Self-discovery is not a method. It is a process of unfolding what is “there,” to the point where “that” is no longer there.
What is left?
Nothing. At that instant, we are everything.
How long does it take?
As long as it is needed. The game is to go from one extreme of the range of experiences into the other, just to come back again.
The minute we acknowledge suffering, injustice, death and pain, that is the instant that we will look for “solutions.” A seeker is born, full of “I.”
The “I” will look for “salvation.” The “I” is aware of its own pettiness and will seek out for a savior. That is the beginning of “paths for salvation.”
Let us believe in a God. Let us worship Him. Let us seek His favors. Let us be the “chosen” ones.
There is no better way to enhance the worth of that “I.”
If you are a rebel, if you don’t want to believe in a savior, then you will believe in yourself.
Again, the same trap of the “I.” Destiny is solely in “my” hands, “I” make choices, “I” want to become better, “I” want, desire, need… My Life is about fulfilling those needs/wants/whims, etc.
Let me worship with others, sing “halleluiah” and read the holy books about my savior. “I am” safe.
Perhaps at some time in our path, we may want to stop believing about someone or myself and engaging our awareness into that which we call the “I.” That is a different consciousness.
At that point, beliefs are of no use. Rather than looking for the savior, there is a need to “know myself.”
Seekers who are experiencing this stage, will usually talk about “the world being a mirror of the self,” everything goes back to “me.” Every event happens so I can know myself, etc. It is a “Me” world.
That is the time for healing emotions, discarding beliefs, separating from the world, just to come back to it.
As we discover many things about the self, we will get stuck into the emotions of pain, guilt, shame, cowardice, anger, lust, attachment, etc. believing that this is “me” and wanting to let those emotions go away… then, we may be ready to explore another state of consciousness…
Then perhaps, we could experience that this “I” is not a static thing. It is changing. Thus, an emotion felt is not “me” but it was “me” at one point in time. The attachment to a perception of what “I” think is true, right, reality, perfection, moral, etc. is not allowing the static “image” of that “I,” what “I” believe to be myself, to move on.
Everyone of us, is not who we think we are… however, we hold on to the idea, the mental paradigm which gives Life to the “same old thing” under all circumstances.
Perhaps at this point, we could discover that this “I” is like a rainbow. It only becomes visible to us according to some circumstances even though it is the same light of the day in a different package, but we think that it is only “real after the rain” and then it disappears, it dies, it goes away… but the rainbow is always there…
If we could understand this mystery of the rainbow, at least intellectually; we could perceive the mystery of the “I.”
It is there, Yes. But at the same time, it does not exist. When our consciousness is taken away from the rainbow, what is left?
Everything… the whole day and light including that rainbow which is there although we cannot see it.
Where God could be then, when there is no “I”? Where is the healing of the “I” if there is no “I”? Where is “spirituality” when there is no “I”?
Everything has a new meaning. New words with new meanings. At that instant we are Oneness. We are the Totality… when we are everything, what is lacking then?
When the “I” becomes “Nothing,” we lack nothing for we are everything. That is a “full circle.” The search and the seeker are over, gone… Nothing. 🙂
Consciousness allows someone to perceive things in a particular way. According to that consciousness, we could have a limited understanding. To see things under a different perspective means to have the openness to accept newness. Honesty means to acknowledge our new perception despite a belief, a teaching, and a dogma.
Fear arrives through dishonesty.
Ahnanda is not concerned about denying or proving the existence of God or the Devil. Ahnanda is only concerned about finding his own beliefs. Rest assured, that this sharing is based on my own experience.
I have searched for God. I have found God. I have forgotten myself.
I found myself, then I found no-self and with that I found that all there is… is God. Although, many labels could be used to name it.
Do you want me to elaborate on that? It is for you to find out. It will be misunderstood for those who have not gone through the full experience.
“God created the Universe.”
Didn’t he create the Devil as well?
“NO. God has given us free will to choose.”
Really? Why is the Devil “wrong” then, isn’t he following his free will?
“Because he is against God.”
Is it “free will” as long as we do not go against God? That is not free will but manipulation. Isn’t that a devilish trait?
God and the Devil depend on each other to survive.
Believers are needed.
“But, I had an experience with God himself. I felt floating in bliss and with such love that it had to be God giving me this experience. It cannot be the Devil.”
The issue is not the experience of something extraordinary in our lives. The issue is the label that we have used to describe that.
“That must be God.”
The concept, the definition is added into that experience and through that a belief.
Let me “rephrase” your consciousness:
“I am unique. God has chosen me. Someone else’s experience is not the “true” one for I know God and they don’t.”
The clothes of Santa Claus do not make the one wearing it, as the “true” Santa. You have to believe in Santa, for that concept to exist. We make that concept alive.
Different people wear the Santa Claus’s clothing. Common agreement makes that clothing “special.”
