Tagged: rejection
Healthy Spirituality
The word AWARENESS is not understood. It just becomes another theory to “practice” once in a while. Something like becoming your own police at particular times until this “practice” gets tiresome and our “normal” self takes over.
Perhaps a better way to convey the meaning of awareness is when we feel in balance. Health is part of that. Health is ONE but we divide it in 3 general aspects; physical, mental and emotional.
The physical aspect is the most noticeable. That is what we recognize as being “healthy.”
My friend and chiropractor Mike, discovered how detrimental a diet based on simple sugars could be. Sugar could ruin our health. He wrote a comment in the blog, the other day:
“As an observer you can help others examine how sugar is evil and the start of disease so you stay hooked sick and have to take medicines for life to support the corporate sugar and pharmacy industry.”
Today, I will take up the subject of health which is very “Spiritual.” In fact, wholesome health is the purpose of any worthwhile spirituality.
Ahnanda has discovered that in Life, rejection of something will bring consequences. We cannot understand something if we have previously rejected it.
I wouldn’t label sugar as “evil.” Sugar is sugar. It is said that Life is sweet as sugar…
When we are out of balance, we will try to compensate what we lack by overdoing something else, thus; unwillingly hurting ourselves, creating disease. We are not aware of that. Let us say that I experience anxiety or that I experience sleepless nights. Compensation could be emotionally achieved by overeating or taking higher amounts of sugar. Over time, this translates into a disease.
Eating is one of the few Life pleasures which hasn’t been condemned by our society. It is a good outlet for many. Emotionally, that is a safe way to enjoy Life, thus any restrictions to food will definitely have a bitter consequence.
“No more sugar from now on” will be a miserable experience for many. The answer is not in that extreme. However, there are exceptions: There may be many individuals who are killing themselves by the ingestion of too much sugar. For them, “no more sugar from now on” could be a Life saver. Observe how the closer we are to one extreme, we will need another extreme solution in the opposite direction to regain balance.
To enjoy Life, is a matter of living in Balance. In harmonious relationship “within” and “without.”
Health (mind, body, emotions) is definitely observable in this balance.
Our minds are usually extremist. As we become acquainted with our “gut feeling” to move in Life (rather than making “thoughtful” decisions) there will be less mind, meaning a greater “sense” of balance.
A glass of Coke may be full of sugar, but if that drink was used as a “reward” when you were a kid, that Coke acquires the importance of “emotional food” when adult; which will be helpful in some low moments in our lives. That is an example of balance.
Emotional needs are as important as physical ones. Priorities will continually change in a healthy balance. That is why they cannot be pinned as: “This is the way,” or “This is evil.”
Our minds are so used to labeling something as “good” and other things as “evil.” That extremist labeling will only reduce our ability to observe.
It is in true observation, where taking sides do not exist. We may be in one side to go to the other side.
You are informed about Sugar. Now experience it, then you will know. No need to proselytize. 🙂
Forgetting the past
A reader asked: ” I want to forget my past but I could not. What to do?”
Observe that “I want to forget my past” does not work.
It does not matter what “method” someone may want to use.
The “I” cannot forget at will just as the “I” cannot stop thinking at will.
To say to someone “forget and forgive” is completely meaningless. Nice words to say, it sounds wise, but that is as far as it goes.
It is not about trying to “forget something,” that is like trying to catch your own shadow.
It is not a matter of DOING something like drinking tequila to “forget.”
The past is gone. It will be remembered if that was a cause of trauma, which means if it wasn’t accepted as it was.
What otherwise was like a flowing river; becomes stuck in a particular place due to a trauma perceived by the “I.”
Thus, the “keyword” to emotionally understand this issue is Acceptance.
Acceptance is not a concept, a nice thought to be entertained with or some sort of “spiritual” catchphrase.
If your mind says: “That makes sense. I will accept my past.” Nothing will happen. You will still remember it. The trauma is there.
