Tagged: Nature
Beyond fight or flight: Acceptance
When we perceive danger or a situation which brings a feeling of uneasiness, we could stay and fight. We need to “win,” we need to conquer the “enemy,” etc. On the other hand, if that situation is perceived as unsurmountable, then we need to “save face,” that is “flight.”
Our conditioning is heavily influenced by dualities: win-lose, fight-flight. This is the first aspect to observe, when making sense of our behavior. Why is that important? Because we are caught in a box of 2 possibilities, when there are many.
One of the heaviest conditioning there is in our society, is related with this duality of perceiving Life as the inner working of a computer: On-OFF, 0-1. In general, we see Life from this binary format. Duality. No wonder “our creation,” the classical computer works in the same way. We may need to switch our awareness to something like a “Quantum Computer,” where there could be more than just one choice, many possibilities.
Spirituality sees that ACCEPTANCE of “what is,” is indeed another way to meet Life.
This is not surrendering or an offshoot of “flying,” by slowly walking off like a dog who has been nagged by his owner. Acceptance is to be flexible in the moment to meet Life as it appears.
For example, every Tuesday I may eat spaghetti religiously. One Tuesday I ran out of it and couldn’t purchase it. Yes, I could eat something else instead, but that is not the type of acceptance that I am talking about.
Acceptance is to look with some sort of excitement at the opportunity for something different, that is the arrival of newness. Acceptance is an attitude of gratefulness for the new experience.
The above is something difficult to see when we are only caught up in our own stories, our own images that we want to protect.
For instance, Life sends a pandemia. The story is not just about human beings. Nature has the rare opportunity to rebuild itself. Caught up in our own stories in self-absorption, we cannot see the whole picture. So what Nature has to do with “me”? Nature is where WE live, what we breathe, Life itself.
The human story commonly shared is about lost jobs, lost lives, lost income, lost markets, lost GDP, and so forth. We do not see the unity of all. We do not perceive when we divide ourselves from everything else, that we create a duality between “us” and “them;” therefore, the survival of “them” depends on the extermination of “us.” We cannot see a sane balance of “us” and “them,” for our minds haven’t been conditioned to harmonize but to ‘win,’ to ‘conquer,’ to follow the “survival of the fittest” idea when paradoxically, the weakest of us are being killed through a virus (There is an element of human responsibility in every pandemia) and we want to protect them. Let us not go into the “morality” of that perspective. Let us see the facts. Animals, plants, the environment are the “weakest links, “younger brothers” compared to humans but the same moral direction to protect is not there, but to exploit.
Acceptance. That is the opportunity to end the stories of despair and anguish and look forward to newness, the opportunities.
There are different levels or interpretations of acceptance, but a deep acceptance will bring as a result what is known as a “detached observer.”
What Life “throws at us” is for our own inner development; thus, we may need to sharpen our ability to Observe, so we could assimilate Life experiences with acceptance rather than bitterness and opposition.
“We” cannot ‘win’ over Life. We are Life itself.
To be a witness is all there is
Witness of Life. When we have the time to sit down and observe how Life moves, we may discover that it is completely unpredictable. It is in that realization, how we could come to terms with those past experiences which we made a trauma of, still lingering our subconscious. We cannot “prepare” for something unpredictable, but we can learn to accept what comes our way.
Like many, I have experienced very low times in my life. But those times went away, like everything else does in an unpredictable fashion. I am still here. I cannot predict how long it will be, thus; it makes sense to enjoy what “IS” for it will change.
Waves in the Ocean of “problems” come in different shapes and sizes. It is obvious. Expected. Making a trauma about a fact of Life will take away our ability to enjoy it and rather fear, will be in its place.
What to do? Learn to surf thoses waves. Learn to dive and come out alright on the other side. Most live in despair when they see one wave coming their way. What is required is a change in attitude. It is not enough to learn to survive, when enjoyment is the spice of Life.
