Tagged: personality

BEING conditioned

“Just BE who you are… Express yourself….Be all you can BE.”

Those catchy phrases, are very superficial… but good sellers… They are easy to understand or misunderstand. Either way, they sell because they are not deep. Believe in them or not, they are like palliative medicine.

BEING is not possible until the layers of conditioning are realized, observed, when we become aware of them.

Notice that I am not stating: “ Work on that conditioning, get rid of it, conquer it, reject it, dissolve it.”

If I say that, then that is material for a “best seller.”
It is unreal. For those who are not aware, to reject something, to DO something in order to “solve the problem” is the “solution.”

Peter likes to drink beer.
Peter may think that “He is BEING himself” if he overdrinks, for that is “natural” for him at that moment. Peter has heard that he “needs to be natural” and he likes that “concept.”

Peter gets drunk and after a few times of this, he becomes addicted.
What is the solution?
Stop drinking. Don’t allow yourself to be close to a bar. Consider the urge to be a temptation of the Devil.
Fight against your desire. Don’t allow the “bad guy” to win.
Those solutions are considered to be “good,” “moral” in our society. Peter may be sober now, nevertheless; the cause behind his addiction hasn’t been discovered.

Superficially speaking, we may say that “Peter is an alcoholic.” Peter may believe that “alcohol is bad,” but looking deeply, we may find a psychological trauma, which could be forgotten through over-drinking.

With greater depth, we may discover that trauma as a conditioning of the mind. Many “horrible” things could have happened to Peter, but he is unable to let those things go. Peter is stuck in the past and unable to move forward despite Life changes.

That trauma will define Peter’s ego.

Intellectually we may understand what is going on and we could offer the “solution” to Peter, but things do not work in that way in Life.

It does not matter how much third party information someone may have to resolve his inner issues. It does not matter if that person changes his thoughts. It does not matter if that person changes his behavior to pretend “improvement.” Any so called “change” coming from ego, is an escape from  the opportunity to be completely aware of “what is.”

He is still the same addictive personality in repressed mode.

BEING is not changed by reading, listening or doing things. There is nothing the ego, the “I” can DO to change BEING.
Because the ego is not real, although paradoxically is very real for most of us. It is an illusion that we have taken for granted. We have created a society and belief systems based on that illusion. When we AWAKEN that illusion dissolves.
BEING changes all the time “naturally” for we are one with Life; so the “intelligent” question may be: “Why that traumatic experience isn’t changing now?”
Because there is a grudge, a mental wall unable to move.
The solidity of Peter’s ego depends on that trauma to thrive.

For such person, to “Be himself” is to bring a past trauma into the present.

“What can I do?”
Nothing. BE AWARE of it. Let it go through you without trying to stop it or to change it into something “good.”
Let go of that conditioning.
Merely become completely aware of it, like a “detached observer, “ let a distance between what is going on and the observer, without that distance there is no AWARENESS. Let the sensation move through you.

“It sounds good, but I do not understand… Are you saying that to be lazy, to do nothing about it, is what is needed?”

No. Please stop interpreting. Just look at yourself through the examples.

Carlos eats fast. Carlos overeats because he is eating fast all the time.
Superficially, we may say: “ Learn to eat slowly.” “Take one spoon, count until 10 and then take another.” “Take this pill to slow your anxiety.” “Eat less, so if you become hungry, it is your fault for eating fast and you will deserve your punishment.”

However, if Carlos was AWARE of his eating, of his anxiety, of how tense his stomach is while eating, on how his mind takes him away from the “now” to a dream world here or in the afterlife…there is no way he could eat fast or slow. Carlos needs to eat alone for this realization to occur, that is how the conditioning is realized and BEING comes back without DOING anything.
Leave Carlos alone, by himself in his own solitude so there is no escape from himself.
That is a “natural” remedy.

Nevertheless, Carlos may dread to be alone, to be left all by himself… He may want “methods” to deal with his issue while having the “support” of others… He may want to take a pill, to get treatment, to follow some code of conduct, etc.
All of that is palliative medicine, but if Carlos is not ready for observation of his own conditioning; those things will be his tools to deal with his issue.