Acceptance is to take away the blockages which are not allowing the waters of the river, to flow freely.
“Taking away” the blockages means to realize the beliefs, ideals, hang ups causing the trauma.
For example, you may have experienced a hard childhood. Whatever hardship you may think that you endured, has taken you today to where you are. Do you see that?
Would you label yourself as a “failure,” a byproduct of that traumatic childhood?
Yes? That is where lack of love will begin. It begins as a rejection to ourselves. We cannot forget something which we blame to be the cause of our “failure.” That memory will be triggered over and over by different events. All we are showing in our reactions, is our own suffering.
That lack of self-love will cause our inability to have a healthy connection with another human being, where love is at stake.
No? Then, if you are not a “failure,” then ask yourself: Why that pain from the past cannot be let go, accepted as part of Life? You may have broken your finger in the past, but even if you remember the experience, it will be neutral, it will not move you a bit. You can only be emotionally moved by something from the past, if that hasn’t been accepted, assimilated, processed.
Do you see that the type of acceptance I am talking about, is not coming from the mind?
Find the rejection. That is all. Once you find it, accept it with your heart.
I found out that a very dear friend of mine, passed away yesterday. Memories of the past will be triggered. My mind could even say how unfair life is. She was so young and full of artistic zest. Whatever my mind adds as justification or explanation, is just an interpretation. To accept means to feel the event whole in its entirety, without finding a place to hide. By allowing the event to go through me, it will not be stuck in my emotions as a trauma. By not using my mind to explain and justify things based on my ideas and conditioning, it will go through me as it came. For when you are an empty door, aware of who is passing by, there is no place for a trauma to stay.
Rejection of a Life experience is the obstacle not allowing the river of Life to flow, to change. The past is only memory. Observe how you perceive it, observe your own interpretation of it and how much damage we can do to ourselves when that interpretation does not fit the ideal that we have of how Life “should be.”
Life is. Always the present, always the “now.” Embrace it, love it, move with it. 🙂
Opening through your beliefs
That which you think that shouldn’t happen or shouldn’t be or it is not right… that will happen to you.
That idea which you rejected, went against it, belittle it… you will be for it, sooner or later. Rejection is a form of attachment.
To go on one extreme of the experience, means to go into the other; equally, with the same intensity.
You may say: “ I will never do that in this Lifetime.” The guarantee is that “you” will do that in another Lifetime.
You could learn to control your Life to follow some ideals; to seclude yourself and be afraid of making mistakes… That type of Life is literally to die while alive.
Bottom line: “You” cannot control your destiny for “you” are one with it.
If you experience “cold,” you must experience “heat.”
You could label “cold” as bad, low, sin, etc. But your rejection of it, guarantees that you will experience it again.
“Heat” is good, high, pure, etc. Your pursue of it while trying to avoid “cold” is an illusion. “Cold” will be there as well, to remind you when “heat” diminishes.
Your experience of “cold” then, will be a source of guilt and shame.
The world is perfect as it is. Not because it is moral or immoral, good or bad, or any other qualifying word that we may use.
The word is perfect as it is for it will allow us to have a complete experience of all the opposites, of all the contradictions, of all the truths and lies, angels and demons, births and deaths…
That sort of richness of experiences will allow us to know, to grow, to be that insight of wisdom, when the time comes.
Life is to experience. Your destiny is not in selecting or choosing heat over cold… for you will experience both!
Thus, rather than labeling and taking sides, become completely aware of the experience, knowing that it will change, knowing that “you” will change.
Enjoy that experience, even if there is a sour strawberry in your plate.
It is just an experience. Don’t make a trauma of it. The sweet strawberry is coming up next… Don’t get attached to it… It will go away, just like the sour one… Rejection is also attachment. Just taste it, go through the complete range of experiences… become your taste buds without a mind with choices, moral problems and beliefs. Be “mind-less” to fully enjoy the moment…for that moment… is all there is.
Your happiness, peace and bliss are merely wrapping papers for the gift of Joy.
