What should the decisions be based on? Why confusion happens inside us? Maybe because we are not connected to ourselves? What brings clarity. Since every action has a consequence and we know that, there is a choice everywhere and in everything. What makes it a no choice, an expression of who we are ? Sometimes there are also compulsions which can drive us, how do we know that this choice is right for us? That it is a conscious decision in accordance with our inner nature and not just a compulsive action? How can we get rid of our compulsions?
Well, one answer which comes to me is observing oneself. Still, I want you to discuss more about it and throw some more light on it.
Thank you for your questions.
“What should be decisions based on?”
It depends on the game that you are playing.
If you play the game of society, your decisions should be based on the conditioning of the mind. Carefully thought out decisions, weighing the pros and cons.
If you are playing the game of Life, the above is nonsense.
You may be able to eat pretty good with the “choice” above but you may not be able to sleep well, and without sleep; you may not be able to enjoy Life.
Sleeping well is not a matter of buying a good mattress and selecting the one with most features (as society may teach you.) It is a matter of having your conscience at ease.
“Thinking” your choices may allow you to feel that you are safe, and on the “right track to success” but that is an illusion for not everyone makes it in the game of society. Too much competition, too many variables, “stuff happens” all the time.
“Why confusion happens inside us?” Because you are not AWARE of the different games to play. Thus, what brings clarity? To sit still and empty your mind of conditioned stuff.
The game of Life entails the recognition of a force “inside” which knows our path. That is not your mind. If you are not AWARE of it, let me describe it with unclear, dualistic words: We can call it the heart or even better, the gut as in a “gut feeling.” This decision is not a choice, for you are not willingly making it, but merely following your “instinct.” This “decision” is labeled in “spiritual circles” as following your dharma. It is a “choice-less choice.” This decision is not necessarily advantageous for you, if you look at it from the perspective of the game of Society, but nevertheless, it is the “right choice” if you look at it from the unlimited view of Life.
How do you know? There are no regrets. Your conscience will be at ease.
Sometimes the mind will interfere to convince you (rationalize) that your choice was made from your gut feeling. That is your challenge and task, to recognize. That is when the keyword you used “Observe yourself” could be handy.
A blind person can ask: What color is the sky? The response from someone who sees could be “blue.” However, what does “blue” mean to a blind person? Nothing. His question is theoretical, for color is something that he does not experience. Clarity is brought automatically, when is the time for that blind person to experience sight, in this Life or the ones after. If you understood the last writings, there is no experience lasting forever, they move from one side of the range of experiences into the other (sight/ blindness) Then, when is his turn to see, he will not ask “what color is the sky?” But before that, he could look for “solutions,” and that is an interesting game to play, which will expand his Life experiences. It is a win/win situation! 🙂
You are asking, “How do we know that this choice was right for us?”
That question means that you are playing the game of society. Do you want to use the rules of the game of Life in the game of society? They are different games!
If you play the game of Life, there is no choice and thus no need to become anxious about hoping to have done the “right” thing or not. If a decision is not “right” for you and this comes from your core not your mind, it is the right “decision-less decision” for the Universe… and since there is Oneness, it is the best thing for all! A win/win situation!
Let me give you a “secret” to ease your mind. Whether you use your thoughts or your gut, whether you make a “right” decision or a “wrong” one, it is still what had to happen in Life.
So put the theory aside, the anxiety of being “right” aside and relax. Unwind.
Ultimately, any path you take whether it was chosen or not, whether north or south, will take you on the way to your destination or your money back guaranteed! – (Just using Society’s terminology for the sake of understanding. )
You asked, “how can we get rid of our compulsions?”
By not trying to get rid of them but by becoming aware of them.
As mentioned before, you cannot play the game of Life with the understanding of the rules of the game of society (get rid of something you don’t like, by hoping that someone knows the “method”- That is a toy to play with in society but not in Life.)
However, you could play the game of society and play the game of Life and enjoy both at the same time… That is a great bargain indeed! But for that to take things seriously may need to be erased in your “inner” dictionary. 🙂
Harmonious movement: Take your time. Smile. Breath in. Clear your thoughts. That is it.