His time for self-realization hasn’t arrived yet.

Appreciation and preferences


By observing the variety of life, the different shades, colors, sounds, experiences, etc. We could realize that nothing could be labeled as “bad” for it has a reason to be.
That “reason” does not deal with our perceptions of what is “moral” and what is not.

The movie of life contains everything in itself. That movie has a plot and that plot is meant to self-preserve itself through changes. We are part of that plot.

Thus a sense of appreciation and gratefulness for “what is” will be naturally born.
“What is” could be tinted by the colors of our belief systems.
If I observe a snake eating a rabbit, I could observe it or I could act upon it just to change things according to my belief system or the Disney’s channel’s view… or I could feel sad or even happy.
All of those reactions have a label in our minds: Crazy, good, bad, stupid, etc.

Every person will react in a different way.

The issue is when a preference arrives.
A preference is not a choice. A preference is something like “I’ve got to have that rather than anything else.” “That thing is especial.”
Why is that?
Because there is a consciousness of “self.” A personality built.
A preference is not “bad.” A preference just shows a personality.
That preference may not flow along with the way life may flow.

“I prefer Summer time.”
It is the intensity of that preference the one that will bring the intensity of sorrow that we could feel.

“How do you feel in Winter?”

The word could have been “cold” which denotes a matter of fact sensation. To be miserable is to be unhappy, to lack joy.
We need to remember that the issue is not about the words we use but the FELLING that we experience.

Joy is not dependent in outside situations but as mentioned before, it is the consequence of being fulfilled with appreciation and gratefulness towards life.

Appreciation of “what is” develops a different “taste bud” in our life. We are no longer limited to a particular thing or dependent on that.

As life is a big circle; Summer time will arrive again. Winter is the “cause” of Summer along with the other seasons, so why not learn to appreciate Winter?

In the “black or white” world, we have been told that preferences are “bad,” desires are “bad,” etc.
“I must not have desires or preferences.”
Because the Guru/ God/ holy scripture / priest/ holy person has said so.

That is called repression. There is no need to force ourselves to adopt a behavior which is not consistent with our state of consciousness. That is “spiritual self aggression.”

To observe every change in life, to welcome those changes and to adapt accordingly is to flow with life. Every stage in our life has “uniqueness.”
Everything is unique but we distort that pristine uniqueness when we have a preference and call that “especial.”

At that point, we have set ourselves up to experience sorrow.
Life is unique. We are unique. “Especial” is a personality value, a preference that qualifies other things as “non-especial.” That is separation (duality) and with that separation, the sense of self becomes alive.

Integration means empty, to be fulfilled


Living life may be the experience of becoming one with everything that is. Living life encompasses the dance with everything. To move harmoniously under different songs played by destiny.

In life there are many dancers (seekers,) seeking different things.
Some look for riches, fame, God and even themselves… but paradoxically all of those “objects” are already present in the experience of Totality, of being life itself and not something separated, alienated and alone.

To be empty in order to be full, is yet one of the deepest paradoxes of Life.
Emptiness means to be open to life as an open door. That consciousness will give us the experience of observing and enjoying the different episodes which life could present. Nothing “good or bad” but just experiences, which arrive as consequences of our own intentions. An egotistical intention is not aware of the interdependence, inter-beingness of all.

That openness in life resides in clearing the mind from beliefs and preconceptions, that is to be “brand new” in the moment. It is not an intellectual “realization,” but the awareness of how the contents in our minds will strengthen the sense of “Me.”

Beliefs are very common. A tradition is a belief. A logical and reasonable perspective is another belief, a religious dogma is another belief, “my” own likes and dislikes, “my” own values, judgments, ideas, etc. are simple beliefs which could be dressed up with honorable words and “supporting evidence.”

“Reality” is a perspective; thus we are dealing with beliefs all the time.
The dance of life is on, and we could stop the rhythm for the sake of analysis and facts. To dance means to let go and to feel the music to move in balance.
Thinking will stop the “inner knowing,” the intuition of going with the beat of the song.

In the lack of an ample perception, resides our separation from life.

