environment. While being in that opening, in that common union, that becomes a celebration.
Extremes are not healthy. Neither something in between.
It needs to be complete, ample. But always leave an empty space like in the stomach. Oxygenation must be complete but in nourishing ourselves there has to be a space in this, because that space gives movement to sound. In the physical world, sound is very important.”
Ananda: “When our expectations are not fulfilled, then we feel a need to “protect” ourselves so we don’t suffer. Is that opening not to have expectations?”
Mathias: “Friend, What do you protect?”
Ananda: “It is like an “internal child.” As if this inner child feels mistreated. It is as if the environment is harsh. The expression of the world causes suffering in that inner child.”
Mathias: “You need to separate the “inner child” and the ego.
A child will not have the need to feel that he needs to be protected.
The one who is afraid is the ego.
The one who has that need to be protected and defended is the ego. It is not the child. The child needs to come out, because if not that child will drown.
In fact, opening is necessary to let that inner child come out, because he is locked out.
There is a tendency to confuse the inner child with ego. If that inner child does not come out it will get sick.”
Ananda: “How the inner child develops ego?”
Mathias: “The inner child does not develop ego. That inner child is always there. There is ego and inner child. The inner child always is the inner child.
Ananda: “How ego comes out then if a child does not have ego?”
Mathias: “It is called Growth.
When you were a small child, ego was there, but it didn’t manifest itself yet.”
Ananda: “If ego comes out of growth, then ego is not bad…”
Mathias: “Right. It is not bad. As long as it doesn’t hurt you.”
Ananda: “And that suffering will not allow you to get rid of ego?”
Mathias: “Not necessarily. You put the limit. When a small child goes out and sees fire, that child is not afraid. That child wants to see and touch the fire. He will burn himself a bit, but that pain will mark the limit.
To continue to exist does not mean to burn yourself completely, but to learn the limit.
Ananda: “What I have to learn then, is the limit?”
Mathias: “Not only yours but also the one of others. Those limits are always moving …but sound will let you know the limit,.
Ananda: “Sound?”
Mathias: “Yes. You need to learn to listen. Everything has a limit. When you exceed that limit it becomes a noise.”
Ananda:”Ego brings expectations. People will not be able to fulfill those expectations.”
Mathias: “Expectations will never be fulfilled. They are illusions.
There shouldn’t be expectations but appreciation. A small child has appreciation: smiles, looks at things, plays, admires, enjoys… that is all. He is not taking anything.
But then the child will ask with innocence and then the environment will show him the limit. But the child will not stop asking, and then life will show him that he needs to give.
Give and take, appreciation, know the limits… all of that becomes part of a training in life and this shouldn’t cause a trauma, but rather to be able to be in harmony with all of this.
Only enjoy. Learn to make music. Your internal sounds in harmony with the external: the birds, your respiration, your heart, the wind, everything in a common union.
This experience of no limits will help you understand the limits.
Exploring the Depth of Living 