Without the gift, the wrapping papers are just … wrapping papers. 🙂
The word of God
Looking back , nothings has filled “me” with more fear than knowing that, “I” wasn’t following the “word of God.” That experience was necessary for “me” at that time. When fear needed to go away…then the “word of God,” went away as well. Thus, fear is not “bad” but necessary in our path of “learning” through experiences.
What could be the “word of God” if we understand that there are different perceptions due to different consciousness and that the “I” cannot change this consciousness?
Perhaps a different God may be needed for every type of consciousness.
What could be the “word of God,” if every word has a polarity, which will need to be discovered through experience by the one walking Life? Every truth is a half-truth, half-falsehood. Every Paradox defies logic and reason…
What could be the “word of God,” if interpretations abound and words have no way of expressing the changes of Life, time and consciousness?
Have you found God? 🙂
Great! Let me know when you have found yourself.
Oh! so you know God… Let me share this with you: You can only know yourself.
Searching and finding are part of the on-going-process, part of the journey, which will take us back to the beginning; back to that “I,” perhaps into “no-I.”
When there is “no-I,” who is there to fear? Life does not fear itself.
Less “I” is more love. Less “I” is less fear. Less “I” is more opening to Life, in that state of consciousness, what type of commandment is needed? In that state, what type of “salvation” is required?
We make “God” and naturally, the “Devil” was made as well. Duality 101.
“Is the body different than spirit?”
For some “spirit” is “good,” the ideal. The body is temptation, sin, “bad.”
The duality of body and spirit is made. The rejection is invented.
Consider this: The body and the spirit come from the same Nature, from the Totality. They are only different degrees of vibrational energy. That is all. Just like cold and heat. Different polarities.
Our selection and preference of one side of duality will sooner or later make us experience that which we reject, that which feel against, that which we have formed strong beliefs to move away from.
“Why?”
Because everything, the shadow and the light are together. Our preference of one side means our rejection to the other side of Life; we are rejecting a part of ourselves and in that rejection there is the cause, which will bring the effect to experience that which we reject.
“But… how do I deal with something, which is not desirable?”
First, forget that there is something “not desirable.”
Then, forget that there is something to reject.
Embrace through the alchemist transformation.
“What is that?”
Lead is the raw material to obtain Gold.
That which we reject is the path to experience self-transformation.
More “I” means more Lead, more raw material.
Less “I” means that there is more Gold available for all… and thus, for “you.”
“Where is God, the Devil, the spirit, the body in all of this?”
🙂 Where you believe them to be. Embrace those labels.
But if you reject them, use that raw material, that lead… to obtain “pure” Gold…
All is “good” in acceptance
At the end… it is all good…
Acceptance is a word conveying openness to Life.
Acceptance is not a practice. There is no way to “practice” it.
There is no way to define it. There is no way to know “it” until it happens to you.
Experience of it will allow you to talk about it, but whatever it is said, it is never “it.”
“Why are you “talking” about it then?”
Because there is no other way to refer to it.
You see a beggar outside asking for money.
Those “trying to be good,” will use that opportunity to feel good about themselves. They will practice a virtue such as “charity,” so they can tell others: “ I practiced charity today.” Then they will keep track of that “good action” for judgment day. There is “proof” of “good deeds.” “Salvation” is the goal. 🙂
“I did something “good.” I am working towards earning Heaven.”
The above practice is completely meaningless for those who are aware of the “I” in action.
For those who are not, the above practice has meaning. It is part of their necessary development in Life.
Therefore, all is good.
“Acceptance sounds good; but how do you deal with a violent behavior against you? What do you? Flow with it, accept it and do nothing?”
Accept yourself first and do according to what you ARE. If you do according to what you are told, you will repress who you ARE.
Whatever you “do” will have a consequence.
It was a “good” consequence? Then great.
It was a “bad” consequence? Then it is a lesson.
