Tagged: masturbation

Questions for June 2nd, 2013 – All about Lust

What is Lust ? How Is sex-lust different from taste-lust (wanting to eat tasty dishes) or cloth-lust (wanting to wear fashionable clothes) ?

Dear soul,
Thank you for your great question!
Lust is basically a desire to possess something for self gratification. As you realized there are many forms of lust which typically are expressed through a sense organ.

Sex lust will be expressed through sexual organs. That is the focus of it. However, there are many steps which lead into it which are part of the experience of lust. A thought, an emotion all of that will bring that desire to possess, then other sense organs will become involved in it.

A person who is overcome by sex lust is unable to express love and a nurturing touch through his/her senses without an ulterior motive. For “normal” people this is known as the way for “procreation” or sadly called “love;” but for spiritual minded people , anything that overcomes our conscious awareness is just means not to be a master of the self.

You may enjoy a delicious meal. Enjoy it to feel nurtured. If you want to continue eating just for the “taste of it,” then you are experiencing lust at the taste level. If you “crave” for a particular meal and you cannot be without it, that is lust at the taste level.

Clothes are not “lustful” in itself by our vision on them. So, the sense of the physical eyes are the main culprit. Wearing fashionable clothes is not the issue. The issue is how you feel about it or how others may perceive you (what signal you are bringing.)

A baby wearing fashionable clothes will be perceived as a cute baby for he does not have the “vibes” to be perceived otherwise. However, there may be individuals who may have a different perception based on their own “issues.”
That is the signal that we need to be aware, that we may be triggering in others.

Best wishes!

om shanti, I did the foundation course around 15 months back. Have not been a regular student though i am trying to improve myself first. Somehow celibacy is something which is evading me. Have been trying hard but somehow not able to do that. Although I agree that frequency has absolutely decreased yet have not been able to celibate completely and indulge in masturbation. Please advice.

Dear soul,
Thank you for your honest question!

Here is my list out of my own experience, hope it is helpful for you.

1) Be especially aware of the food that you eat. Be picky about it. As much as possible eat only what you cook. Being vegetarian is a must. Avoid any sort of spicy food items. Please be informed about Satvvic diet and stick to it. Drink water and juices. Don’t do coffee or any other stimulant as much as possible.
Your diet is VERY important. It is related with your mind and thus, with the way you perceive the world.

2) Because you just started this path, you will need to practice the “method of avoidance” until you get a grip of yourself. Avoid situations which may trigger sexual thoughts. Avoid having idle time where your mind could fantasize. Become busy in spiritual matters. This is where “service” at your near BK center will help you a lot.

3) Regulate your sleeping time. Sleep enough hours but be aware when “dreams” are coming. In the beginning of this, you will have lustful dreams which will lead into “wet dreams.” It is the unconscious trying to force you to change your ways. If you can avoid that by waking up early enough ( 3:30 AM ready for Amrit Vela meditation) you will be ahead of the game.

4) Develop your feelings. Feel intensely with your heart. Learn to appreciate the opposite gender with those feelings. Be around Nature as much as possible so those feelings will be developed without much effort. Enjoy a sunset. Sit by a park. Smell the roses. Watch the ocean. Write poetry. All of that will develop a sensibility in you which will be extremely helpful to conquer sexual lust.

5) Engage in regular meditation. The goal is to feel inner peace, that is to express those inner feelings. Feelings when developed are the way to conquer sexual urges. The heart chakra when developed is beyond the second chakra (sexuality.) True spirituality starts at the Heart Chakra.

6) Be patient. It may take years. However, you will see progress within the first 6 months. You are engaging yourself in something which is not “normal,” so you will require lots of Godly/ Divine help on this task. Be attuned to those Divine energies by loving God with your heart.

7) Don’t give up. You may lose a battle, but not the war. Have the courage to believe in yourself and that this can be done.

8) Read the section titled “The Awakening” By Mathias (it is a tab on this blog.) Pay attention to those pieces of advice. They are very helpful.

Best wishes!

Question about sexuality

“Salutations! I am 18 years old and I have experienced a five month period where I feel to have transformed sexual lust into love for all beings. Occasionally sexual lust would arise but I would observe it and it would rise into my heart and result in a strong feeling of love and compassion. However, this was in India. When I got back home, surrounded by emotional triggers, it has resulted in sexual lust being more present. It’s so present, in fact, that my dream last night was sexual in nature. I’ve masturbated once in 5 months and I haven’t had any sexual dreams until being home. Now it seems to come up every four or five days and it can be difficult for me to sit back and observe. I am questioning whether to engage in healthy sexual activities or to continue attempting to observe and continue my meditative practice. I feel my mind is just seeking sensual pleasure and that I have the presence to transform it if I simply sit with it and keep practicing meditation – but I’m a little worried I’m beginning to repress the feelings which would result in deep rooted tension and desire. What do you think? Thank you so much.”

Avyakt7 responds:

Thank you for your question!

Dear soul,

It appears to me that you are standing between 2 boats in the ocean. One of them, is pulling you to the right; the other to the left. If you don’t do anything, it will come to a point where your legs will spread apart very far and you will feel pain and then, the ocean will be your only possibility to go and hopefully, you will know how to swim! 🙂

Emotions are a tricky part of the human psyche. When you are in a dream those emotions will act so, the dream will be like “real” life. As you know, the only way to know that it wasn’t real is when you wake up. Therefore, your unconscious will play out what the conscious is rejecting. Please remember this.

Because you are young, your sexual drive is at its peak now. Please be aware of that. The experience that you had in India is something to cherish, for it is showing you what you are capable of achieving, if you have that aim; however, there is no “free lunch” in this and you will have to conquer sex lust and that is work to do, which will take some time. It is not that easy but it can be done.

