Dealing with death and dying
There are 2 individuals that I know who are currently dealing with a loved one experiencing the “transition” period: A loved one who is about to die.
It is interesting to observe their behavior. It is different in both cases.
In one case, “Ron” is a “down to Earth “ individual. No nonsense, logical and methodical. His mother is about to die and he has lived with her for many years. They both bought a house together.
He was trying to contain his tears while speaking about this situation. His “hope” is that his mother will reunite with his father, who already passed away years ago.
Ron is just looking for words of support and encouragement in these difficult times.
Ron’s pain could be felt. Ron knows that his mother will not return. Ron knows that after some weeks, when he gets home from work, no one will be there to greet him.
It is fascinating how we call ourselves “rational” beings; in theory, as a concept; when in reality human beings are anything but rational.
Rationally we could understand that death is “normal.” It is part of living. Everyone will go through it and there is no escape from it. It is a matter of fact; yet if someone we care for, faces that time to die or even ourselves; we are not willing to accept that destiny.
So much for “rational” talk.
It doesn’t bring any comfort when “real” life “hits” us with an experience such as death of a loved one.
The only comfort that a “normal” human being has is a belief. Either the after life or even no hope at all. The “I don’t believe in anything” has an in built belief and that is the belief of the existence of “I.”
“I” have lived. “I” have enjoyed. “I” have suffered. Now, “I” have to die. That is practical life … 🙂
Nevertheless, there is more.
Why is that “I” identifying itself with experiences? How is it possible for that “I” to even go to sleep, when there is no “certainty” to wake up ever again?
The fact of life is: The more we “build” that conceptual “I” with its possessions, expectations, desires and hierarchies in the “reality” of our world , greater attachment will be experienced to those things which in our mind, we feel are important to support the “idea” of ourselves.
Life is water being poured in “our” hands. The sense of “I” makes that need to posses that water by holding tight to it, by closing the hands, hoping to grab the “water” of life. Observe how that sense of possession enters the mind. In that possession, in that attachment there is no longer enjoyment of water being poured as an experience.
Because we have separated ourselves through our minds from life itself; then fear appears.
Fear from losing “water.” Fear from not being able to enjoy “water” anymore as much as before. Fear from the “other” who can come and snatch that water from us.
At the end, we cannot stop water from passing by. The nature of water is to be transitory, in movement so it never stagnates.
It is the moment to be enjoyed to its fullest, it is the instant, which brings “newness.”
The mind just remembers the past. The mind wants “pictures” to be taken, it wants to hold onto something which is no longer there.
Perhaps one day we could recognize that actually life is living through us; although we live life. Perhaps one day we could recognize that we could be that “I” while being “nothing” at the same time. It is interesting how everything changes but the ideas that we have about ourselves.
Life exists. There is no space for death there. Only when “I” am born is when “I” need to die.
Empty yourself from that “I” to be life itself. That is the value of “emptiness;” while the value of “I” is to experience life.