When you become acquainted with solitude, in that silence of being just with yourself, when the inner chattering disappears; that is the time when serenity arrives.
To maintain that state of being is a matter of becoming more and more acquainted with that solitude.
There is nothing to “do.”
Thoughts will be moving slowly, in such a way that we can perceive them passing by and to catch the dreamer, dreaming again without effort.
If we have the chance to sit by a park and just look at a tree; Is it possible to look at that scene without thinking about it? Can we stop counting the number of branches or the birds passing by? Can’t we stop thinking about anything else?
If we become acquainted with this state of consciousness of just looking, we will be able to perceive that all of that rush, all of that “being late,” all of that “having so many things to do and so little time,” all of that will vanish; because in the experience of that state of serenity there is peace, there is fulfillment.
We truly want that.
Then, this will become our priority without “effort.”
In that experience, we will automatically look for it and we will realize that there is no place to go, no belief to believe in, but just to be there, observing, feeling, smiling, moving in harmony, taking our time….
Just living life in calmness.
Early in the morning, when we wake up; we could sit, breathe in and out and acknowledge the little movie going on in our minds.
The minute we realize that “show time” is on again; that is the moment when the movie will finish. If we place our attention to that sacred moment when all inner chattering is gone; we are in a good position to discover more about ourselves.
It is in that calmness, in that serenity when our consciousness could open to experience something more.
It is in that space of solitude when deep changes occur.
Becoming acquainted with that solitude and that silence will turn little by little in a very fulfilling company.
We will no longer feel alone.
The following videos will illustrate “practical spirituality,” versus “theoretical” spiritual “skills.” 🙂 These videos are about 5 minutes each.
The topic is witnessing or being a detached observer.
Out of the many modern ‘gurus’ in existence, avyakt7 enjoys to listen to Mooji once in a while.
Mooji is not like the typical Guru surrounded with all the devotional, uppity stuff around him. To avyakt7, Mooji shows human care and with his unpretentious style is able to touch listeners with his spiritual experience. Below is a video of him (there are a couple of devotional pictures before the video itself.)
Dr. Scott Peck in this video could be the typical “lecturer theorist of Spiritual knowledge.”
This video will explain the intellectual concepts behind “peace skills.”
You “learn” skills to “love.” He is going to enumerate all the skills you need to become a loving person, a “love master.”
You will learn to work through conflicts by getting into “detach” mode but at the same time, using your peace “skills.” 🙂
You are in a detached “mode” but it is not “good” to be too detached because people will think that you don’t care, etc… His talk is a good starter point for someone who does not want to listen to the word “spiritual” but yet only believes in conceptual learning and in building “skills.” 🙂
Spirituality is not a mental game to “pretend” to be something that we are not. Detachment is not a “skill” that we learn; it is a state of consciousness which appears as we experience a different awareness based on inner inquire, solitude and harmonious living.
There are not Ph.Ds in Spirituality. There is a “reason” for that.. 🙂
The disciple looked at the Master. So calm and peaceful while he himself was so agitated, restless and confused.
He asked the Master, “What do you know that I don’t know?” And the Master simply replied, “I know nothing.”
“But you understand something that I don’t.” The Master said, “I have understood that there is nothing to understand.”
The disciple persisted, “But I see that you have reached.” In a matter of fact tone, the Master added, “Yes I have reached where I was.”
“Yet, I can see you have become extraordinary.”
Master: “No, I have become very ordinary. I only accepted things as they are.”
The disciple was frustrated now. “Master, don’t speak in riddles. Just tell me what I should do?”
Master: “You have to do nothing, just be. Just allow life to flow, don’t interfere. Rest in your beingness.”
However, the disciple was lost, and even more frustrated. His mind wanted activity while the Master kept pointing out that there is nothing to do, just rest.
Finally out of compassion, the Master suggested, “Watch your breath, watch the rising and falling of your stomach, focus on your third eye, on the bottom of your spine, chant your mantras and all that. They are basic activities to quiet the mind. When you give a tree to a monkey, the monkey goes up and down till he become tired. Then he finally rests. In that resting, insight finally awakens. ”