Sexuality has been separated from spirituality and religious beliefs. The dichotomy is viewed many times as opposites rather than complementary.
The phrases: “pleasure of the flesh” or “temptations of the flesh” convey a lesser evolved way than the spiritual one, which is believed to be asexual, “pure.”
In spirituality it is well known that “we” are energy (subtle energy, that is) as many have the awareness of different subtle bodies besides the physical one. The word “I” then, has another meaning.
Sexuality is perceived many times to be about the union of sexual organs with an objective: To procreate or to experience pleasure. That is the extent of mainstream human sexuality.
However, arousal which is the ignition key in sexuality; is all subtle energy. It is completely unconscious when it happens until we gain some awareness when it has happened. That is the beginning of that subtle energy manifesting in some sort of conscious way. After that for most men, it may feel as if opening the sink water at full force. It is a matter of a couple minutes before it fills the sink with pleasurable sensation and then, it overflows… That is the extent of sexuality for many.
That is subtle vital energy overflowing. That lack of “control” is what most men are looking to “improve” through many techniques and “high tech products” or participation in some retreat.
Sexuality is an extension of our spiritual nature. Procreation is energy creating energy. While having pleasure, is energy re-energizing itself. Although, for most men at this time, re-energizing is not fully experienced, while on the other hand; depletion is well known.
Because as humans we are living with violence, repressions and fear, we have damaged the subtle conduits of energy which will not allow us to “control” the force running through the “sink water.” Most men are trying to control through will power, or using best-seller techniques and so on; but the damage in the “pipes” cannot be fixed through those techniques. Yes, we could be careful, we could use many tricks; but that is all artificial, for that “control” or regulation happens automatically when the subtle “pipes” are working fine; therefore, there is no need for the mind to be involved at all. Thus, you are free to experience the experience, for the mind only deteriorates and interrupts the feeling of experiencing.
“Fixing” our violent ways, repressions and fears, will in turn fix the damaged conduits. That will change the perception and experience of male sexuality 360 degrees.
Why is pornography so popular in most men’s experience? Because it displays that which we repress. The armor of taboos and preconceptions are there to be challenged with what we unconsciously would like to experience but we cannot through heavy conditioning. Also, for most the mind is the most important “sexual organ” and when the sexual experience is not fulfilling, then the mind craves for more mental stimulus. Pornography as it is today; shows the association of violence with sexuality. It sends the message that violence is “good sex.” It sends the message that human sexuality is reduced only to the interplay of physical sexual organs. It sends the message that man has the “duty” to “make” the female enjoy sex while he is convulsively moving his hips back and forward in a tiring and violent way; while holding on for dear life. It appears to be almost a sweet torture. Pornography sends the message that sex ends with male ejaculation, and that that is necessary for men and women to feel satisfaction. Pornography lacks the depth of portraying human sensuality at its best, and because of that it lacks emotional intimacy, which is another level in the experience of human sexuality.
No wonder human sexuality has been taken apart from spirituality.
Definitely, there are other ways to experience human sexuality and one of those, is intimately related with spirituality. There are temples in India portraying that, even though; many will not understand why and rather use rejecting labels such as “impure,” or “filthy.”
Once we go through the road of fixing the “sink water,” we will know that there are no shortcuts. It is a road of self understanding and self-observation, where the mind and its conditioned tricks are caught one by one. It is a road of healing by harmonizing our dualistic nature of male-female. It is a road of patience as it takes time and… of course, practice.
Sexuality at that point could not possibly be viewed as “sinful” or “dirty.” Instead, it becomes one of the most beautiful experiences that man could have, which will allow us to grow in harmony, stability and love.
As we ARE so is the expression of our sexuality. Sexuality and Spirituality have always been one.
What we ARE is the flavor that will be transmitted to others. What we DO does not bring flavor when our actions do not match who we ARE.
For most, sexuality is about physical attraction or an opportunity. These individuals usually are not aware of energies. That is fine. For others sexuality is an expression and the physical goes along with emotional closeness, for there is energetical compatibility. That is fine too.
Let me illustrate: Most “normal” individuals will eat junk food in a heartbeat. These are not aware of the consequences that this will bring later on, but they enjoy the moment. Enjoyment is good! Junk food is many times, emotional food. Others who are aware of natural food and the benefits of it, may not eat junk food. Junk food is naturally tasteless for them. They enjoy “healthy” food! Similarly, some may sleep with anyone in the name of “practicing” Tantra. Energetically junk food is OK for them. Others, may be more picky. All is good, according to our consciousness. But, if we crave junk food but repress it in the name of eating healthy, we may have created a problem for ourselves. Change from junk into healthy without repression, does not come solely through intellectual understanding. There has to be change of consciousness, otherwise; our repression will be hidden and growing.