Those beliefs later will become emotions, as our innate feelings of Totality and oneness become tinted by a personality, ego. Those emotions will delineate what is acceptable, pure, pleasurable, good, godly etc. in our perception by rejecting that which is perceived as the opposite.
Then, paradoxically to embrace that which is considered “good” will strengthen our ego, our individuality for there will be a rejection of what is considered “bad.”

Our society for many centuries has embraced that duality.
Rejection is not the answer if we are aware of integration.
Let me put it in simple words:
The devil is not the opposite of god. The existence of god has created the devil under all circumstances.
A person believing that there are 2 opposite forces in the self, fighting for control may develop a schizophrenic personality.
That behavior could be labeled as “normal” in our society nowadays.

Integration means to embrace and re-direct all energetic forces in us. To do that, we need to be aware of the moment, circumstances and settings.
There is no rejection in integration, and because of that, wholesomeness could be experienced.

“Batman” embraced his fear of bats to become the “Batman.”
Every individual has a shadow. Through integration we embrace that shadow into our own light, rather than fight against it, deny it, repress it.

To integrate means to become empty in order to be everything, at every moment. It is in that consciousness of being One, when fulfillment arrives.
Darkness is part of the existence of light, not the opposite. When our darkness is integrated into light, the dance of life will continue to be experienced harmoniously in balance.

Limited by my own experiences


The “soul” or essence, cannot be viewed only as something individual for paradoxically; the Totality is in it.

If the above cannot be understood, perhaps by looking at the concept of “self-similarity” which brought about “fractal art,” then this idea could be intellectually understood.

The whole has the same “shape” as the parts.

In consciousness, “we” are the parts making up the whole.

Therefore, our consciousness of how we relate with the world is nothing but how we relate with ourselves.
“I am the world.”

This “I” has a personality in it. To go beyond that personality is to find our essence.

To deny the personality just to embrace the essence is what a “black or white” consciousness could observe.
The personality is “bad.” The essence is “good.”

However, when we understand the world through its paradoxical aspect, we cannot embrace one side of the coin and deny the other, for one side depends on the other side to be a coin.

This understanding will bring about a different consciousness.
Yes, we are the essence, but while living life, we also have a personality which could develop ego, that is isolation from the Totality which in turn will bring the effect of suffering.

That is how spirituality is not about denial. It is about integration of the 2 sides of the coin.

That essence, the soul is timeless, but when our consciousness is located in the personality, then time exists.

Does time exist?
🙂 Tell me about your consciousness and “I” will tell you an answer according to that.

A wrist watch has hands moving continually in a circle. That is life.
When the point of reference is 3 o’clock, then our consciousness will believe that it has 60 seconds to enjoy life, for after that, 3:01 will arrive, which is different from 3 o’clock.
We call that death.
Nevertheless, the hands of the watch will keep moving and even repeating the same movement, for that is the way a watch works. Just like the Universe. Life.

Who created the watch?
No one. The watch is all there is. It exists the moment we become conscious of it.

But… someone has to give power to it, for the hands to move… 😉

50 years ago, the example of the wristwatch would not have been a good example, for a battery is needed for the watch to work.
Someone created the battery… and the battery is something separate from the wristwatch.

Now, we have solar-powered watches. No battery needed. The Universe provides itself the energy which it needs to move. Movement is what exists. Nothing is idle.

This example only wants to convey that to understand and explain to others “how everything works in life” depends upon having experiences that could closely match the phenomena.
“I” am limited by my own experiences.

That is how paradoxically words which are meant to explain something or to describe something, will be limited by the experiences of the one explaining his experience.

Any spiritual teaching has the same issue.

If I didn’t know about “fractal art,” I wouldn’t be able to explain the paradoxical nature of the soul. If “fractal art” did not exist, then there couldn’t be something in my experience to convey what I would like to.
I will be limited.

When we abandon all the concepts including the ones explained above, we only need to realize about our own immortality.
That is all. However we get there, that may need to be experiential.

That is the “time” when enjoyment truly starts…
Put the ideas and concepts aside. Put the reasoning aside, and then we are left with the experience of enjoyment of what is… for however long is lasts… for that enjoyment can only last as long as our consciousness is aware of it. Paradoxically, when we forget about ourselves.