Therefore, “good.” 🙂
That lesson will shape your consciousness. It is an experience to learn from.
Therefore, all is good.
Repression has a limit. It could save you momentarily from “getting in trouble,” but the pressure inside will explode sooner or later, then all things which were repressed; will come out to the open and without restriction.
Who you ARE, will be known sooner or later.
It does not matter if others know or do not know about it.
You will know. Unless you are not aware.
Is not being aware “bad”?
No! Then you will get the chance to repeat the lesson again, until it is learned.
Thus, all is good.
If the lesson of inner honesty hasn’t been learned, then we will try to cover those things, which we do not like about ourselves. We could try to look “saintly,” “respectable,” etc. but any actions of the “I” to “fix ourselves” are meant to deceive ourselves, for it is a rejection of who we ARE.
This rejection will build repression again and with that we will repeat the same pattern of explosion-repression.
“But… how do I fix it, if I find something “wrong” in me?
Definitely it is not by labeling it as “bad.” It is not by changing behavior but by understanding the ramifications, the consequences of that. If playing with fire causes to burn my hand; labeling fire as “bad” will not do a thing. Telling myself that I “should never play with fire again” will only create fear in me, a rejection. Do we see that?
Acceptance of everything around us, cannot happen unless there is complete acceptance of who we ARE.
Without knowing who we ARE, there is no acceptance and because of that, no openness in consciousness.
Who we ARE is not related with a belief or a concept such as: I am a soul, I am a spirit, I am a body, I am a brain, etc.
Who we ARE is known by the observation of the type of unrehearsed, raw, “natural” activities that we perform.
If you are alone, if no one is seeing you or watching you, what will you do? How do you act?
Observe that this is not a religious belief or social agreement to act in a certain way to look “good” or to look “respectable.” To do that is to be dishonest for the one who is aware of the “I.”
For the one who is not aware of the “I,” the above practice is “good” until that individual becomes aware of the “I.”
Thus, all is good.
Life is change, and so “what is.” Whatever change that may be… it is all good. 🙂
Fear is the disease and the medicine.
Swimming naked in the Ocean was the cure, from the fear of being naked.
Fear is the demon. The saviors are not “out there” but inside that fear.
Is fear “bad”?
It is ironic how that which will help us to be free, is considered “bad” and because of that rejected.
There is no need to conquer fear. There is no “I” able to do that, for fear is not something that could be conquered.
We feel fear, we acknowledge it, we observe it, we become aware of it, fully, without hesitations and without beliefs of what it should be.
“It should be love.”
That rejection will not allow us to become aware of what is.
The same principle, which I’d like to call inner honesty, is very important to be at ease, for without acknowledging “what is” there is no way to be open to what “could be.”
In another consciousness, “spirituality” has nothing to do with spirits, nothing to do with the after life, nor with God and the Devil.
“Spirituality” is about living Life in joy, “now.”
Heaven is “now.” You are “now.”
No worship needed, no religious hierarchies, nor dogmas to believe in. It is the search for Oneness without striving for it, without doing things or practicing things to “accomplish“ that. It is a process, which already has its own destination, ready to be unfolded as the path narrows down into oblivion.
It is truly the encounter of that which we call “self” into its seldom-walked path, called “no-self.”
As we become closer to the reality of “lack of I-ness” there will be acceptance, openness, love and joy without someone, the “I,” trying to “make effort,” to “work on virtues” such as being loving, detached, tolerant, and all of those meaningless words; those ideals which are only existent in the mind of those who are filled with concepts, analysis and beliefs. A word is meaningful for them, but a definition is not the thing. It cannot be.
“Spirituality” is openness of feelings, the heart, consciousness…awareness.
It is at that point, when we could truly appreciate Nature, which is Life in its “natural” way.
As that appreciation increases, oneness with all there is, will no longer be a “concept,” but it will be truly felt, truly experienced and with that knowing, any sort of intellectual knowledge will be completely discarded as superfluous and even limiting.
