Tagged: let go
Facing to heal
When the “I” is hurt through an experience, there could be revenge or there could be surrendering as a reaction. Either way, the “I” cannot let go or move on, for the pain will not allow it.
When a person speaks of the need for emotional or psychological healing, that person is describing a traumatic experience, which wasn’t allowed to dissolve through the full process.
That experience could come from many lives before, but the pain will be triggered through different experiences in our current life.
A person who lacks awareness will only point a finger onto the culprit of his woes, or try to get rid of the “source” of his pain, or even become submissive of a greater force than himself.
All of those reactions are merely there to reject the experience.
To be submissive is to reject our own self worth.
Suzie had issues with her mother from an early age. Her mother was very bossy, thinking that she was right all the time. Suzie couldn’t express herself well. She would keep an experience that she perceived as unjust towards her, in her heart… the “unconscious.”
Suzie developed problems with her digestion which had a psychological origin; however, doctors kept medicating her for a physical problem. Life continued on and those resentments surfaced in Suzie. As the mother became older, she wasn’t the same. Life taught her to tone down, she became almost like a child, but Suzie’s resentment and anger were unleashed towards her mother. “Time to get even,” Suzie thought.
Suzie left the house and she swore never to see her mother again after all the things that she had done to her…
“Time will heal,” we say; but it doesn’t.
Time only covers the wounds.
Those wounds will be open again at some other time.
When the “I” suffers from an experience; there may be a need for “time off.”
That is the time to recuperate and build ourselves up.
General wisdom will advice: “ Move on, forget the past.”
The trauma cannot be forgotten, it will resurface until we realize that we need to face the issue.
“The issues are in the tissues,” and they will resurface as long as fear and our inability to face things is not realized.
Suzie may have the space to recuperate. She may have the space to fill herself with peace, but unless she realizes her attraction towards violence as away to punish herself, she will continually look for violence towards her being: Self-inflicted or not.
Her mother was the trigger and the source to give the opportunity for Suzie to heal.
Why does Suzie punish herself?
There is guilt in her. That guilt needs to be dissolved. The typical word used is “forgiven.”
Suzie may not see it as it is easier to blame the obvious: “Her mother is a witch.” Yes, her mother has her own issues to deal with, but in a household of 3 kids, only one of them was affected as much as Suzie did. In Life, nothing is a random event. The web of interactions is exactly as it needs to be.
We could easily say: “That is Suzie’s karma” but that does not bring any solution to her woes. “You acted wrong in another Life, now you have to pay for it.”
That is a story for little children.
We may need to deal with what is “now” and Life will bring the tools and resources to do it, if we are ready; if the “I” will allow it by not holding onto beliefs, but by having the courage to face the truth as it changes, as it unfolds…
If that emotion is “let go,” then the time to move on has arrived.
The proof that the issue is gone is in Suzie’s interaction with her mother and not in running away and using the “spiritual buzzwords” of “letting go and moving on.”
Therefore, it is in the moment when Suzie faces her mother empty of that guilt, when she will know if she is healed from previous traumatic experiences.
Please keep this in your awareness: Every experience in Life only will show us who we are. Nothing wrong with that. Just become aware of it.
When Suzie is empty of that inner-guilt, there is no outside violence, which will be a magnet for her.
“When do we move on and let go, then?”
When there is no space in us for that type of wound to appear.
When Suzie has dealt with her guilt and she is able to feel appreciation and compassion for her mother, then she could move on and let go of the past and that will be without effort, it will be as natural as watching a rainy day from the comfort of our home.
We could see the beauty, the uniqueness… but we will not get soaking wet.
“Love” will then have a different dimension in Suzie’s heart.
She is healed. 🙂
It takes more energy to resist than to let go
Those were the words of wisdom that I heard from a yoga teacher in a class that I attended named “Hot flow level 2” where the temperature of the classroom is about 90 to 100 F. Lots of sweaty enjoyment there! 🙂
No doubt she is “right” about letting go… almost.. 🙂
When we speak about physical resistance, then that may be the case. When we are talking about emotional issues, then to let go takes greater courage and greater wisdom than to resist, when there is someone there “choosing” to resist or to let go.
More conventional religious teachings/ spiritual teachings will make it “easy for us,” when they teach us to “resist evil,” “resist anything that is ungodly,” etc.
Those teachings will put us into selecting one side of duality and rejecting the other.
That teaching is not “bad” at all; but for someone who has a different vision and experience of the reality of life; that teaching could be viewed with further depth.
Both, to resist and to let go arise as a duality of being someone. Being someone means to have a defined view a defined image of “who I am.”
In most conventional teachings to “know who you are,” is very important.
Nevertheless, to define yourself is a problem of the thinking mind. Why? Because by doing that the opportunity to change and evolve will be minimized.
In the world of duality, to learn when to resist and when to let go according to the circumstances, is an indication of wisdom. To “always” reject resisting as in a commandment may be useful in some circumstances, but not in others. Nevertheless, the non-verbal, non-intellectual understanding of these things will come to everyone of us at our due time.
