Tagged: me

The “Me” in between you and joy

Kathy has a bright future in life. She is bright, charismatic and pretty. She has all the “ingredients” that our society values for a “good” future.

Nevertheless, Kathy was sad. Her thoughts from a “bad” experience in the past were hunting her. Whenever she heard the name “Bart,” that sparked an emotional turmoil, which could change immediately her usual “happy “ self. Kathy was currently going out with another person, Ralph…. A “good guy, ” smart professional and detail oriented but used to living alone and doing his “own thing” without getting permission from no one… except his big dog, “Rufus.” 🙂

Ralph was going out with Kathy, but all of a sudden he disappeared without leaving a clue. No phone calls returned.

Kathy was disappointed. Kathy realized that everything is insecure in life, that anything could happen at any time to dismantle her wishes and expectations. That frustrated her.

Kathy felt depressed, all alone… by herself. 🙂

Kathy was Ananda’s friend. They met “fortuitously” in the market. Ananda brought Kathy with him to visit Mathias, the “wise tree.”

Ananda: Friend, Kathy has this sadness in her which will not go away. What do you suggest for her to do?
Mathias: Kathy is feeling the overwhelming weight of the “I.” That heaviness does not allow her to be light and easy. That heaviness is a strong burden separating her from being part of feeling the joy of the Totality.

Ananda: How being part of the Totality will make her happy again?

Mathias: Friend… you could explain to her how to become joyful again… That is in your experience.

Ananda: Well… There are no words to explain that. It just happened with your help.

Mathias: It is all in you. Nothing could be given to you which does not already exist in you. The words will flow, explain your experience to her.

Ananda: The “I” or the ego is like a huge column inside an empty room. Anything that happens in that empty room will have that column as a reference. If there is a toy on the floor, that toy is “3 feet away from the column.” You see? It is about the column.
If a fly enters the room, everything is OK until the fly decides to climb the column… at that point that fly must be removed… but if a butterfly is there instead of the fly, then anything must be done to keep that butterfly there…. It embellishes the sense of “Me.”
Remove that column so the room remains empty of references. That is it.

Kathy: I sort of understood your example, Ananda. But… if you remove the column the room will collapse…

Ananda: That is the illusion.

Kathy: How do you do that?

Ananda: It happens… once you are aware that there is more than “you” in life 🙂
If you go to a beach and sit by the shore, observing the Ocean; just sit there and appreciate the moment without comparison or judgment. After some time, bring a common feeling between you and Nature. It could be love, goodness, beauty, etc. Let that feeling expand out of you and then empty your whole being so there is emptiness, just like an empty room….at that point perceive anything inside you which does not fit in with your current experience in Nature, such as a feeling of anger or a recurrent bothersome thought and move that sensation out of you with your feelings… that is called “cleaning yourself” then after that, feel grateful to life and continue feeling and appreciating Nature.

Kathy: Do I have to do that 10 times a day? Is that some sort of “spiritual” exercise for me to do? You know that I am not a religious person.

Ananda: No. You can do that as you wish. It is just a way to remind you that there is more than “you.” This reminder will stick in your being like no words or self-help books could do. It is just to give yourself the opportunity to feel part of all, the Totality.
“You” are “You” but also “You” are part of everything.

The empty room usually feels affected when something enters it, but if after an experience in life that “inner” room remains empty, then you are ready for another experience…. It will be “brand new” and not the “same old thing.”
When you keep on accumulating things, then that room feels overwhelmed with stuff. That room does not have the space to “heal,” to be clean.

Kathy: Can you be more clear?

Ananda: That ego is the one that you feel that you need to protect, the one who is unsatisfied, the one who makes a “big deal” out of life experiences. It is the one who traumatizes our experiences in life when they do not go according to our wishes or likes. If our inner “column” in the empty room becomes damaged through an experience, then the mind cries out for help, for hope, for a savior… at that point you will search for such things to “numb you” from your pain… but the inner column will still be there…

The empty room is joy.