Many times losing now, is winning in the long run. Death is not the end but the beginning. We are tourists in Life. We could try to control the route of the “bus of Life” which is taking us to different places, but then we will never relax and be open to experience different scenery. Destiny is the driver. The “bus” may have a flat tire or an engine failure and we could be stranded. That is part of the adventure. No matter how hard we try to control, we cannot. Everyone has to taste ups and downs.
Life experiences are valuable for we can understand anyone going through the same ones. That is how empathy appears, then compassion.
Compassion doesn’t appear because we “must put ourselves in someone’s shoes.” That is only an intellectual exercise. Compassion appears when we have experienced the experience with a particular feeling (we know what it is,) and become a witness of that. In other words, there is no emotionality, a trauma inside.
A fully digested experience, will definetely help a person to become “better” in Life, that is open to Life by trusting their destiny.
Ups and downs are a fact of Life. Then; we could understand that pain and pleasure are two sides of the same coin, and to attach ourselves to one side, will only bring the other side closer… and it will not be welcomed when it arrives. It will be a traumatic experience.
Many “spirtual” people have decided not to experience pleasure, so they don’t experience pain. That “theory” only works on paper. That is to rob ourselves from experiencing Life. That sort of repression brings its own traumas. At the end, it is not by avoiding how we “solve” Life “problems,” but by assimilating the complete experience.
We are in the world of duality. We have signed up to go through this tour and experience it.
We could have our own beliefs which could bring us comfort and make us feel good in hard times; but as we grow up in consciousness, we could be able to see “what is” and learn to focus on that which is ‘good’ and unique of every situation, even though the rest may appear as ‘bad.’
What is “good” about the current state of events in the world, we may wonder? Nature has the unprecedented chance to rebuild itself. That is great news for our future.
Every Life experience is needed as it is. We are here not to “change the world” or to “make a difference.” Those are childish beliefs to pamper a self-centered ego. We are here to witness.
A witness or a detached observer, begins by “fixing” his own traumas in Life.
There is no way that we could enjoy watching a TV program when we have preconceived notions on how the program should be, when we want to judge every scene and qualify it as “good or bad.” We are only wasting our precious time.
When we leave the heavy burden of trying to control life, so it can fit our expectations, needs and wants; a witness is born.
That one is ready to fully enjoy the experience of Life, for Life is meant to be enjoyed.
Changing the mental programming
In Life, duality is always present. Not as opposites of each other, but as necessary complements. When we view Life through concepts, we see 2 different energies: We see Life and Death as different, opposites. That is the vision taught through centuries of conditioning. That is how we view politics, society and religions. It is only A or B. Choose one. Fight against the other to preserve your “choice.” The way we are taught in society to perceive Life is through that. Observe it.
When we begin to understand duality from another perspective, we perceive only ONE energy which changes, alters by diminishing its original quality. What is night but the continuous absence of light? What is cowardice but the continuous absence of bravery? And bravery? The continuous absence of cowardice.
Words cannot fully explain duality, but through our own observation of Nature, we will understand. Nature, Life has always been the teacher.
Death goes hand in hand with Life. In Nature what we label as “killing” is also to preserve, to live.
What makes the difference with the killing going on among human beings?
Intention.
Only each of us knows our intention behind an action.
Humans strive to live harmoniously with Nature, but they cannot for their intentions are driven by “reasons,” the conditioned mind, labeled as “choice.” A true intention is the manifestation of who we ARE not what we THINK. There is a huge difference.
Animals free in the “wild,” act without “reason,” without a conditioned mind. We could label that way “instinctual” or “predestined” or even a “gutsy feeling” or use any other label.
The point is that wild animals live harmoniously in Nature.
In Nature, killing is out of necessity to eat in order to survive. For humans, killing have different “reasons” created by an egotistical mind. It is the sick mind, over-trained mind, creating “problems” that we hope to resolve by using that same kind of mind. That is insanity.
Life is like a mirror reflecting who we ARE, but also a boomerang sending back that which we have generated.