Everything resides in our state of consciousness.

No shortcuts in this path


Many individuals are looking for the “way out,” that is a different consciousness, a different way to look at life and to be able to live in joy… The catalyst for that situation is typically an increased perception of suffering.

Suffering is not “bad.” It is a limit to show us something for those who are able to see.

Nevertheless, the “ Spiritual marketing department” will take the opportunity to offer “powerful speakers with transformational answers” to fulfill that collective need for something new. For them, spirituality is about offering “cutting edge information and techniques” for the masses so “we can transform the world together.” 🙂

Seekers are looking for life answers and they get beliefs to momentarily calm their minds instead.
Seekers are looking for guidance and they are offered the opportunity to follow someone instead.
Some people want to get something from life (money, health, etc.) and they are offered “recipes” for “easy success” instead.

It does not matter if we hear a speaker who is “vibrating in the higher frequencies,” that is not needed to transform the self. Unless what we hear somehow relates with our own experience, unless we can recognize those words in ourselves.
Recognition of something that we already know.

That is why no one could teach someone else something already known. It is just recognized.

Life will offer the “tools” according to our readiness to assimilate.

Inner observation is a tool, which does not have copyrights. No one can make $ out of that. No one could offer a “recipe” for “easy success” out of that, for this inner observation is a personal journey.

There is no shortcut for the one who would like to unleash that oppressed joy already in us. No shortcuts for the one who is willing to peel off the layers of his own personality as he could do with an onion, even if that means to shed some tears in the process. No shortcuts for the one who is willing to experience whatever it takes to find out… to find himself.

In this journey, we may discover:
Emotions, which cover our joy and deny our health.
A reactive personality, which destroys a good relationship with others and the self.
A head full of beliefs, which destroys our ability to open up to life due to fear.

The journey is intimate. Words cannot convey the walking of the spiritual walker.
All is required is to be aware, awake to be able to see that the next intersection in our path is exactly the experience that we need to continue on… and walking is the task of the spiritual walker. 🙂

On Omnipresence


When we truly understand not intellectually, but deep down in our core; that everything is interrelated and this individuality concept is “real” only under a state of consciousness, but it is not truly under another; then we could start seeing that there is not a moment in time when “I” wasn’t.

We can divide the Ocean in drops of water. When that drop acquires a personality, then that drop separates from the Totality of the Ocean. “Hey. I am ME!” 🙂 then, that drop of water could still fragment his personality into many “individuals” that is when “ME, I and MYSELF” direct the show of insanity.

Once the drop of water is not aware of a personality, that drop of water will always exist as the Ocean. Not as “part of the Ocean” but as the Ocean itself.

The same is with us. We will always be. Consciousness is always there, but we manifest that consciousness in different forms and at different times with a different consciousness according to a role.
That is the journey.

There is nothing which lives in isolation. Even our own concept of God is part of that Totality, that Drama, that Universe and that God has manifested under different forms through different times to different individuals who are under a specific state of consciousness.

So is with “you” and “I.”

The issue is the personality. That is the illusion. That is what “individuality” strives to maintain.

Just imagine how a “primitive” non-educated individual could perceive the divine in the part of that Totality. That individual could say: “God is in the tree.”

An educated person residing in the consciousness of individuality will say: “How crazy! He thinks that God is a tree. I know who God is. God is so and so… I should convert that poor primitive fellow to save him.”

As time goes by, other “followers” who have not experienced another consciousness but individuality, will start worshiping a tree. For the tree is “God.” 🙂 while more educated ones, will look for a picture or an image to worship.

That follower has not idea of who God is, but through collective consciousness, the belief becomes the “reality.” It is easier to worship something and call that “divine.” Nevertheless, very few will realize that this same act of worshiping only shows that ego.

Feeling lower than someone is a sign of that ego.

At the same time, we have the “new age” movement stating: “God is everywhere. We are God. We are part of God,” etc.