Fixed in the “truth”…

Life stages

If we were truly aware and conscious we could perceive that we are never the same, thus even though there is a “me,” in another reality there is “none” that “I” could call “me.”

That is how “emptiness” comes into “being.” Someone may affirm, “We are empty.” 🙂

What is the truth?

Are we something, no one, several … 🙂 There must be an answer, the only “true” answer someplace…

Out of that simple inner question, at least 3 religions could be born…if not more… 🙂

Why is this?
Simply because we have our minds fixed that the “truth” is some concept. Something that we could write and worship. Something that we could speak and “convert others.”

We could die believing and fighting for any of those concepts. Our life could be full of fights but none of those concepts can “give us anything.”
Nothing at all.

Nevertheless, the history of the world is full of fights due mostly to ingrained conceptual living. Due to a belief about something that we call “truth” and that we are willing to die for it.
Others may call “my belief” as greed. Others may call it something else.

We may believe that to be firm with our beliefs no matter what, is synonymous with “greatness.” An example for “others” to follow.
My statue will be placed somewhere when I die so people can “remember” me. I am such an example! 🙂

A society will push their ideas and ideals as traditions. In other words, “this is the way we do things around here.” That “way” becomes another “truth” to worship and to praise.

Avyakt7 is not saying that those things are “bad.” Avyakt7 is merely pointing out how something becomes a “truth” to believe in.
Beliefs are not “bad.” They are just beliefs.

Do you believe in Santa Claus?
Does he truly exist?

Meaningless questions.

Because it just depends in your state of consciousness to “see” something or not. A child is not less intelligent than an adult. He just has a different consciousness.

Have you taken your picture with Santa? Have you received gifts from Santa?
Heck, I was even Santa at one point in my career to cater to my little cousin’s beliefs. Of course, after he saw such as skinny Santa who did not have the traditional deep “Ho, Ho, Ho!” voice who happen to look like his cousin… He may have been a bit disappointed until he saw the gifts I brought… He said to me after I took the Santa apparel off: “You were Santa.”
Then I emphatically said “No!!.”
what do you think, did i lie to him? 🙂
If you understood the first paragraph in the article, rigorously, I did not. In the common mainstream, collective consciousness.. I did lie…and for that I should be “punished.”
However… I saved his belief… 🙂
He had this look in his face that showed some doubt in his assessment…
Uff!! I thought in relief… his belief is intact. He got gifts after all… and that is the main focus of the Santa deal…
However, it is my understanding that this belief vanished from his mind as years went by…

What is so important about this belief?
Ask any parent who have kids in the Santa age group. To receive a gift from your own parents is not big deal. But a gift from a magical figure who is thinking about you and who feels that you are a great kid…That is something!

Do you believe that “Avyakt7” exists? 🙂
Who among you know Avyakt7?
No one. Not even “me.” 🙂
But some may believe that they truly know Avyakt7.
See? 🙂
Now the million dollar question: Is avyakt7 for “real”? 🙂

I want someone like ME

someone like me

A Spiritual aware individual will take the opportunity to experience a relationship as a way to know himself.

Life is a relationship. That relationship could be viewed in different ways, as plentiful as the people on Earth. Only our beliefs will put an end to that diversity.

When a relationship is taken to the personal level, the opportunity to see those unknown “issues” in us popping out like hot pop corn, is there.

Unfortunately, for most it is not about seeing ourselves through the reflection of others, but is the game on how to change someone else, how to manipulate someone else to fit our standards; that is how to make someone an extension of “me.”

“I want someone who has the same qualities as me…how lucky they are!”

The game is about becoming like the other. Whoever is dominant, wins.

This game creates expectations, which will backfire the “players.” Those expectations are translated into feeling hurt, feeling deceived, feeling betrayed.

