Tagged: onanism
Question on masturbation
“I’m in knowledge about 16years, reading murli and doing yoga everyday, of course taking pure veg which cooked myself, doing amrit vela regularly, but still cannot control the lust, will masturbate to release the pressure, I know its bad, but I just couldn’t overcome it. Please give ideas, TQ”
Dear reader,
Thank you for your honest question. The topic of masturbation has been dealt with in several writings in this blog and in the “healthy celibacy” blog as well.
First, let us not label masturbation as “good,” or “bad.” It is an action to obtain pleasure/release which comes with the loss of semen, which is raw energy capable of giving life.
Every action has a reaction. That loss will add up as the number of episodes increase and weaken you, physically, emotionally and psychologically.
The above is “normal,” in our society. Sexual energy is not known as energy but as something to give us pleasure…. Pleasure little treasure…
If you cannot “control” sexual energy obviously that energy will be stuck and will manifest somehow. By masturbating, you are merely getting rid of it, throwing it away; the key is to transform it.
That transformation happens through sensibility and openness of feelings. That is what yoga is for. Yoga is meant to develop your feelings. But is not the only way. Being in Nature and acquainted with the elements of Nature will bring that sensibility as well. As a male you need to develop your “ying” side your “female” side, that means the acceptance and discovery of that female side in you.
There is a mental component which you have not disclosed. There is something which triggers lust in you. Relate with that with feelings from the heart. Become acquainted in relating with feelings rather than thoughts.
Thinking about things, about images, about situations which bring that state of lust, need to be transformed into feelings and obviously those feelings have to be strong, “pure feelings.”
Note that we are not rejecting anything. We are not calling anything as “bad,” or “good.” Feeling guilty is a waste of time when we realize that everything is cause and effect.
We are just learning to transform the energy of lust into pure feelings from the heart, and that will happen when you have developed certain sensibility.
Feelings are the transformation needed for lust to be “controlled.”
Dear reader is your task to find the “how and what.”
Last suggestion: Allow yourself a healthy interaction with females (if that is the gender which attracts you) and learn to appreciate them and express that appreciation through feelings only. No need to talk. No need to think. No need to label anything… Just let those feelings out, let them expand, let them be you, in that way the energy of lust could be used in a more beneficial way.
Become a transformer of energies. Transform lust. Please do not reject it.
Best wishes!
Questions for June 2nd, 2013 – All about Lust
What is Lust ? How Is sex-lust different from taste-lust (wanting to eat tasty dishes) or cloth-lust (wanting to wear fashionable clothes) ?
Dear soul,
Thank you for your great question!
Lust is basically a desire to possess something for self gratification. As you realized there are many forms of lust which typically are expressed through a sense organ.
Sex lust will be expressed through sexual organs. That is the focus of it. However, there are many steps which lead into it which are part of the experience of lust. A thought, an emotion all of that will bring that desire to possess, then other sense organs will become involved in it.
A person who is overcome by sex lust is unable to express love and a nurturing touch through his/her senses without an ulterior motive. For “normal” people this is known as the way for “procreation” or sadly called “love;” but for spiritual minded people , anything that overcomes our conscious awareness is just means not to be a master of the self.
You may enjoy a delicious meal. Enjoy it to feel nurtured. If you want to continue eating just for the “taste of it,” then you are experiencing lust at the taste level. If you “crave” for a particular meal and you cannot be without it, that is lust at the taste level.
Clothes are not “lustful” in itself by our vision on them. So, the sense of the physical eyes are the main culprit. Wearing fashionable clothes is not the issue. The issue is how you feel about it or how others may perceive you (what signal you are bringing.)
A baby wearing fashionable clothes will be perceived as a cute baby for he does not have the “vibes” to be perceived otherwise. However, there may be individuals who may have a different perception based on their own “issues.”
That is the signal that we need to be aware, that we may be triggering in others.
Best wishes!
om shanti, I did the foundation course around 15 months back. Have not been a regular student though i am trying to improve myself first. Somehow celibacy is something which is evading me. Have been trying hard but somehow not able to do that. Although I agree that frequency has absolutely decreased yet have not been able to celibate completely and indulge in masturbation. Please advice.
Dear soul,
Thank you for your honest question!
Here is my list out of my own experience, hope it is helpful for you.
1) Be especially aware of the food that you eat. Be picky about it. As much as possible eat only what you cook. Being vegetarian is a must. Avoid any sort of spicy food items. Please be informed about Satvvic diet and stick to it. Drink water and juices. Don’t do coffee or any other stimulant as much as possible.
Your diet is VERY important. It is related with your mind and thus, with the way you perceive the world.
2) Because you just started this path, you will need to practice the “method of avoidance” until you get a grip of yourself. Avoid situations which may trigger sexual thoughts. Avoid having idle time where your mind could fantasize. Become busy in spiritual matters. This is where “service” at your near BK center will help you a lot.
3) Regulate your sleeping time. Sleep enough hours but be aware when “dreams” are coming. In the beginning of this, you will have lustful dreams which will lead into “wet dreams.” It is the unconscious trying to force you to change your ways. If you can avoid that by waking up early enough ( 3:30 AM ready for Amrit Vela meditation) you will be ahead of the game.
4) Develop your feelings. Feel intensely with your heart. Learn to appreciate the opposite gender with those feelings. Be around Nature as much as possible so those feelings will be developed without much effort. Enjoy a sunset. Sit by a park. Smell the roses. Watch the ocean. Write poetry. All of that will develop a sensibility in you which will be extremely helpful to conquer sexual lust.
5) Engage in regular meditation. The goal is to feel inner peace, that is to express those inner feelings. Feelings when developed are the way to conquer sexual urges. The heart chakra when developed is beyond the second chakra (sexuality.) True spirituality starts at the Heart Chakra.
6) Be patient. It may take years. However, you will see progress within the first 6 months. You are engaging yourself in something which is not “normal,” so you will require lots of Godly/ Divine help on this task. Be attuned to those Divine energies by loving God with your heart.
7) Don’t give up. You may lose a battle, but not the war. Have the courage to believe in yourself and that this can be done.
8) Read the section titled “The Awakening” By Mathias (it is a tab on this blog.) Pay attention to those pieces of advice. They are very helpful.
Best wishes!
Question: Wonderful website… the nice thing is that this one wants to remain anonymous. In the recent revised Avayakt Murli guessing its 1975 batch which was read on 10th February 2013 want your thoughts on the following “Give yourself (Kadha) severe Punishment so that you do not have to face it in the end” What could this be.. I know it depends on what your action is.. but wanted to understand what baba was trying to communicate here
Thank you for your kind words and for your question.
Dear soul,
It was explained in the “Comments” for that avyakt Murli in a very vague way. I will be ore specific now.
First, Baba’s children have different types of intellects, just as when a teacher has many types of students.
Baba’s teachings from the beginning has been geared towards the ones who do not have / do not need an intellectual grasp of Gyan.
Therefore, the simplicity in language is extreme; although, if we take that simplicity at “face value” we will run into many issues.
The idea of “self punishment,” is an extreme view. This idea has been used by Christianity as well, however in this case BapDada was bringing our attention to a particular behavior without being specific about it, in my understanding.
It appears that in the setting in 1975, some children were making “mistakes” with “purity,” and they were “OK” with it; hiding it. It appears to me through the context that onanism was going on. That is not celibacy. That is why BapDada was emphasizing to “punish yourself, to avoid further punishment.”
Best wishes!
Exploring the Depth of Living 