Tagged: Love

On the perception of “equality.”

Justice, equality, love… pretty words used by many when looking for support.
The human journey is to go from the merely intellectual understanding of those words to the actual feeling and thus BEING it.
Love IS. Justice and equality are man-made inventions in a world full of violence. Human beings ARE violent creatures.

Life has “justice” in it. Although, “justice” is not the correct word; which should be “balance” instead, human perception of justice is not the paradigm used by Life itself.

A few days ago, the International women’s day was celebrated. Women’s constant struggle to find equality with men has been the theme of many years now. The invention of a new pretty word -empowerment- (of women) has been used to show society’s efforts to work towards that equality.

Why does society perceives men and women not to be equal? Because conditioned human beings find and concentrate on differences and use violence as a tool to demonstrate supremacy over “different ones.” However, that perception is an illusion, for differences create a complementary quality which creates wholesomeness, unity. We are one.
In short, differences are not opposite but complementary. Life moves along those lines. Society moves through conflict, through discrimination, oppression and violence of one side towards the other. Paradoxically, it is that same violent mind the one that has created “rights” to defend the oppressed side.

At the most obvious and superficial perception, differences of men and women create the complementary quality needed to live Life in harmony. In its depth, we could find that every man and woman irrespective of sexual orientation, has a masculine and a feminine side. Our perception as society will change once a human being is able to harmonize those 2 sides within. Otherwise, the predominant side will prevail and dominate the other. That is exactly what happens at the level of society.

It is too bad that politicians and law makers are completely unaware of the above, for “laws” are only intellectual cover ups unable to change how actually a person feels. It is indeed those feelings, the ones that will be expressed and despite the enactment of “pretty” laws, we will witness further violence.
Yes, laws are better than nothing in a dormant society. At least we could say that “we are trying.”

Observe that we ARE violence. Laws only cover that fact by forcing a behavior, because most humans are unable to look inside. There is no time. There is no profit in such activity. No demand.

Among men, there has been separation as well. Exploitation due to differences of skin color, religion, etc. Not long ago, a man could have been a slave to another, due to his skin color or national origin.

The same type of violence is showcased with animals. I always wondered about the “symbiotic” relationship of domesticated animals with human beings: What benefit do animals obtain? They could be better off all by themselves. On the other hand, humans have benefited through the free exploitation of animals. Animals have been used even for “entertainment” (bull fight, cock fight, dog fight, etc.) as still some countries keep obsolete and inhumane traditions as forms of “entertainment” and many times use another “pretty” word to hide their violent nature, they use the word “art” to hide the slaughter.

But, where is “justice” in those inhumane practices with animals?
Well… It comes to mind the epidemic diseases: COVID-19. SARS, MERS, Avian influenza, Swine flu, etc. Those viruses have an origin in animals.

Balance. In Life, a human being is no better than a fish. Although human religions and law makers may believe otherwise. Want “proof”? Death is everywhere. Hardship strikes to hunters and prey “equally.”

It is important to recognize that we are all together in this. Our distinctions, separations, differences, etc. do not control the way Life works.

When we DO something to OTHERS, we do it to OURSELVES.
Looking forward to see that “law” in “practice” in some country showcasing a “progressive,” democratic constitution.

Many years ago, it was taught: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”  It seems we still have issues properly defining and understanding what “others” means, for most only see “I” but cannot understand what it is.

We ARE together, with what we ARE NOT

When we sleep at night, who are we?
Are we conscious of BEING? No? Where are We?

We could say “logically” that we are the body which is resting on the bed. But, experientially; we are not. Logically that is a “truth,” but experientially is a falsehood.

We ARE but we ARE NOT. That is the totality. The illogical “reality” which our conditioning is unable to make us understand. 

When we ARE, when we awaken from sleep, we do not realize how the environment affects our disposition.  The collective consciousness is affected, but yet, we believe that we are separated from all of that.

Even though awake, we are asleep.
Some are affected by a profound lethargy due to their efforts to keep the “same old thing.” Life changes around but yet, the way we meet those changes is with the same “old tricks” from the past.  In that conditioning, we cannot meet the “now.”

Once a change is visible as it screams in front of our faces, we meet that change with resistance, comparing what it used to be with what IS.