As long as our emotional health depends on another to give our life some sort of meaning, we cannot be free to enjoy life. There cannot be enjoyment but dependency.

It is the game of the “master and slave.” The pleasure of the master resides on the existence of a slave. A slave, wishing to be free, will suffer until he gets out completely from the claws of the master. Wishing, longing to be free is just part of the game of still being a slave. Part of the emotional drama, which makes some individuals alive…even when experiencing suffering.

A relationship of that kind could be labeled as “love.” But it is far from that. It is called a symbiosis.

Symbiosis is what many relationships are nowadays. Nothing wrong with that, for it is in “fashion…”!

Once we realize about that symbiosis, we may want to change it…. that is when “problems” start…
The expectations to demand attention, the rules, the regulations spoken or not; and the game of blaming the “other” is then played. The “winner” is the one who collects more “evidence.” 🙂

Some like flattery, praise, and adulation. They will readily take it and believe it. It is about building up an image. Nevertheless, belittlement, condemnation, insult and offense will not be far behind, the opposites are always shadowing each other.

It is fascinating to watch what comes out of us when in relationship with others. If we like what comes out, we found a trigger which has the same potential to bring rejection in us.
Like it or not, is the same thing… Please explore this sentence.

We can learn many things about ourselves by being with people who are not like us.
For the “normal” individual looking for “ another Me,” that is something unheard of.

For an aware individual, it is the golden chance to learn… and go beyond “me.”



Ananda typically walks in the morning by the Bay: The new day is fully alive; it is a delight to smell freshness all around: Dolphins swim nearby, all sorts of birds arrive for “early breakfast,” and the Sun shines its warmth equally among every living being.

Ananda realized in that walk, that the clearer his mind is from thoughts about himself, greater enjoyment will be experienced.

Ananda also experienced, that whatever the heart desires, the mind will make it happen…. Even if it is not “real.” It is all about those thoughts shaping the reality to fulfill unconscious wishes.

Playing with those thoughts about the reality of “me,” is called self-absorption.

When we reach that stage of consciousness, we see life only in relationship with our perceived “Me.”
If “I” have a problem, nothing going on outside will matter unless that which “I” see outside “myself,” helps “me.”

For example, if someone “falls in love,” and there is no correspondence as she wishes to happen; the ego will be hurt. That pain will be expressed through continuous thoughts about the same thing, for something has to be done to change that. Even though, life changes as we move in time, the thoughts from the past and future will be there hunting that person down, until “something” happens which is interpreted as “beneficial.” Then a “new story” is built by the mind.

Someone in that state of being cannot appreciate anything. That self –absorption does not allow for life to continue on, but it stops in the wall of the “Me.” For most, that is a very strong wall.

“I am hurt, thus the world does not matter.”

That is extreme self-absorption.

Ananda was smiling at the runners by the Bay, saying “hello” to them. But, a “hello” back to him seldom happened.

Most of them weren’t “real runners,” for running, as running in itself wasn’t enjoyed. It was about losing weight, getting a “workout,” etc. Anything but enjoying that running, enjoying that activity of moving one foot in front of the other through a graceful jump… all by itself.

You could see it in their faces. All hooked up to their devices, phones, radios, etc. To be in another reality until the “workout is over.” 🙂

In self absorption, the beauty of Nature is of no consequence when all it matters is to “lose weight” and “ to look good” as if there was a “judge” waiting to judge the “results.”

In self-absorption, enjoyment is an unknown long lasting experience. It is all about results, all about “getting there and make it happen.” Never mind the “process.”

When someone is self absorbed, to “do “ and to “have” are important as long as they enhance the sense of “me.”

My family is important as an extension of me.
My car is important as a perceived status of me.
My body is important as an image of me.
Exercise is important as a tool to reshape me.
God is important, as long as He helps me.
Meditation is important to feel good about me.

My thoughts about “me” will not allow “me” to appreciate “Me.”

