What do you tell someone who is suffering emotional pain?
Someone may be pleading for a way out of her insurmountable pain.
Pain has the characteristic of making someone focus, concentrate, or unwillingly give its full attention to suffering.
As pain increases, so is the strong desire to be spared of pain.
For most, that is the first episode in their lives; when vulnerability is felt. The “I” is incapable of escaping at will. There could be amelioration of physical pain through medicine, but emotional pain can only be postponed: We could become drunk to numb ourselves; but that pain will return; the complications will increase and hope of being “better” as time passes by, could be the only comfort at sight.
Yes, everything passes by. As it came, it will go away.
Have you ever experienced a broken relationship?
The death of a loving relative?
A deep disappointment in Life?
The pounding feeling, the relentless revival of the experience, the endless taste of guilt mixed with despair, anguish…
All of that will pass. It will go away.
The size of your “I” will decide how long that experience stays.
Many times, we make yet another trauma of those painful experiences, but I assure you; those are not there to feed the “Poor I, Poor me,” pose, which only adds ego.
Those are there, to show you what your “I” is made of. Be aware of that, for nothing else will be able to make you aware of what you are made of.
See it. Acknowledge it. Accept it.
Instead, we defend “ourselves,” we create a story where “I” need to save face despite what Life is showing me.
The “I” don’t want to see that, arrives… but in time it will open her eyes.
Life experiences are able to change someone. Nothing else will do.
When suffering is there, you may wish that you did not exist, just so the “I” could run away from the pain.
Many times we have been able to do that, but there are other times; when it is impossible.
Want to try suicide, perhaps?
That only postpones and amplifies the experience of pain. As long as the “I” escapes, there cannot be change, and Life… is change.
It is in that impossibility where the “I” will die, to be someone else.
Newness comes after death of the “I.” It has always been like that. 🙂
The “I” cannot fix Life, neither self…but the “I” can fix things and do things.”
Once a person learns a concept, and “buys it,” then that concept becomes an investment to protect, to treasure.
“Separation is bad. This world is the way it is because there is separation, animosity, fights, quarrels, etc. We need unity to bring peace in the world.”
The above phrase is a politician’s talk. It is the magic of empty words. Use certain keywords such as: Life, Freedom, Democracy and some method to support those “values,” to have the acceptance of the “majority.”
The other day I heard a politician trying to explain to the public, how 2 commercially competing neighbor countries, could “complement” each other. If 2 people compete against each other, there cannot be a possibility to complement each other, so is with nations for they are the extension of individuals.
The “power” of appeal over depth of understanding.
Through concepts, through thinking, through believing totally in the accuracy and truth of our own minds, we create space for self-righteousness and because of that, we are biased towards anything that goes against our “investment.”
Nevertheless, Life will teach us the lesson. Whenever there is a belief that someone is “great,” that is the exact path to diminish that one as small, minor, modest. It is just a matter of time.
Observe how your “high” at one point due to something, will become your “low” at another time, when that something is gone.
Then the advice for “others” will be: “Stay away from that.” There is no understanding of a process.
Every experience is meant to show us who we ARE as the sky reflects a cloudy afternoon in a tranquil Ocean.
The clouds are not the problem between you and the Sun. The problem is that we are incapable to enjoy the clouds…
All clouds move, they go on, never static… Once they are all gone, then we could discover that we “miss” the clouds for we realize that the Sun is too bright, too hot… suffering sets in.
“SO… What do you want me to do if “I” am burning?”
Jump into the Ocean. Don’t think too much.
Labeling separation as “bad” is not a solution. Separation does not require a solution for it is not a problem to be “fix.”
It is merely a state of being. Once that state reaches its fullness, it will change itself through a Life process of dissolution. Merely observe how Life brings the perfect setting when we are ready.
“That does not make sense. I want to help the world to be united. I want to help people who are in need, I want to make a difference and not just sit there and watch…Go with the flow…”
Then, allow for that “I” to be dissolved. Otherwise, any activity that you “do” will be tinted with egotism. Do you want change “now,” right?
If you force that to happen because it is your goal, you will be acting with violence as you will not be respecting the natural process of Life.
Please see this: If something is currently “left,” it will move to the “right.” It has its own timing to be natural. If you force that because you feel sorry, because you want change in your Life time, etc. Violence will be executed unavoidably. There are consequences for that.
“So it is better not to act, then…”
An action coming from the unity of the heart, mind and soul and expressed through the body is a wholesome action. That is a “pure” action. Typically our actions are fragmented not wholesome. There is a difference.
Would you like to spend your Life thinking about solutions, thinking about ways to bring “good” to this world by fixing it “now”?
That attitude only shows the strength of your “I.”
Life does not need of an “I” to “help it” improve.