In our “logical” society we have learned that if A is different than B, then B cannot be ever he same as A.
In Life, both are the same; for the recognition of A as the opposite of B, means that both are naturally inseparable, as a head follows a body. Due to our “efforts” to fight by keeping the head but not the body, we kill the whole thing in the name of some belief. We only see a different form, and label it to make a conceptual difference, but we do not see the substance.

“I am this, not that.” Infantile perception. Superficial observation.

In Life “opposites” are together. That is the totality in the world of duality.

What was said in this article, cannot be “explained” logically or through a “spiritual” course without lying and getting into logical “loopholes.”

Who are we?
What we ARE and what we ARE not. That wholeness is an experience, not an intellectual understanding.
When we ARE, we are afraid of what we ARE NOT.
When we ARE NOT, fear is not.
As long as we ARE, there will be fear.
Fear is the opposite of love. So in the duality of Life, both are like a body with a head.
Some may say: Hate is the opposite of love not fear!   I am not talking about a dictionary word here. The game of antonyms. Look inside you!  FEAR is there as the cause. The siblings are hate, greed, attachment, add any other “bad” word here…

Yet, Love is experienced when we ARE NOT while WE ARE. That is to be AWAKE by integrating the opposites.  That was labeled as “egoless” by some misunderstood religious book, beliefs, etc.
However, we are busy rejecting fear with its siblings and praising love. That we call “spiritual,” “moral,” etc.
By denying what IS, we live in a made-up world of concepts and illusions; truly sleeping while walking around.

Emotional dependency

To fall in Love is very easy. To love, is something that very few are able to know. Love cannot be learned.
Love appears when we are able to appreciate and give.
Appreciate the moment. Give yourself. This is not a “practice,” this is BEING those things without trying.
How can I “achieve” those things then?
By being completely AWARE of who you ARE now and allowing for the inner barriers to fall.
Otherwise, we bring the past to the “now,” we try to control outcomes and expect to receive what we desire, what we think is “fair.” For most, that is their version of love.

To bring the past means to feed grudges. To point out “mistakes.” To believe that someone cannot change. Control brings jealousy, the need to possess. Because there is this psychological separation, there is always the “Me “and “you” that cannot fuse into “us.” Thus, to give yourself under those terms, is only another pretty idea.

Everything in Life is meant to change. When we live through the identity of another, we will suffer when the other is gone.
Many will avoid becoming closer to another, for the fear of being hurt; but yet miss an opportunity for growth and enjoyment. They are not AWARE that inner fears do not allow someone to experience the way Life IS. With fear there cannot be love.

That emotional dependency of illusory security, does not go away when we protect ourselves from others, but when we are wide open, vulnerable, alive.

Some relationships are meant to last 1 day. Others a lifetime. Truly, there is no difference for the one who is open to Life.
The moment, the “now,” that is all that matters. Once it is gone, a new door will open if we do not bring the past with us. A new adventure will arrive if we do not try to control the surroundings. If we give ourselves to Life at every moment, we may find what Love IS.
We find by letting go.

Betterment without practice

Mary told John: “You need to become compassionate.”
John looked up the word compassionate in the dictionary.
It said: “Feeling or showing sympathy and concern for others.” John wasn’t quite sure what compassionate meant through that definition for he always thought that he felt concerned for others, so he looked for another definition: “A feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering.”

John understood the meaning of compassion better through the second definition. Then, he decided that from now on, he will “practice” that compassion.

Mary had a severe cold. John could see that Mary was suffering. John “practiced” feeling sympathy for Mary. He also followed up with a “desire to alleviate” her cold. “Can I hand you some tissue?” He asked.
Mary saw “improvement” in John. She said “Thank you for asking.”
That created the necessary rapport for John to practice that “compassion.”
He thought he was being compassionate now… He was “improving.”  🙂

Reality is that John wasn’t compassionate even after “practicing” for many months. For instance, he wasn’t able to feel empathy for suffering animals. That wasn’t part of his “practice” of “compassion.”
John was merely conditioned to practice his improved “good manners” in front of people.
This little example, shows how our “spirituality of practice” have been shaping individuals into fake ones.

There are things which need “practice” to become more proficient at, but values are not part of that.

So what do we DO to become “better”?
Nothing at all. The thing is not to BECOME something which we don’t even know what IS, what is the extent of it.
“Love your neighbor as yourself” sounds good to “practice,” but apparently that doesn’t work in a war… or even as close as  the “office world.”
The thing is to OBSERVE to BE AWARE of what IS… what we ARE.