In that state of consciousness, it is very difficult to experience oneness, for “Me” only sees separation.

When the capacity for enjoyment of life is gone; when feeling gratitude for being awake everyday is gone; when all there is in life is to “take care of me,” through the “same old thing,” when the only joy remaining is to “purchase” new things or to taste “new things,” at that point there is a need to change, for that self absorption will literally kill you.

That “me” is truly your worst nightmare. Wake up to save yourself…

Observing the inner drama of the mind


Ananda was wondering about the words of Mathias; the wise tree, about getting rid of the “Me.”
In theory it sounds good, but how do you do that practically?
By simply not being attached to anything we think or perceive. Simple but not so. Paradox. 🙂

Ananda had the ritual of watching the waters of the bay every morning. Ananda does not feel compelled to do this as “mandatory,” but it is a natural fulfilling experience for him, as if he was seeing a friend.

When Ananda observed the waters of the bay without emitting any judgment in his mind, something occurred: Some sort of understanding appeared by just looking at the world of the Ocean and their participants: The seagulls flying, the fish swimming in formations just like the birds, the dolphins arriving from afar to be seen, the wind blowing and the sunshine reflecting on the waters of the bay, which created a calming sound when hitting smoothly the walls of the bay. All of that made a symphony, harmonious music with the theme of celebrating a new day.

Ananda was getting ready to go for a trip far away to a land filled with buildings, cement and noise, also known as “progress.”

Ananda knew that his morning ritual of “self purification” will be stopped for a while. He had developed love for Nature, specially the Ocean.
Then a thought arrived. He thought: “I will really miss you.”
Ananda was working on observing his mind, thus; Ananda caught that little phrase when he was about to build the “feely” emotion of “I miss you.”

Ananda realized that he was comparing. Anada realized that he was anticipating the future based on his experience of the past. He was attached to the thought of “having the waters of the bay,” in his mind.

From there, everything was about the game of comparing: the new place versus the old one. The likes and dislikes, the “how miserable I feel now and I wish things were like they used to be.” All of that, is plain rejection of what is.

Ananda realized that whenever he compared, he will be choosing one thing rather than another. That choice meant his automatic emotional dependency on something. That “me” selecting things to depend on which by nature are transitory.

As Ananda discovered these things while observing his mind, deeper emotions came up.

Ananda thought of that moment when he fell deeply in love with some one. That person did not reciprocate his feelings; but that experience didn’t allow Ananda to “move on” in life. Every woman that he met from that point on, was compared against a fictional “blueprint” of perfection, an emotion which depicted perfection and no woman could be closer to that.

Ananda was trapped in that emotional drama, which truly showed him the issues of being trapped in idealism and daydreaming, on playing your own movie in your mind.

Ananda then remembered the time that a dog bit him. His ego made a trauma out of that experience and his mind confabulated to create fear every time Ananda was close to a dog.
“All dogs are like that. Don’t get near to them,” advised the “little voice” inside his mind, the “Me.”

Ananda perceived how accumulating psychological information in his mind, which is known as memory; was the cause of not living the now, for those experiences had greater value than the current present.

Ananda realized that this memory of an experience in life, became permanent every time his ego felt hurt, neglected, lacking respect; that is every time an experience came below “his” expectations.

Ananda realized that the source of all of that was this center who he called “I.” That center is psychological, it doesn’t exist but his mind make that “center” alive. That center even has his own little voice talking to Ananda all the time, to prove its existence.

Finally, it “clicked for Ananda,” when he remembered what Mathias; the wise tree, mentioned about being empty and getting rid of the “me.”

There is “pure” observation without comments, that is, the “Me,” is not there. It is like a 3 year old baby looking at the environment attentively, learning new things. People would infer that these babies are “thinking,” but that is not there yet. As a matter of fact, most of our thinking comes out of learning our language, then the concept of “me” is learned very well and from that “separation” arrives.
It is just conceptual separation made real in our mind.