Separation brings unity and unity will bring separation. Duality 101.
Dance the tune, move with the song, it is not about “fixing” the music, changing the song; but to learn to enjoy and appreciate “what is,” for it will change for sure.
Note: I came upon this blog: http://lonerwolf.com/ I was fascinated to find “newness” there. FYI.
When we perceive that there is no “self,” then we could appreciate things from a different consciousness.
“No-Self” is not a belief. We have experienced that change throughout our lives. That which we think we are is merely a mental idea, which we cling to despite the evidence that our bodies, minds and consciousness are not the same.
If we want to possess an instant in our lives and have a picture in our minds of that individual who has been, then we will suffer in the attempt to stop the unstoppable.
We are never the same and to stop that through a belief becomes the obstacle to experience something different.
Our society is attached to this mental idea of self.
Psychology depends on it as well as religions.
It is the “self” who is punished, saved, rewarded, etc. It is the “self” wanting to exist unchanged despite change.
It is obvious then, that in the realization of no-self, the concept of “others” becomes antiquated.
Helping “others” is only an ego driven task at that point. Hard to swallow, when we have been indoctrinated otherwise.
Notice that this is not intellectual understanding. A Ph.D. is not required to understand this.
We need to experience it.
As mentioned before, consciousness changes by itself, so change is guaranteed as long as “we” allow it to naturally happen.
To be able to acknowledge that change, to embrace it without being attached to the “old” ways, is a “test” in our ability to empty our minds.
An empty mind has the capacity to understand new things. A mind full of information is an obstacle to perceive “newness.”
That mind full of information, can only understand if something “makes sense” according to its previous indoctrination/information/teaching/ belief.
That information which at one point was helpful to realize things, becomes the obstacle for newness later on.
A reader requested an article on “newness.” That is a great topic to get involved with. At the same time, the “thought” for today was “nothingness,” which unexpectedly brought an unusual realization.
There is newness as long as we are nothing. 🙂
The word “nothingness” is usually not well understood in a culture when being “something” is taught and believed.
A 3 year old baby is “nothing.” There is no conceptual idea of himself in him. There is no comparison going on; thus all experiences are “new.”
Serious, genuine spirituality is there to take away all those things which makes us believe that we are “something.”
Being “nothing,” is taught by spiritual teachers with different words.
For example when a spiritual teacher talks about “merging with God,” there is no way that “I” with all its content (something-ness) can merge with God. But, if “I” is nothing, in that there is already that “merging with God.”
That is why a “child is more elevated than a “mahatma”,” because a child is closer to God’s nature.
As we grow up, we forget to be “nothing.” Then ego (something-ness) appears out of that growth. Then, that “nothingness” creates a personality full with “something-ness.”
“I” am a doctor. “I” have 3 cars a house with a Jacuzzi in a very selective neighborhood, a beautiful wife a dog and 4 kittens ;” or the ego of having “nothing,” as in: ”I” only possess a set of clothes and my bowl to beg for food. “I” don’t have anything.
See how that pristine “nothingness” disappears by creating “something” to be, an individual.
The same happens when in relationship with “others.” If “I” am a movie star, then everyone around me will make me believe that “I” am “special.” If “I” am in a work setting when no one cares for my input, then “I” believe that “I” am not worthy.
As long as there is some sort of psychological content, in “me;” there could never be the experience of “newness.”
Because everything “I” perceive will be tinted from that perspective of being “something.” Everything will start from the vision of the “same old thing.” 🙂
That is how we believe to be of a particular “social status.” According to that belief, we will put an environment around us. That environment is not real, it does not exist but only in our minds.
We have created a society under those premises of being “something.” Being “something” allows for division to take place, segmentation based on a particular characteristic:
Skin color, accent, religious beliefs, handicaps, education, sexual orientation, age, etc.
Please see that the “ideal” of a young, wise, loving, saint millionaire who looks like a movie star; does not exist; however, our ideal drives our behavior and “efforts” to “be” that.
That is the insanity of being “something.”
Newness is always in being nothing. When “I” am nothing; then “I” could be merged with that changing world as a baby does; there is always “newness” for a baby. There is no baby who is “bored to death” of the same old thing.
Boredom appears when “something” (a personality) arises with their own expectations and desires.
Being “nothing” is sometimes referred to as being empty; that is “empty” of content, which brings usefulness to “everything,” the world.
“Thirty spokes share the wheel’s hub;
It is the center hole that makes it useful.
Shape clay into a vessel;
It is the space within that makes it useful.
Cut doors and windows for a room;
It is the holes which make it useful.
Therefore profit comes from what is there;
Usefulness from what is not there.”
Tao Te Ching CH 11
“The highest truth cannot be put into words. Therefore the greatest teacher has nothing to say. He simply gives himself in service, and never worries.”