Male ejaculation has become a “problem” nowadays, due to information shared by “masters.” We hear: Avoid ejaculation at all costs, that drains your energy. “Techniques” are sold for that, etc. If your BEING is not ready for that, it will be all about repression. Sex will not be enjoyable as a guilt trip is assured, if a “mistake” happens. A “master” is not made out of “practice” alone. If there was only “practice” and “Technique” rest assured, that individual is not a “master.”
It is very important to know where we ARE at a particular point in time. To look at ourselves and observe if we are repressing or indulging to the point of draining ourselves. If we are in the middle, know that this “middle” will change in time. It is a game of balance. To gain that sense of balance, is very important in Life.
The mind likes to ask questions such as: How many times is it OK to ejaculate per month?
Please forget about that. Learn to feel. If you are aware of how you feel, you will know. “Listen to your body.” If we depleted our energy, there are visible consequences. Using “scientific help” will deplete more what we have left. Naturally, celibacy is helpful at that time to regenerate our energy.
We have made sexuality into a problem. Rather, look at ways to change, to become less rigid about ideas of what “should be.” As we learn to accept ourselves and love ourselves starting from our bodies and the appreciation of the different feelings/sensations that our bodies are capable of, we could be ready to experience our own meaning of human sexuality. It is our own path after all.
Some individuals have the capacity to enjoy sex tremendously. Others do not. Once we realize that Life offers the whole range of experiences, then our labels of “good, bad, right , wrong” will be left aside. All it is needed from us at every moment, is to be completely honest with ourselves. This holds true with sexuality as with other aspects of Life.
We may need to remember that Life changes and so do we. It is natural. Only our minds will bind us to the way we were a few months ago. It is in that acceptance of change how a relationship could be built. Nevertheless, most are not ready for that. Most want certainty, security. These individuals demand that someone does not change throughout their lives… without a doubt, love cannot grow in that.
Love grows in uncertainty. That is the flavor of BEING.
Even today, there is a complete misunderstanding of human sexuality.
There is very little conscious experience of male sexuality. This time, I will share in a series of articles.
What makes me an “expert”?
I had the “normal” consciousness at one time in my Life. Now, it is different. Out of that change of consciousness there are many other natural changes including a different perception, experience and understanding of sexuality. Throughout reading the many articles of this blog, many will realize what I am pointing out. It seems as if 2 different people were writing here, although; it was just “me.”
In our society there is a reaction towards male energy. That reaction has taken the collective consciousness to believe that female energy is what we need at this time. The typical misunderstanding has placed a woman as the centerpiece on some religions and even “Tantra” teachings today. Please be aware that female energy is genderless. A male could have a predominant female energy as well as a female, male energy. Misunderstanding upon misunderstanding based on “research” of “normal” typical individuals is not the basis of the belief that human sexuality is like that. There is more to it.
A woman cannot understand the experience of a male. Similarly the opposite. Between males (whether predominantly female or male energy,) there is an enormous range of experiences that are possible.
Nevertheless, a different type of sexuality beyond the “normal” kind based on the harmonious exchange of energy of 2 different poles (male/female) happens when human consciousness changes. When we ARE ready.
Without this inner change, we are left with “techniques” and “rituals,” this is the game of pretending to be something that we ARE not. Spirituality and Sexuality are based on consciousness. Conscious awareness of energy. However, most are stuck in the physical attributes.
Therefore, it only makes sense to acknowledge who we ARE at this time, to value who we ARE at this time, to love who we ARE at this time, for a natural change to occur, free of traumatic experiences.
Our society sells performance and to be “better” all the time, without realizing that they are sending the message that as we ARE, we ARE not enough. This game of a donkey striving to reach the invisible carrot does not allow us to enjoy that which IS, right NOW… before it changes naturally.
The above is the foundation for Tantra. Without it, we are just dealing with mind games, as “teachers” are merely taking advantage of human weaknesses by merely promoting to indulge in sex, to a sexually repressed and spiritually unfulfilled individual. That game could be dangerous.
Sexuality is energy. It is that type of energy the one capable of bringing different types of experiences to individuals. That energy flows naturally from the pelvic region to the forehead, however; most “normal” individuals are completely unaware of this for their subtle “pipes” (nadis) are not “clean” enough. When this energy flows, the state of elation and bliss could be maintained longer which translates to a fulfilled, revitalizing act. However, for most that upward path is “clogged up” as a pipe which does not allow for water to flow upwards. The consequence is the explosion of that pressure on the pelvic region. That is what is known as “normal” for most. The label used is “orgasm.”
I want to clean my “pipes.” How to DO it? What is the “technique”?
If you are asking those questions, there is no understanding of what I conveyed above.
Only sharing for the common good.
We shall continue….