“Knowing God” is meant to enhance the ego of the one who claims that. In my experience, it truly doesn’t matter if you “know God.”
Know yourself to find no-self. That matters to you and to me. Not to God or the Devil.
“God did not create the Universe. Everything already existed. “
If God did not create the Universe, why do we call him God then?
“Because, he is the Supreme.”
Isn’t that a belief based on the concept that God has to be the supreme? Aren’t we building up concepts upon concepts to make an ideal?
Because we have 2 different explanations of God; Is it possible for God to create the Universe and not to create the Universe at the same time?
“Well… One belief is right and the other is wrong.”
I suppose yours is “right,” correct? At the end, it is about “you.”
Beliefs are neither right nor wrong. They are just beliefs.
Accept a belief and your perception will be in one way.
Do not accept it and your perception will be in a different way.
Acknowledge the belief and let it go, and your perception will be yet in a different way.
What difference does it make to know who created the Universe?
What difference does it make to have intellectual answers to believe in?
Lost in the intellect, the mind, we forget the heart. That heart which is not meant to love “God alone,” but to love without restrictions.
Truly want to know what love is?
It is inversely proportional to the size of the “I.” That is the extent of your love. Love is being it.
How do you like that “definition”? 🙂
“What is your relationship with God?”
Until I find no-self, there cannot possibly be a relationship. I can call God my father, my lover, my everything… Those are just labels, ideals based on “ME.” Find no-self and the perception will be different.
A change in consciousness is not related with beliefs and intellectual answers.
Those things are meant to change behavior only, to make us believe that “we are transforming ourselves.”
The self, the “I” cannot transform itself. Every action or thought directed towards self-transformation will only follow an ideal, a learned belief.
For change to be “real” it has to be natural. Not manipulated in any way through the beliefs of the “I.”
When we step outside the boundaries of a belief system meant to delimit our consciousness and to keep us safe within the limits of our society’s collective beliefs, at that point we can explore, we could observe and be an active participant of Life.
“But… If I step away from my belief of a God; who will save “me” and protect “me” and take care of “me” in this Life of uncertainties, and in “my” next Life in the future… Who will be there for “me”?
That is not the question that a grown up could ask before leaving his parents’ home to move in a place by himself. That is a question that a kid could ask. The kid looks for that certainty, he calls “protection.”
Who will be there for you?
Freedom from a belief, freedom from ideals, freedom to experience life.
To be free was the dream of the slave. The dream of the one who wanted to express but couldn’t, the dream of the one who wanted to live and not just breathe.
For the one who is caught up with beliefs and ideals, for the one who breathes fear in every inhalation and repression in every exhalation, for that one freedom is meaningful, holy and necessary to enjoy life.
Freedom from the known, is for the one who is ready. It is a waste for the one who is not.
There is no way to explain into intellectual “knowing,” about “no-self.”
Words cannot convey that.
In “spirituality” this lack of “experience” was mitigated when the students/seekers where allowed to live with the master/guru, etc. so they could observe the teacher in his activities.
The aim was for the student to be “impregnated” with the subtlety of vibrations, energy from the teacher, for that experience of “no-self” to happen little by little, gradually, in a subtle way.
In time, those teachings changed. It was about “copying” what the master said and the way he acted. Following words and deeds was the aim and the standard of “truth” and “righteousness.”
That is how today, we observe that “spirituality” is another subject like history or math. The student is “taught” information which he is supposed to make it “practical” in life.
That will not happen, for a change of consciousness does not occur with intellectual information, no matter how “well explained” something is. Explanations are just pointers not to be taken literally, for life is unexpected, ever-changing and “unmanageable.”
Intellectual knowledge, to “know” is of no use in living life with joy when what matters is to “be.”
If we observe a child, we could begin to understand “no-self.”
If we observe animals in the wild, there is “no-self” as well.
Animals in captivity have the tendency to “pick up” some sort of personality from their “masters.”
“Self” appears when the notion of complete separation is born. Then, that personality will be strengthened by the different experiences in life which will be observed in a biased way, from the perspective of a “center” looking at things and experiencing those things, the “I.”
Cultural traditions, beliefs with their corresponding emotions and the indoctrination coming from the world of the “Office,” religions, philosophies, etc. will shape up that personality, which paradoxically believes to enjoy “free will.”
The awareness of all of the above, will “inspire” some to react, to be against something, to “fight against.” That awareness is trapped in the rejection of their own experiences.
To be against something is the easiest way to live life caged in a jail of emotions. The way to get out is to “accept” the experience and to move on. That “rejected experience” is without a doubt, the trigger of awareness, which allowed someone to become aware, conscious of another “reality.” It is a necessary part of an individual path in life.
When there is “no-self” this “liberation” happens immediately, because in that state to live “in the moment” is “what is,” just like a bird, a child, an ant, etc.
