If you could distance from who you think you are, you could observe the defined “I.” From that observation, that “I” at that time, will go away by itself.
The above is the basis of any sort of “spirituality” concerned with self-realization.

That distance means to observe the influence of thoughts, the influence of ideas and beliefs defining us. It is to explore our value system and to see it as it is: A common ground for interaction. This common ground has no special divinity, no higher moral standard other than what we give it. That is our conditioning.

Let me clarify the above with an example: John is sunbathing naked at a beach. The laws prohibit that, but he did it anyway. He was willing to take the consequences. Sandy arrives to the scene unknowingly as she was exploring the beach.

Could you see the interactions that could happen out of that scene?
Sandy could call the police. Sandy could scream or get upset. Sandy could walk away in fear. Sandy could pretend she didn’t see anything. Sandy could judge John as a “pervert.”
All of those behaviors are reactions coming from conditioning. If Sandy was aware, that incident could tell her a lot about who she is.

John could have reacted in many ways as well, trying to hide, defend or rationalize his action.

Nudity in public is forbidden. Is nudity “bad”? No. As long as it is in a designated area. That is the teaching, the conditioning. A religious “I” could add more to the occasion: “A God fearing person does not act in such immoral way.” The conditioning is a bit different, it is about condemning certain behaviors.
At the end of the day, it is just a man sunbathing at the beach without clothes on and a woman walking by.

The same principle applies on how we look at Life. The range of experiences is very rich.
Observe that there are many perspectives out of a single scene. We have been taught to “judge it and to choose what is right.”
We may not realize that what is “right” is only a convention.
If you could see this with depth, Life will no longer be a serious business. It will be a game.

Therefore, the systems of the mind, the conventions are ruling our lives.
Those conventions define us, to the extent that we allow for those to take over our beings.
Our sense of security is based on following those conventions.
Thereby, when someone is taken away from that “system,” a DISTANCE is created.
That distance is necessary to be AWARE.

Individuals walking the journey of Self-realization come in different shapes and forms, different backgrounds, different experiences; nevertheless; the common ground is the experience of moving from loneliness into aloneness.

Loneliness allows to create the DISTANCE by separation. That experience is miserable for the “I.” What is known, what brings security, certainty, company, comfort; all of that will go away. That is the opportunity to know “yourself,” the “I.”
Someone who is busy, who is caught up in a system, trying to become someone by accumulating power, wealth or by “helping” others in hope of a cushy afterlife; those are going towards the experience of loneliness, little by little, unknowingly, for there is so much the “I” could be enhanced before it starts to collapse.

The way out of loneliness is through aloneness. That is not a goal, something to achieve. It is a road we must go through once the avenue of loneliness is passed by.
Aloneness means integration, and that happens when that “I” opens up.

We cannot be stuck in Life unless we define ourselves. To maintain that definition may become our struggle, our goal, our objective. We could label that as “good” to “help us” but in reality; it is just a convention.

In Life, DISTANCE becomes the way to closeness, to ONENESS.
I know… it doesn’t make sense, hard to understand… That is why, it can never be a convention to follow. 🙂