The concert of Nature, the ever playing sounds of that orchestra, is an exquisite healing experience, irreplaceable, unique and beneficial for all beings.
The common good.
There is no church, temple or worship place capable of coming close to Nature’s beauty.
There is no meditation room able to bring completeness, fulfillment and peace without having a purpose in mind: The “I am meditating because I want this other thing to happen to me.”
There is no symphony of human instruments capable of bringing the spirit of “non-being” completely alive, as a gift to humanity. Nature is the perfect teacher without words.
Every bird, every element of Nature merely acts as it should, without looking into becoming the “star” of the show, or the creator of the melody. No one asks for credit.
There are no directors nor composers, no gurus or clergy to follow, no hierarchy. It is only Oneness without a name, without a title for that playing song of the “now.”
Those who are capable of observing the silent teachings of Nature, are able to follow its rhythms, pace, movements and understand that the intelligence behind it has no name; for every single species, every single being makes up everything there is.
Most humans are concerned with names, labels and limiting definitions; which do not allow an experience of what is, but just a description of what “should be” according to someone. In that world, to follow is a necessity.
When a human being learns to be in communion with “what is,” then there is no need to find anything outside himself…. Not because there is self-absorption, a “me” to feed; but because there is no-self.
Paradoxically, no-self means the capacity to be everything.
It is at that point when we could realize that there was no time when the “outside” was different than the “inside.”
We cannot be separated from Nature. That is our “nature,” the human nature. What comes after that experience cannot be manipulated. A human being needs to have the experience of a human being while being a human being.
As societies and religious groups are interested in changing man into something else, whether an angel, a saint or even a murderer and a corrupt being; the process of taking man away from mother Nature, is unavoidable.
When man loses his roots, man loses his sense of belonging. Then it is an “I” against another and the belief to be “right” will appear supported by the righteousness of Gods and Devils, which are residing in a fearful out of balance mind.
Fear will take us away from Nature. Going back to Nature is the medicine for the mind and the heart.
The Spirituality of rejecting “what is.”
The day I found that every route I took, every journey I started, every path I followed only took me away from “me”…that was the day I found that every experience I had at that time, was only taking me back to “me.”
According to time, from now on I will be sharing 3 times per week. Most likely every other day. 🙂
This sharing is meant for those who are already aware of the “I.” Not in theoretical understanding, but those who are able to perceive it everyday in Life.
If you are not, this sharing will be of no benefit for you yet. It will be just information which more likely, will be misinterpreted. That is the “fine print.”
Spirituality as we know it, deals with correction of “what is” into some ideal of what “should be.”
Become an angel, a saint, loving, tolerant, etc.
All of those ideals become the “thing” to achieve.
Every religion or philosophy have their own way to “achieve” those ideals as if those ideals could be mapped out for the masses to achieve those results.
“Do these steps and you will achieve. If you don’t achieve, that is because you are DOING something wrong.”
The interesting aspect is that for all followers that every single religion has had in time, very few even less than a handful could probably be counted as “achievers” of that ideal.
The “odds against you” have been utilized as a way to prove that “more effort is needed,” “more sacrifice is required,” “more doing is necessary.”
As a matter of fact, through my own experience I could say now, that there is no single method which is the “method.” Self-realization is not a structured path.
It is my experience that without acknowledging and being aware of “what is,” whatever belief of what “should be” in its place, in the future, is self-deception.
Let me put in another way:
Some Guru tells me that “I need to become loving.”
That is his teaching.
At that point, “I” will “DO” everything that I think of as being loving according to my experience. Notice that without “BEING” loving already, there is no way to know what is love. It is not a thought or an ideal.
Notice that being loving is not a static ideal, but an ongoing change according to circumstances and situations. Again, it is BEING. Feeling.
DOING cannot become into BEING. DOING can only change behavior. Thus, “I” will think to be “loving” because “I am DOING” things which I believe to be love.