“Self” is not evil. Self is another type of experience. The “office world” requires “self.” Our society requires “self,” but when we want to integrate life and to “know” directly without e-books, Google and Wikipedia; then we need “no-self” to be one; to be in union, to be total… in the Totality.
Self and no-self are together. Not knowing/experiencing “no-self” means to seek, to become a “spiritual seeker” and to start looking for a purpose in life.
The “purpose” may be hidden in no-self.
Could we perceive that consciousness keeps on changing without our “doing” something?
Could we perceive that “goodness” is not a definition but a state of consciousness when the Universe, life flows through us in different ways and at different times and the “I” allows it to happen?
Could we perceive that even though the body transforms and the physical manifestation ceases to be, consciousness remains and will manifest again in a different form?
We are the same Ocean of consciousness manifested in different ways and into different beings according to the plot in life.
That plot could be described as the plot of oneness, which is perceived as many.
Expansion and contraction. One to many. Yin and Yang.
Are these “concepts” opposite or complementary?
They are both and none of them at the same time. All according to our own perception.
The eternal game of immortality is the game we play.
We don’t perceive the little changes in between but the contrast.
Day changes into night. Many could understand that. This is the contrast. But to be able to perceive the different changes of the morning into the afternoon requires an aware individual. Many are oblivious to that.
Most minds dwell in that contrast. The “black or white” mentality.
What is the obstacle in being aware?
The strong perception of self.
It doesn’t matter how many books or religious talks we hear. It does not matter if we have external practices to “purify” ourselves. None of that matters although it is part of the path that some individuals have to go through in life to realize the self. To go out of the self just to come back to it.
Self-realization could be paradoxically, no self.
In the meantime, the game of life goes on. Some may want for a God to protect them, to make them feel especial and loved. Some may look for that in human beings. Others may look for some other type of fulfillment from “others.” Once life provides that, the search continues on… the “self” is not satisfied.
The duality of the “self” and “others” is very strong.
No self. Empty. Pristine. Innocent. Wonder. Joy.
The dynamics of love, resides in the art of enjoyment.
In a moment when we feel rested and fully awake; If we sit down with our spine straight and with our head relaxed, eyes semi-closed as if we were aiming to look at the tip of our nose but still seeing straight ahead…then we breathe comfortably becoming aware on how our breath expands our stomach and then it automatically deflates itself… It is in the awareness of something which happens automatically, without our “doing” something; how we could understand the mystery of life for it is happening in us. The heart pumps blood automatically. The lungs breathe automatically; even while sleeping. The magic of life continuous on, without our conscious awareness.
Go deeper now. The perception of our senses is not real. The thoughts in our mind are not real, for they are based on the senses…. No thoughts, no mind, no senses, but still there is the consciousness of “something” observing, being aware of “things.”
Let us not call that consciousness “I.” It is something without a label. When we label, we think; when we think, we miss the experience of what “is.” Go into it, experience it; get acquainted with it.
That is what we need to be aware of. Now try that awareness while the noise outside and inside is going on, while the “craziness” out there is happening… Now, we are into something… 🙂
That space, that center brings its own peace and stillness.
In that awareness, there is no time, for all the outside things which bring time into our awareness are no longer part of “me.”
The timeless awareness of “I” brings a different perspective of life. A different “reality.”
This is the “exercise” to find the tranquil “Ocean of life” without ripples or waves coming and going. Here, we find the totality of all that exists in the horizon, without going away someplace to look for it.
This is to settle into the a-temporal state of being.
At that point, change; transformation of awareness happens; for when we discover more and more about ourselves, we cannot take the illusion of being “someone” anymore… that is, as long as we are aware.
Ananda was sitting by the Ocean. It was a lovely morning right after some rain. The Sun was just rising impregnating the turbulent waters with shades of multicolor beauty which Ananda truly enjoyed.
Ananda was captivated by the ripples of the Ocean: A form appeared as a wave of water, moving in the direction of the wind, then a high point, a crest will appear to gradually collapse into the Ocean once again, just so another wave could be born. Truly, dying means living again.
The above could be translated into Spirituality as a “form being born from the formless, just to be formless again when it dies.”
This means everlasting change. The play of form and the formless.
A human being is never the same at any point of his life. The illusion is to believe that a still picture of him, is him. A mind believing in pictures is a dead mind.
Ananda understood for the first time that he wasn’t the same from a second ago. Not even his consciousness. Through this realization Ananda was able to see something which he was unable to see a second ago. His consciousness has changed.
Ananda smiled in awe. He discovered that there was nothing to call “self” for everything was continually moving just like the ripples of the Ocean. Nothing is ever static…but our thoughts, the picture.
To hold on to a still picture of the Ocean is to be lost in the illusion of the self.
To observe the movie of the Ocean without that center that divides the object and the subject is to “be.”
What can you “be”?
A Detached participant of life.