Religions and philosophies have used different methods to deal with the mind. One of them is to busy the mind. Remember this or that instead. Fantasize with this or that, keep the mind busy. That is a method relying on something else to keep that peace “of mind.”

Nevertheless, to observe our own mind without being the observer is a step further, a step beyond dependencies. It is the art of figuring things out for yourself and by yourself.

You become your own teacher.

Mind the business of your own mind


Pic by Vvrisor

Ananda had a supernatural experience. After meditating , he felt in complete bliss. Obviously, Ananda believed in the meditation practices and in the teacher who taught him about this type of meditation.
Ananda became a believer.

Ananda had a deep sense of commitment and started following every direction from his new appointed Guru.
Ananda wanted to “become better.” Ananda wanted to be enlightened with wisdom and to become another Guru just like his master.

Ananda made all sorts of “effort” to get that same experience of bliss that he had experienced sometime ago.
Nothing happened.
Ananda’s expectations to get that “out of the world” experience increased, but at the same time; he experienced the frustration of not “getting it.”
Ananda made all sorts of “efforts.” He changed his life style completely. He wanted to be better, so he avoided people who were not in his path.
Ananda rejected the world and wanted to spend time meditating and to experience that bliss again…
Nothing happened.

Ananda was truly disappointed with his Guru. What was wrong? He was doing everything and nothing would happen!
Ananda decided to change his Guru. Ananda bought books on Spirituality, bought CDs, Ananda attended to several seminars run by the “experts,” in “enlightenment,” he even traveled to the holiest places on Earth to get “better.”
Nothing happened.

Ananda developed an obsession out of his spirituality. He developed a great ego as well and sarcastic irony when he heard others speaking about their own spiritual paths and experiences.

Ananda gave up. He was truly tired of all the rituals and reading materials which “promised” him to become “better.”

Ananda couldn’t sleep. He went outside and sat by a tree. Thoughts started coming into his mind about all the “effort” that he had done. All the time that he had wasted for nothing! His memory brought the episode when he got into this blissful state and he started to recall every moment of it. Ananda wanted to experience that moment one more time, it was so exquisite, so out of this world, so blissful… Ananda started to cry in distress. All his knowledge about his spiritual teachings were in vain, he thought.

Ananda wanted answers and no one was able to give those to him. Ananda felt like a failure.
Meanwhile, Mathias, the “wise tree,” was a witness of all of this.

Mathias spoke to Ananda.
“Friend, why are you crying?”
Ananda replied: “ I am a failure. I wanted to become enlightened with bliss and I cannot.”
Mathias replied: “Really? Who wants to become enlightened?”
Ananda looked at Mathias bothered that he had to say the same thing again. “ I said , Me.” Replied Ananda.
Mathias answered: “ Then, get rid of “me” and there will not be a failure.”
Ananda said: “Are you crazy? Do you want me to kill myself?”
Mathias replied: “ not friend, just your mind. “Me” is in your mind.”
Ananda didn’t realize in all his years of “effort” that his own mind was in continuous upheaval. Always striving for something. If the issue wasn’t how to get a better job or a better something, then it was “to be better.” To become enlightened, angelic, Godly, pure, powerful, etc, etc. If he didn’t reach “his” objective, the frustration and sorrow set in.

Ananda, thought about it for a second and asked: “How do I do that?”

Mathias replied:
“By becoming aware of your mind. Sit there, stop thinking, experience what you are besides that mind. If you hear words inside , that is your mind. Observe how your senses experience something and then an idea is created in your mind based on the memory of previous experiences. See how you are incapable of observing and listening to others and to yourself without putting an idea and “making sense of it.” Observe, how your mind is constantly taking you from one place into another. If you hear a song and you recognize it with your memory; that song will take you to a daydream. You may call that “to remember is to live again,” but become aware that all of that is the past and it is dead.