“Knowing nothing, you will be aware of everything. Remember: because clarity and enlightenment are within your own nature, they are regained without moving an inch.”
“To manage your mind, know that there is nothing, and then relinquish all attachment to the nothingness.”
Hua Hu Ching verses.
Spirituality is not ritualistic. Newness is not in “doing” but in “being.”
Being Nothing. 🙂
As I was walking with my father in our way to a store, we were waiting to cross the street and a beeping sound was heard. It was the sound that some trucks have built in to alarm people who could be behind them.
My father curiously asked: “What is that noise?” That was something “new” for him. He didn’t hear that before.
I told him with the “knowledge” of my mind: “That is the noise of a truck backing up letting you know that it is dangerous to be behind it.”
My father recognized just the word “truck” out of my “brainy” explanation and began to look at the truck with wonder.
I looked at his eyes, and what I saw was “innocence,” an honest sense of wonder as if that was the first time he had seen a truck.
I interrupted his “day dreaming” (from my perspective) to quickly cross the street, for it was clear.
I was thinking, “What is the big deal about a truck backing up with some built in noise?” However, what I still remember is the look on his eyes. I have not seen that look in any grown up for many, many years now. It is as if the sense of wonder and “newness” is gone.
Our minds are trained to think that “to know” is to have a verbal explanation. That training compels us to live in “theory” mode.
There is a truck like many others I have seen. There is a noise coming from it, which I could qualify as “disturbing,” so then, I can make my own interpretation on that experience., which I could pass onto another person. It is no longer a truck with a sound, but a “disturbing noise.” That last statement which comes out of my “own biased experience,” then becomes the “crux” of another debate as to what is a noise? And what is a sound? And if trucks like that one should be allowed to be on the street…Then, We could invite “experts” in the matter who could illustrate their points with their latest “research” and how what they call “normal” becomes the rule of the “masses,” that is what the majority expresses.
The point here is that we have stopped looking for the first time, that is without building a case of further ideas, further explanations, further interpretations which are drying up our sense of awe, our sense of wonder and innocence.
Similarly, that is the case in Spirituality and the experience of the Divine.
Our minds will not allow us to open up to the “unknown,” because we already have some “knowledge,” we already have read everything about it, and expect for things to happen according to those books written by experts. We will show the statistics, the latest research which proves how “nonsensical” a Spiritual experience is or worse yet, “your” spiritual experience. 🙂
Thus, the “law” of innocence, of looking at things with a “fresh” view, is to throw away everything that we think we know. The mind will not allow us to enjoy any experience in its fullest as long as we have explanations and theories. In short, the experience of living will be gone for our “mental” state resides in words and words… are not living.
Words such as: “I love so much”… 🙂 Good, now show that without words. Make your living, which is being, be that so there is no need to say it.
Anyone could say anything. It is easy. How many fall into that trap? If words were money, we could more careful about “spending” them.
The sense of appreciation of life is a marvelous feeling. That appreciation brings something in common with “others” to what otherwise would be about looking just for differences, for those things which we are not alike.
When appreciation is gone, there is no communion with life and everything that exists. In fact, listening to someone could be done only when there is appreciation for that presence as it is.
That is the innocence that a child has. When that mind becomes “clogged up” with theories, reasoning and explanations; that innocence is lost. The “same old thing” arrives and with that a sense of boredom appears along the search for something “new” and “exciting” in life.
Thinking has its place. In reality, it is a small place in the realm of things; however, our society is worshiping thinking to the extreme. That is creating a society where living is no longer “feeling,” we no longer feel life and acknowledge its newness, that is we are not open to wonder, but just to explain things based on previous experiences which have been made as explanations.
That is how when a dog bites us, we create a “drama,” a “ All dogs are bad,” closing our range of experiences with the perceived safety of a “bad” experience or when we say “I don’t believe in love,” automatically, we have closed the door for further “newness,” ignoring that as “we are” so our experiences. We never see the self but always others.
Innocence requires that openness for newness, by throwing all our preconceptions on the waste basket of delusions.
Thank you for your question!
That is what BapDada refers to:” Change your vision, to change your attitude.” “See the “good” in things.”
When we churn Gyan, we can realize that we are dealing with experiences which are necessary. That necessity takes away the urgency to put things into convenient containers of “good and bad.” Without those containers there is no sense of guilt, fear or a need to feel defensive about things.Then we learn to become “detached observers,” that is not to be a “movie critic,” but just an observer, like a child looks at a “new toy” with that innocence, enthusiasm and smile of “newness.” In that stage there is no experience of “duality” anymore, then we could experience “karmateet” for our karmic accounts are no longer pulling us, but we are “beyond.” May you have that experience!