In the meantime, we just need to acknowledge everyone’s path and personal timing and growth in life.
Those were also the words of wisdom of my yoga teacher in that session… So many words of wisdom! 🙂
Yes… many know those words of wisdom intellectually, but which can only be understood by another when we can see that wisdom in “action,” in front of us; and that is the beauty of a relationship, when there is the willingness to learn from the “teacher” in front of us…
Resisting and letting go are meaningless when the individual becomes “nothing,” that is when the mind full with definitions, ideas and ideals is left aside; that is known as emptiness.
Being empty takes us into our nature of being formless. Paradoxically, because we are formless, non-defined; we adopt a “form.” It is through that form that we relate with the world… and that is the importance of knowing the state of emptiness; because in that way; we are something but…we are not. We are there, but we are not… 🙂 We are individuals… but we are part of the totality… Oneness. Both at the same time, not just one side of the coin.
The above goes beyond the simple religious understanding of “good and bad.” 🙂
Apathy in life
If we have been observing ourselves, sooner or later we will find out that our mood is constantly changing. Typically, we will remember the complete opposite sides of the spectrum; that is when we are elated, full of zest and enthusiasm; and then when we are depressed, when we feel down or with complete apathy of what is going on.
To be aware of that constant flux or change is to notice how nothing is lasting in life.
The disciple said: “My meditation was extraordinary.”
The Zen master responded: “It will go away.”
The disciple, after a couple of days said: “My meditation was awful today.”
The Zen master responded: “it will go away.”
The issue is when we do not notice this natural fluctuation and rather than center ourselves in the observation of life without judgment, we try to grab a particular moment in life, a particular feeling and posses it.
That will go away as well.
To just observe means to be aware. When we stop taking ourselves seriously, we can smile. 🙂
When we smile, life changes its color.
A rich, eloquent, nutritious smile can turn our own winter time in life into a fruitful Spring.
Any feeling that we feel, any sensation, any thought has its cusp and its bottom. In between there is movement, inevitable change. This is a fact in the world of duality.
Being aware of that, means to become free from the fleeting sensation while enjoying it.
Life is like eating a piece of strawberry cake: We can only enjoy the taste of it while eating it. That means that at the end of the experience, there will be no cake left.
Most, worry about finishing the piece of cake, thus; there is no enjoyment in the experience. Others will rush themselves into finishing the cake for the anticipation of a “better future.” Yet others, will practice apathy in front of the strawberry cake, saying: “it will go away. I’d better no get used to it.”
Please see how the Zen teaching: “it will go away,” could be easily misinterpreted.
Enjoyment, appreciation of the moment needs to be there. Our capacity for enjoyment of life will depend on our openness to life, our ability to experience the experience and to let it go.
This is not about thinking: “I’d better not enjoy the strawberry cake because it will be gone while I eat it and then I will miss it.” This creates apathy out of fear.
Taste the strawberry cake of life, enjoy it and be grateful of that experience…This creates gratitude in life.
When there is gratitude there is enthusiasm and with that vitality, strength… Then, a new human being is born.
Healing the heart through poetry: Letting go
As the clouds move through a perfect moment with the sun; a timeless instant in the sky,
my love of beauty cannot remain, for it will hurt to let it go.
My perception and feelings must go on, to a place with no name.
The moment needs to finish when the instant vanishes as those relentless hopes which have no place to sink in.
Beauty never stays the same, but only in the heart of the beholder.
Beholding is not the way, as the way is always newness…
It just remains to go away.
I found what I have lost: It is something which only I know, which I have not experienced before.
It is a song with no name. No artist or signature to claim it. It is just a song which plays every time there is beauty to see, to perceive to feel.
As I cannot possess beauty with my hands, as I cannot embrace it with my limbs, I must let it go and learn to just see. Let it be.
Tomorrow will be gone.
The moment could be eternal, even though it is just an instant;
There is no opportunity for deep feelings, there is no time, no opportunity for questions,
it is all just one moment with no guarantees…
Let it go. For it will go.
In the experience of something which is gone there is sadness coming from the soul.
It is heaviness in the heart, for I must understand that beauty needs to go.
As darkness moves into a day full of light, and as the sun moves to meet the horizon,
many colors will be seen, which I can only see when I forget what is to see.
Time has no friends. New birds will appear flying in the sky just as a new wave appears every time the former disappears to be lost in the ocean.
Forever gone, but not so.
Perhaps as I let you go, something will come which otherwise wouldn’t.
Going away is not the end, but just another beginning.
Hope just fills another day with nothing, to be empty handed.
I need to let you go, to let you be free from my mind…. to see that this is not the afternoon that I thought it could have been…
Perhaps it wasn’t meant to be.
There is a maybe, a tomorrow; but that only brings further sorrow.
You need to fly from my mind and meet your destiny, which is not mine.
To hold onto beauty is a mirage, a beautiful mirage in a sunny afternoon;
as clear as the white sands of that ocean which welcomed us in the elation of that summer that could have been.
The mirage will pass but your beauty will remain. Things will change, but that change only makes your beauty…