WHAT IS, is not necessarily the way we ACT: I can pet the neighbor’s dog and look “loving and concerned,” while inside me a thought could be saying: “Nasty mutt.”

If we are AWARE of that inner conflict, that is where “betterment” starts…. But we have been trained to suppress that thought with a “loving” one: “ You are such a precious dog.”
That is the greatest lie.

We have been trained to add words as “objective to achieve,” as in: “I need to be more caring with animals and people.” This mitigates our sense of guilt, whenever we see that our attempt to BECOME some moral value, does not work. 
All we need is a little AWARENESS of the NOW.
Forget the nice words: Love, compassion, gentleness, peace, etc. and the opposite words as well. Those words don’t help at all. Those are only words.
Awareness of what we feel. Awareness of our own relaxed presence or lack of. Awareness of the stream of thoughts and words. That is all.

One day, we may even question ourselves after our observation: Is that ME?
That is a sign that betterment is on the way, without “practice.”

 

The problem of “Reality.”

Our mindset pursues what it believes to be the “truth,” what is “real” according to conditioning.
Some type of human consciousness are self-righteous and have narrow perceptions, which they call “truth,” reality: “what is real is what exists, what exists is what I can perceive with my 5 senses.” Easy enough to make that “truth” into a commandment.

Our society and collective consciousness are in agreement with that, for the majority of people have 5 senses working somewhat in a similar way.
All is “good” until scientists “discover” that what we perceive is not necessarily what is “real.”

At that point, we may ask ourselves, what is “reality”? 🙂

That question in fact, synthesizes the main problem with our vision and understanding of Life.

The issue is not to concentrate our efforts in discovering what is “real” out there. The main issue is to understand ourselves and the way we perceive Life. Our perception of it.
In short, Life can be perceived in many different ways according to our consciousness. 

For example, imagine that all people in the world were born blind. They never perceived light through their eyes. Certainly, we could have built a “normal” society made for blind people. Other senses rather than vision could have taken precedence.
To speak about colors, rainbows, clouds, etc. in that world of blindness, will not make any sense. If someone speaks about being able to see light, that one could be crucified or labeled as “crazy.” That gift of vision may be a curse in disguise, for “normal” people will not be able to understand.

Thus, greater ability to perceive means an expanded vision of reality.
Our “standard” is the way of perception of the collective consciousness in society, but that perception is far from what could be labeled as “real.”

When we place our energy in understanding our own perceptions, rather than in using the convenient labels of “right, wrong, true, false, bad and good,” then any sort of judgment is out. Certainly we may need to act as our society dictates.
If someone harms another, there are laws. There are consequences, but judgment is a human invention that we have added into the personality of our beloved Gods.

Compassion arrives when we understand that there are many ways to perceive/experience Life. A particular way followed by someone may be condemned by the laws of our society and labeled as “bad,” but we know it is only a perception. That openness will free us with further understanding which will reflect in a peaceful disposition.

Moral talk says: “We must be peaceful, loving, etc.” but as our barriers of perceptions open up allowing us to have a greater vision of the valley of Life; that moral wishy, washy talk; will not be needed.
BEING peaceful is not morality. It is not to obey a law or a commandment. Those DOINGS are fake behaviors.

The “reality” of compassion and love is in extent of the openness of our consciousness, and not the openness of our mouths.

The Spirituality of Human Sexuality

When individuals are trapped in the physicality of sex, the need to get rid of the sexual energy through 5 minutes of pleasure will be prevalent. For many, it is no longer enjoyable, but something that needs to be done to get back to “normal” life.
That “solution” may bring frustration as sexual energy tends to regenerate.
Others, may have a good amount of that sexual energy specially when young, nevertheless; their search for physical pleasure will unavoidably take that person in sexual energy “debt” in their older years. There will be lack of vitality.

Human sexuality as portrayed by pornography, typically shows aggression between partners. It is the frantic search for a solo pleasure even while with a partner. Violence is part of the setup, as it is to hit, grab and use abusive language towards a partner.  It is a sweaty fight, where man and woman get out empty handed, for their vitality is lessened. In that consciousness, that performance is usually labeled as “great sex.”