As long as that “new age” person is residing in that consciousness of individuality, the above will be senseless.
Not because the statement may not be logical or reasonable or even because that may be considered “irrational,” but simply because there is no experience of another state of consciousness, for otherwise; that person will realize that by making a statement defining God, that person is not telling the accurate truth, for words are unable to define the indefinable.

That is how those who speak about a God, those who have a definition of God or a concept of God do not know God.
Moreover, those who have a concept about who they are, those do not know who they are.
Paradoxical, huh? 🙂

Do we see why words cannot convey a paradoxical “reality”?

Nevertheless, the above topic has been the favorite issue to debate and to fight among people who has never had any other consciousness but individuality. That is how religions appeared with a dogmatic “truth” to follow (God is this) as well as a world, which supports that consciousness of individuality at all costs.

“You are German. You are Black. You are Hindu.” Let us make a division. Let us make a container where we could put everyone who looks alike in the same category. “All Jewish are this…” I am different…

In the meantime, some “individuals” could despise the word “omnipresent.” They could despise the craziness of believing that “I am omnipresent and so are you.”

Those individuals have all the right to do that. Their consciousness will not allow them to see something different.
All is good. 🙂

Ananda was riding his bicycle early in the morning to see the sun appear in the horizon. You could smell that freshness in the air, that newness which starts the day… Birds were flying and gliding by the waters of the bay, as the soothing sounds of Nature were filling that day with joy…Nevertheless, people were passing by walking, looking down, serious faces, completely unaware of the beautiful setting around them. That setting could be part of them if they just allowed that to happen… but no!…their personality has acquired such a “reality” that they may need for God to save them.

Diluting Ego


Throughout these sharings, we have been seeing the importance of observing the self, that means to understand the self.

Because if we are “normal” individuals; then we could find that our “self” is fragmented. That means, we have different “selves” inside ourselves. 🙂

There is the voice of the body. The voice of the past with its own suffering. The voice of hope in the anxious future, the voice of the ego, the voice of boredom etc.

Every voice inside of us has a distinct, unique personality.

Do we recognize those voices inside us? That is what is meant by a fragmented self.

Our consciousness of individuality has taken us to the experience of a fragmented personality. Every voice will take the “lead” at different times. When that happens our personality will change accordingly.

“He does not know who I am. I will show him.”
“Why does she act in that way? She does not love me….but I love her so much… She makes me suffer.”
“I must achieve the illuminated stage. I want to be a pure, illuminated being.”
“I am tired of this. I want something different. When I move out to a different place, everything will change and I will be happy.”

The above, are examples of those inner voices. Every voice brings its own mood, its own colorful theme! 🙂

The task of any spiritual walker is to unify those fragments into something cohesive, so it can be integrated into the Totality.

In brief, that is what spirituality is all about: Integration into the Totality by diluting the ego (or any of the other “voices” inside us.)

The above is not related with “Paradise,” “salvation for all” or the “holy gospel” or some devotional practice to “purify” yourself.
This is about self observation.

We cannot “conquer ego” because there is nothing to conquer.
Who is conquering what?
The observer is being separated from that which is observed. Then, only thoughts will be in between. That separative thinking only preserves ego.

We can dilute ego, because under the light of awareness; ego cannot remain and that is the opportunity to go deeper into its understanding, for the dilution to last. Otherwise, ego will survive and grow stronger like an obstinate weed.

The dilution of ego means greater integration into the Totality. That is what the word “yoga” or “union” means. It is union with everything, not just with someone special or specific.
Yoga is the experience of Totality.

To integrate the “self” into that Totality means to go back into the formless.

Form and formless is a duality, which trap many individuals. Ego loves form, for that is a way to identify itself. The formless is frightful.

An integrated, sane, healthy human being should be capable of dwelling into those 2 kinds of consciousness (Individuality and Totality.)
There is no need to choose as to which one is “better” or which is “good” or “bad.”
The wind blows in different directions according to the need of time, and so we can.

There is a door in the room of life. Many are only located on one side of that door. That feels safe, that side brings company and comfort but not happiness. Those who dare to know what is on the other side of the door, will be the ones who know both sides. To cross that door means to leave that comfort zone and the fear of losing what we already know.
That is the complete experience.