Why?
We are individuals but at the same time a Totality. To act in the world is to DO that to ourselves. The hand feeding the tummy is also feeding itself; for without a body there cannot be a living hand.
Hand, tummy, liver, heart, lungs are all individual organs, but nothing without the Totality of the body.
Animals sense that, most humans do not.
From the above “justice” is already in Life.
Individuals conditioned by the teachings in society believe that the above is only a “spiritual holistic view,” some utopia which is unable to “solve” the real problems in society.
How is it possible for the World to be filled with Justice already, if there is killing and wrong doing everywhere? It is white against black, woman against man, country against country, religion against religion, Humans against Nature… We need to organize and DO something!
That is how revolutionary sociopolitical IDEAS are born under many labels. Each one with a different dream of what “justice” means, driven by the same conditioned mind.
Those idealists believe that “teaching” can change everything. But if the teacher is born out of the same mental conditioning of society, how is he going to teach others? Undoubtedly, he will pass on the same conditioning.
When the mind unlearns that which it has been taught to learn.
When the heart opens up because it is no longer afraid to maintain the false security of having things, or the need of being somebody and doing great things to be remembered…
Out of that mental “programming,” there is a new Life.
Gradual change is the law
In Nature, we can observe a variety of flowers: Colors, shapes, sizes, etc.
We could observe new born buds, full grown flowers and the ones decaying. Life will allow us to see the full range of experiences as an observer.
Is a decaying flower worse off than a new born bud?
Observe the range. Every flower will go through that range of experiences.
We say: “Young and old.” That distinction, that duality is a seed for suffering, for a traumatic experience when we imbibe conditionings beyond the label.
Labels allow us to make distinctions. When we give to a label certain value as in good/bad, right/wrong; we will create a trauma.
Life will show us the full range at any given time. Today, “you” may be the representative for young. Tomorrow, it is certain that “you” will represent old. What is the trauma? To identify with a particular, transient state. We cannot fully observe when we identify ourselves with something. We are biased.
To live on Earth; means to experience duality at every step. Our “choice,” our attachment to one side of a duality creates the trauma in Life. That trauma will not allow us to evolve for fear arrives.
Fear brings a mentality of continuous fight to live, a mind conditioned to compete for ideals, or an obsession to maintain something unchanged.
To enjoy Life with that conditioning, with that program; is impossible.
Gradual change in Life is the law. Humans do not respect that. We want for things to change “now.” The consequence is violence. What happens when violence increases? Look around you.
The static mind took over the driving seat
To be in balance, to harmonize is a more mature way of living than just doing what we think is “right.”
Nature is in balance. That is the way Life moves. Every energy has a reason to be, it has a mission to fulfill.
Our conditioning does not allow us to see that. The mentality of conquering and rejecting what is perceived to be “wrong,” “bad,” “impure,” etc. is prevalent. We are trapped in dualities.
Isn’t Summer the opposite of Winter? Between those 2 apparent opposites, lies a range of experiences, which we label as Spring and Fall. Labels are there so we can understand through language, what we are referring to. A concept is “static” thus, it is not “real,” for Life is movement. Our minds like static things for they bring identity. “I” am static. “I” can be defined. “I” am separate from Life.
In Nature, nothing remains the same. Thus, to constantly harmonize with changes is very important to be in balance with the Totality.
“Harmony” cannot be put into a commandment. Cannot be put into a “You shall not DO this or that.” That is the ethical loophole.
“Static” things, ideals and ideas create illusionary comfort. We were taught to make sense of Life based on human conditioning.That is our yardstick for “truth.”
We do not breath. Breathing happens to us. We do not digest our meals. That happens to us. Our heart beats without our will to do it. Thoughts come and go through our minds like a swarm of mosquitoes… without OUR control. We ask, where is the source powering ME, making all of that happen?