At that level of human sexuality, there is no awareness of the subtle energies which are created during the sexual act.
The excitement of the body/mind is concerned in reaching a peak quickly, which is known as orgasm, without giving the opportunity for the subtle energies to settle their presence, and to become conscious of it.

There is no human behavior that shows best how we truly ARE,  as human sexuality. There is no way to fake that, even while using “techniques.”

Even though so called “tantric practices” concentrate on “techniques” for the practitioners, the outcome is usually a phony event. That is no surprise as much “spirituality” is about faking the “now”: The goal is to BECOME in the “future” someone who we ARE not, some IDEAL. No guarantees. A technique will not do the trick.

Showing utmost respect and love of the sacredness of a partner is not something to fake by following the practices of a book, video or “master class.”
To be able to feel totally comfortable with ourselves and with another so the sexual embrace will be a slow dance, united by being overtaken by blissful energies which are building up through utmost relaxation… That is enlivening. That is a way to recuperate vitality. 

I want some of that! How do I get it? What do I have to “practice”?

It is the process of refining BEING. It has nothing to do with sexual practices or techniques. Those techniques ARE, for those who ARE not.
Refining BEING from the gross to subtle is Tantra.
Self Love, enjoyment of sensuality, ability to surrender to the moment, awareness of sexual energies building feelings of love… All of that does not come through a book or a class.
Deconditioning of fear based attitudes and mental blockages through beliefs are part of the “work.” AWARENESS of inner feelings over mental conditioning.

Sexuality is only the outcome, the consequence of that “work.”

DOING, acting, performing what we ARE NOT, is the basis of inner dishonesty. Our whole mentality as society is based on that. We have forgotten to acknowledge BEING, but eventually, it catches up with us. That is when a seeker is interested in finding the TRUTH of Life, but unless his own inner dishonesty is faced first, there is no chance.

The TRUTH has been always within us. Human sexuality is only a manifestation of that truth.

Fight to survive

Our society is built upon the idea of separation. There has to be a nemesis to make our Life interesting, to have a purpose.
Humans have developed their little colorful country flags, their little national anthems and the idea that they are “representing” something “special” over everyone else. That sense of identification is misguided through chauvinism.

It is team A against team B. It is “Me” and what I am identified with, against everything else.

To separate, we could use jerseys of different colors, the color of our skin, or ideas. Anything helps to make a separation.

That idea of separation is in our core. When “I” am not representing “my” country, “I” am representing my town, my church, my political party, my “ism,” my race, my social status, my education, my age group, my sexual identity….

It is that idea the one that needs to be flushed out from our system for the repercussions are tremendous. This is a matter of consciousness.

I can litter the streets because those are not “mine.” It is “my” country but my separation mode is different now. Among same countrymen, the streets, the Ocean, the air are not “mine.” Those are “mine” only when someone from another country, someone “different” wants something with them.
That is the stupid idea deeply ingrained which books do not talk about, nor the priest, the religion or the politician.
Those only “talk about” peace, unity, love… Cheap talk.
When we ARE separation, how could we be united? By DOING something?

That conditioning of “survival of the fittest” is flawed as most humans believe it is.
“I” cannot survive without the other things around for the “other” things are truly part of “I.”

Pollute the air, pollute the Ocean, displace animals from their habitat… What happens then?
In our society, economic interests are first. We live in this human made realm to compete. That is our fight to survive.
That is the extension of the conditioning.

With the above in mind, how a man will act with a woman when united in sexual intercourse?
In separation.
Deep down it is a fight. A competition. A struggle to subdue the other. It comes natural! Although we may label that as “love” or “making love,” or use another “nice” label. We cannot hide who we ARE.

Anything a “modern” conditioned man DOES will only reflect who he IS.

So, am “I” preaching to “change,” to be someone else by “practicing” some idea? NO. I am merely stating my perception. It is just a perception.

Change does not happen when I try to DO the opposite of what “I” understand to be “wrong” to make it “right.”  That is infantile.
Change happens when I can clearly see who “I” AM without any additional emotions to defend or condemn myself. Just SEE it completely.

For as long as we do not SEE it, we will only believe it or we will not.
We will add yet another belief in our deep and huge bag of beliefs, that sooner or later will be lost in forgetfulness. All we will have left then, is another “nice” talk about Love, Peace, Compassion, Unity, etc.

The mind can live with the ideal, but “reality” cannot.