First, ask yourself what is the reason why you want to be celibate. You did not mention that you had a particular spiritual practice. Once this question is resolved, then you will know and then you will need to put your resources (will power and practices) to reach this aim. Many are celibate for “health reasons,” or because there is no other choice. If your celibacy is for spiritual reasons, you will have the help from life to reach what your capacity is.

When you mention about a “healthy sexual activity,” it gives me the impression that you cannot be “engaged in a healthy celibate activity.” 🙂 It appears to me that you already have a disposition in your mind. Be aware of it.

There are many things to change in your life style to be able to tune yourself in for a celibate life style. Just a desire to stop sexual practices will not do it, and the unconscious will play games with you until your “decision” is broken. then, you will think that it is “normal” or “healthy” to do what “everyone else” is doing.

Thus, make a conscious decision on your path and find the ways to reach that goal after that. As long as you goal is spiritual, at this time; you will see how the “impossible becomes possible.”

Best wishes!

Question: Can we Conquer lust and sexual desires? (For non-BKs)

There are some readers here who do not have a BK background who are interested in topics related with “sexuality” and “celibacy.” For them, here is an explanation of the importance of celibacy to “heal” the self from a potential addiction. This article was not written with a BK audience in mind, so bear with me.. it is for non-BK souls… 🙂

It is commonly thought that sexual intercourse is “natural.” However, there has been in history different instances when birth has been attained without sexual means. Abraham had a son, Isaac who was born from his old mother and was considered as “Godly gift.” Likewise the birth of Jesus, according to Christianity was an “immaculate birth.” Same with Krishna, even though there are a couple of stories about his birth. For instance, it is believed by Christians that Christ does not have the “original sin” because of his special birth.

Are those stories possible? Maybe.

Let me ask this question:
If sex and sexuality is that “good,” why diseases, mental anguish and emotional pain go along with it? In a highly sexual society it is incredible the number of diseases that could be acquired due to “unprotected sex.” Ever wonder if taking a pill or wearing a condom is part of the “natural” make up of a sexual experience? Perhaps pornography is needed to enhance a “sweet and loving” relationship? Or how about sexual addiction or the different sexual /power games associated with a so called “natural” experience? The argument that “sex is needed because otherwise humanity will not continue” is a big fallacy. These words will not be read by “humanity” but for those who believe or have an interest in a higher way of life. Those are the ones that could practice celibacy. Humanity will continue in its “old ways” driven by economic forces and brain washing of the media.

Sexuality as practiced by human beings without spiritual maturity is a game with no winners. The issue is not the “act.” the issue is who is acting: A lustful, angry human being; (AKA “Normal person”) Therefore, the need to “heal” ourselves by observing the “withdrawal effect” of not indulging in an activity which causes addiction. This is referred as “conquering sex lust.”

To conquer something you need to understand it. This is not theoretical understanding but practically through experience of observing ourselves.

Sex is associated with death. The purpose of it is to create life. The price of creating life is death. This is dualism 101. It is the “law” of Nature. Sorry.

A pregnant woman sacrifices her own body, which will never be the same again. A man sacrifices its seed which gives him strength. A person used to masturbate will have the following characteristics: Their eyes will lose their brightness; weakness in the body will set in as the person ages, his will power will be greatly reduced and most importantly, that person is enforcing lust as a way to relate with people. Lust is a form of violence because the intention is not the well being of another person but rather to satiate a sexual impulse. Usually a lustful person is an angry person. Even though, anger is enhanced by the belief that it is “normal,” it is a vice which denotes lack of tolerance. An angry person cannot follow the path of celibacy. An angry person uses fear and negative emotions to relate with others. This cannot be “normal” for a human being who talks about “brotherhood” and “peace in the world.”

Anger produces chemical imbalances in the body which self destroy an individual. Ask any Ph.D. This is self-violence.

To conquer sex lust, anger needs to completely vanish. If a person is lustful, that person will not be able to touch another person without feeling sexual about it. The so called “attraction” sets in as long as there is lust. Without lust, tenderness sets in. Through tenderness a relationship with another human being will not be violent. When sexual energy is transformed into beautiful feelings from the heart chakra, the sense of touch and eyesight change completely. The violent rush to reach orgasm is changed into a meaningful and fulfilling relationship based on feelings.

The sense of touch is an extraordinary sense. Caresses are examples of those feelings of tenderness. Complete relaxation of the body is necessary rather than sexual tension building up. To move that energy from the second chakra to the heart and above is something that “humanity” cannot do, but those who are willing to understand the benefits of celibacy.

Because nowadays spirituality has been left aside, beauty and sensibility are no longer part of the traditional values. Lust has taken human beings even lower than animals. An animal will never have sexual needs by looking at a picture or fantasize about a sexually charged tv program. Human beings into the “virtual” world can do that. Because beauty is not understood, the major worry is to attain a “perfect body” as if everyone was the same. Beauty is thought to be physical when in fact; beauty is not something related with a body. Bodies are proportional and the conjunction of muscles with fat and a good posture will give the sense of balance but beauty resides in the heart. The quality of feelings makes a person beautiful. Someone may be good looking but not beautiful. Sex lust is related with looks and not beauty.Lust can be conquered. When it is not understood running away and closing doors is preached to avoid temptations. When it is understood, there is no need to run away from it. Just like people are afraid of a big tiger whenever it comes, someone who is willing to spend sometime with that tiger in a loving manner can become that tiger’s friend. Conquering sex lust seems like being able to caress the belly of that big tiger. Trust needs to be build up with the tiger, a sense of balance of energies needs to be developed continuously; otherwise that tiger can turn around and eat that person.