That experience may take you to a happy end or a sorrowful end, therefore; your emotions are slaves of your own mind.
Similarly, your “becoming better” is to be anxious about the future, which is not real. Your mind is taking you to the past and to the future, but cannot be still in the present.

Become acquainted on that timeless serenity, that which you are besides the mind and then other experiences may arrive. To spend your time observing the works of your mind is to become free from it.

That bliss may arrive again… but this time without “you” wanting it. That is how things arrive on time, when “Me” is not there, completely out of the picture. No failure, means no success.
Duality free. That is the greatest success.” 🙂

“ME and OTHERS:” The greatest illusion


When we have the knowledge of the Drama, which is the subtle movement of the current of life from seemingly opposite but complementary polarities, we could appreciate roles enacted by beings; that is us; human beings.

That inner “being,” is known with many names: soul, spirit, atma, living force. Choose your religion, you will find a label.

That “subtle energy of life,” is not divided in many pieces. It is One. However, because it is expressed through many beings; it gives the appearance that it is embodied in many beings. In other words, our bodies give that energy the appearance of individuality, which is further expressed by a personality.

That is how the illusion becomes a reality.

Nevertheless, according to our consciousness; we could see “division” or “unity.” It is the reality of One which perceived as many.

When we look at another human being, we are capable of distinguishing a different body, a personality and ways of behavior. We call that the “other.”

There is a division. “Me” is born out of that perception of being different.

However, in the Drama of life; we can understand; that pre-ordained roles are enacted through human beings. A Personality is a role and so is the behavior.

Therefore, we could even go further and say: “A human being is not the body.” That human being is not the personality or behavior either.

And we conclude, that a human being is really a metaphysical being, a soul. 🙂

However, this conceptual idea will give us the same perception as with the body; that is “I am a different soul than you.”

Please see the fallacy of this. All I am doing is transferring beliefs, concepts from a body to something, which I conceptualize as a soul. Just changing words.
Still ego remains for there is separation.

The concept of “ME and OTHER” or “I and YOU,” are just dualistic concepts.

THE SOUL IS BEYOND DUALITY. That is why there is Oneness.
THE SOUL IS BEYOND TIME. That is why, it is eternal.

Therefore, any dualistic concept which we could pretend to dress up as soul consciousness is inherently flawed.

Male and female. Duality. If we perceive that, we are not in soul consciousness.
Me and Other. Duality. If we perceive that, we are not in soul consciousness.

Please note that to know a CONCEPT is not the same as experiencing the thing.

Male and female are concepts. The experience of male and female energies brings the natural state of complementary energies; that is unity; but any concept of separation is part of the conceptual mind, the ego.

“There is a soul in a female body with a distinguished personality.” That description is part of the role. Still we have not reached the “being,” the soul or the spirit.

The moment that we perceive that being, that soul while we are in that same consciousness; then at that moment; there cannot be separation. There cannot be individuality; for paradoxically, even we could perceive ourselves as individual souls; for a soul there is no such a thing as “individuality” for that brings duality and then, the experience of soul consciousness will be lost.

A soul is beyond duality.

When we realize this convoluted “reasoning,” (not logic) what could be the “reasonable” behavior then?

Appreciation of the unique role performed through every soul… and love from soul to soul.
Love from the soul, the heart and appreciation of the unique part.

If you are doing that already, the forget about this writing. Throw it away. No need to figure it out.

Here is the simple example to illustrate the above.

I “do” something to “other.” There is a return from that doing to “me.”

If what I do, comes back to “me,” then where is the “other”? 🙂

That is the “illusion.”

If I truly see others as “souls,” how can I say that , they are different than “me”?

How can “I” do something for “them”? 🙂 How can “i” help them? 🙂

However, when we talk, when we express through language, we need to use those concepts.

If we get caught up in concepts we will miss the “boat” of self realization.

If we self realize, we realize the “other” as well.. then, we could appreciate his/her unique “performance” in life.