That “ME” is messing up the question. Observe that “ME” is not separated from everything else. The distinction of ME is only intellectual, practical, to fit into our human made world and language. At what point in our Life cycle, is there a static ME? The mind has a “static” picture, it has memories to hide the “reality” of change. There is no “Me,” but when there is, then there is death.
Death is “bad.” Humans continually lose the “battle” with it. Then someone says: “Death is natural. If you live, you will die.” Very clever. Logical, sound premise. However, most humans will not accept it. Their consciousness is not there.
Why?
There is a huge experience of a “ME.” It is undeniable even though, we try to cover it with intellectual stuff or religious “afterlife insurance.” (a.k.a “salvation.”)
That consciousness will bring certain experiences: Fear, anxiety, stress, guilt…
Trapped in our conditioning, we dream into “getting” a different consciousness.
We want to make sense of Life by following ideas of our systems and methodologies which support the understanding of a conditioned mind.
Life is not meant so we can “make sense” out of it. That is intellectual, that is our conditioning. Life is meant to be lived, experienced. That experience cannot be shared as a “truth” to follow, as a “standard” for all, so we dismiss it. We want our conditioning, what we think is “right.”
To try to find the “purpose of Life” will show us that our mind has taken over the “driver seat.”
But…there is no need for a driver. 🙂
Deconditioning is the only “spirituality.”
What is in our minds is mostly conditioning. Learned behaviors, laws, morality, traditions, etc.
It is that conditioning which is the main obstacle for openness, surrendering, no-I.
Ego, the “I,” thrives in conditioning. It feels safe. That is the comfort of the known. Unchallenged, we behave just like robots: According to the software installed in us. A society or a religious group relies on conditioning for the behavior of followers will be predictable.
This predictability is desirable to live in groups, societies. Control is geared to this end: Predictability.
If you are unpredictable, you become a menace to society.
How predictable is the weather? How predictable are acts of god?
Nature is unpredictable that is why it is feared.
Modern man has been conditioned to live in his own bubble of concrete, noise and technology. It is called safety. Nature is out, thus; to decondition someone, Nature should be “in.” That is the first step for humans, are part of Nature.
The whole idea of “spirituality” has been distorted to fit predictability. Become wise like some spiritual entity who can give talks but does not live Life like humans, practice some commandments or some “namas and niyamas,” without ever realizing if “I AM” those or “I am DOING” those. There is a huge difference.
Be nice, loving, compassionate, etc. Those are the teachings.
Why?
Because most Humans are not that, but they must behave like that. Nice, Loving and compassionate are concepts to practice, defined by lengthy words. We must fit into the definitions.
Inherent goodness in a person is found in the process of deconditioning, but it is thought and sold that further conditioning will make the trick.
Have you seen a salesman interacting with a potential customer?
The smile is fake. The interest in your needs is fake. The nice and charming ways are fake. Why?
There is an interest, a goal. Sales.
Every religion that has a goal for a follower such as heaven, paradise, god or any other lofty objective has an inherent interest, just like a salesman. However, religions (like salesmen) have a place in society, they have a reason to be: They change our conditioning into another type of conditioning, which we then call “truth,” true love, true morality, etc. That is to differentiate it from the one morality and love which are not “true.”
Here is my statement: Spiritual teachings are not needed to flourish in Life but Deconditioning is necessary to live a happy meaningful life. Before someone invents a “method” or “technique” and puts a catchy label for the masses such as “the True Tantra of Deconditioning,” let me say this, deconditioning cannot be taught. It has to be realized, we need to dissolve our luggage of emotional traumas. Deconditioning is not an idea to be understood, a concept to be practiced.
For lack of deconditioning; methods, techniques, steps are used to obtain something artificial which looks like the ideal, the objective in our minds.
Before trying to become some “spiritual” ideal, it is very important to know who you are for “You” are underneath the layers of conditioning.
In the knowledge of the self, freedom is not gained by fighting, but by giving up. Deconditioning is another word to describe that process. 🙂
Decondition to experience fullness in Life.