For instance, to feed others, give hugs, smile, talk nicely, etc. Those things in the static mind have the tag of love.
As mentioned many times before, behind the action there is an intention, a feeling which will drive the quality of that action.
Love is a feeling. It has nothing to do with actions. However, an action coming from the feeling of love, it is a loving action.
Another example?
Andrea advised her friend: “Before talking with your daughter, become loving. Give lots of love to her.”
Meaning: You are not love, but “be” it for this particular time. Whatever the collective understanding of love may be, Be it.
If you are not love, you can only fake it. You can only “act” loving.
That inner dishonesty is what common spirituality is unable to solve.
What is that dishonesty?
BEING which does not align with DOING.
Do good, do this, do that but internally there is an egocentric, egomaniac, fragmented personality which is unable to feel what love is, because there is so much “I” clouding the feeling. If that person cannot be aware of that fogginess, DOING is all that person will be aware of and because of that, all the DOING will be colored with ego centered activity.
He will help others, build temples but the feeling is not love but ego boosting. He will be hugging others and smiling to others, but the intention, the feeling is : “I am so good, great, God’s helper, etc.” Those actions will be part of the ego enhancing life style.
Busy in trying to “achieve” an ideal in the “future,” “what is” is forgotten, dismissed in the “now.”
When we become aware of what we “are” in a particular time, that awareness brings change.
How?
That capacity to recognize in us what we could see in others, brings acceptance of “that” and thus openness for change.
It is not a mental process of inner talk and labeling: “This is anger, anger is bad. I must avoid it. Please forgive me God.” It is not about labeling that which we are aware of as “good” or “bad”, but just to be aware of that feeling, that emotion which is “us” at that point in time. As that emotion has arrived, it will go away by itself unless we reject it… then it will stay.
Why?
Because when there is an “I” DOING things, trying to fix things, in ourselves by rejection of “what is,” then we have not learned the lesson that everything changes, moves, does not stay fixed. A rejection of the “I” becomes a wall, stopping the flow of that rejected energy.
That is why, Ananda wouldn’t dare to call “anger” as “bad.” It is energy which could be useful if redirected.
Do you feel lust?
Are you going to deny it, reject it, label it as “evil” to accommodate your thoughts and behavior for an ideal of “I should be lust free”?
That is called self-delusion.
Observe it, be it, let it be… and let it go. When we are empty, that happens without the permission of the “I.” There is no “I” acting as a wall for that energy to stay.
It happens NATURALLY.
But when there is an “I” judging, rejecting, choosing according to a belief of what is “good” or “bad,” then that energy will be easily trapped in that “I.” Because of that, we will ACT (doing) something with that energy in us.
That is a lustful act. It is the “I” + lust.
Someone who does not reject internally the energy of lust but who has a big “I,” will be that energy as well for the “I” identifies with whatever it touches.
What is the issue?
The “I.”
The above is not spirituality for the masses. It requires the time to observe our own processes. It requires the ability to accept what we are, without labeling our state of being and without the pressing need to become some ideal. It requires for someone to be free from beliefs and just to be aware of “what is.”
“ I am lonely. Book XYZ tells me that “I” shouldn’t escape from it. That “I” should embrace it….”
A “should” is a rejection.
DO nothing. Change is inevitable.
In a world of changes there is nothing static but our minds. The feeling of loneliness is not “bad.” Feel it, observe it, acknowledge it, it will go.
But… if you feel it then reject it, judge it, label it, do something about it… It will stay.
To become aware, to awaken in acceptance of “what is” may be the greatest religion to join, the great philosophy to learn and the God to follow.
However, if awareness hasn’t awakened in us, we may need a religion, a philosophy and a God to follow.
How do I know that?
Because I have been there and through awareness, I have witnessed my own process. That is what is being shared. It is not something that I read someplace, or some “realization” out of my thinking mind, or some spiritual class that I took, or some youtube video that I watched.
It is living Life.
BEING is our state of consciousness.
Exploring the Depth of Living 