Historically, the emphasis of religions, moralists, philosophies and psychologists; have been to correct human beings from all flaws, sins, degraded ways, etc. in order for him to fit in as a “normal” individual in society or a particular system.
Basically, Man is sick and needs to become well again. So, here are the steps to regain health…. Some will put god as the medicine, others “good actions,” others will emphasize sacrifice for mankind, others will call for “love,” as the savior and others… will believe in the power of researched therapy.
The analytical mind will search for those things which are believed to be incorrect, deviant, aberrant, etc. and will pursue the avoidance of those things at all costs. That is the practical medicine, the approach.
Fear is the key factor to make that “change” for there are penalties in this Life and the afterlife for indulging in such “sins.”
When moralists hear about Jesus, Gautama Buddha, Mahavira or the story of any self-realized individual, the aim to copy them appears.
Jesus was labeled as being “indigent;” therefore, that means that “spiritual people” cannot be rich. Buddha was labeled as “vegetarian” (although there is a discussion on this within followers) thus, to eat meat became a sin…The list went on thanks to the interpretation of the dualistic “black or white” mind of followers and moralists who lacked the experience of a self-realized individual.
Through a “black or white” approach it is easy to figure out what is “good” and what is “bad.” There is an “imaginary line” separating those two. This simple “imaginary” approach became the moral standard in society.
DOING became the way for man to “change” their “evil” ways.
DO what is “right” even though it is the opposite of who you ARE, for you must fit into the ideal. Repress yourself. Sacrifice yourself for some ideal or for some god. That is the way to reform yourself. Call it “Love” to make it pretty and acceptable.
Even though the above is appealing to the masses, it denotes lack of awareness.
If you are rich, and become poor just because Jesus was labeled as poor; what you are DOING is increasing your ego. The façade of making yourself poor from wealthy, has the emotional bitterness of having “lost” many things along with the pride and hope of getting way more stuff in heaven, while believing that this ACTION will gain you respect from those who cannot DO that feat. The mind comes up with self-serving wild stuff sometimes, I wonder if we are aware of that? 🙂
Jesus wasn’t “poor.” He always had what he needed. Is that “poor”? We just judge and label according to our conditioned standards. BEING deconditioned from the need to possess things, creates the “poor” image among conditioned individuals.
Buddha wasn’t vegetarian. He wasn’t for vegetables and avoiding/rejecting meat . He did not make the “effort” to become vegetarian.
If Buddha ever said: “I am vegetarian” that wouldn’t be a Buddha speaking; but followers will insist on following what they perceived to be “right”, even though is not natural for them. It is “effort,” it is “hard,” then to “practice” that becomes the source of ego, for there is something to set people apart, to show others who is spiritual, divine, worthy of heaven, rather than a simple, mundane human being. Another ego trip. It is about “proving yourself” of your worthiness.
To copy or follow someone does not bring AWARENESS, it brings forth a human being who is not able to acknowledge who he is and thus, to have the capacity to love himself.
The “keyword” nowadays is to Decondition. It is a fashionable word! Spirituality at this time, is about deconditioning. If our conditioning is all we know and we want to “become better” as an extension of our conditioning, that is a mirage, although it sells lots of “spiritual” books.
How do we start?
By living closer to Nature. (It is free of charge!) There may not be many self-realized beings who haven’t spent lots of time in Nature as part of their own deconditioning process from “normal” society.
Let me explain the “benefits” through “Office world” terminology: That will demote the position of the mind as the CEO of ourselves. The mind will be just another salaried employee in the “I” company. That step is a big “company merger.” By going through this process, the way we look at Life will be totally different. We will not be “normal” anymore nor “subnormal”, the mind will not be there to “scheme” political moves against itself.
We could be “abnormal” just along the line of other “abnormal” beings like Jesus, Buddha, etc. Perhaps we could be unknown, without followers, without “teachings” to share but nevertheless, full of Life. 🙂
Exploring the Depth of Living 