When “right” changes, it becomes “wrong.” But everything changes, thus; “wrong” will become “right” again.
Something that looks clean, is bound to get dirty. Even though someone may clean it consistently. That cleaning is needed because it got dirty.
Therefore, why do we equate clean and dirty with “good and bad”? Why do we have that idea in our minds?
Some believe that sex is “dirty.” But they don’t see that only something that is “clean” can become “dirty.”
Our generalizations, our black or white beliefs, our emotional investments in religions, spirituality, philosophies and politics that can only see one side of a thing; is prevalent. We live in the mind, not in Life.
The “problem” is not the world. The “problem” is the mind of the observer.
Because we cannot be observers, tourists in an ever-changing reality; we cling to labels and ideals that we believe should be unmovable in time. That is an illusion.
Chasing the illusion of “changing the world,” we don’t allow for ourselves to change, because we believe to be “right.”
We believe “right” is something that cannot change.
We believe to have the “truth.”
Belief upon belief. Opinion upon opinion. We don’t live Life.
We only think about it.
What should the decisions be based on? Why confusion happens inside us? Maybe because we are not connected to ourselves? What brings clarity. Since every action has a consequence and we know that, there is a choice everywhere and in everything. What makes it a no choice, an expression of who we are ? Sometimes there are also compulsions which can drive us, how do we know that this choice is right for us? That it is a conscious decision in accordance with our inner nature and not just a compulsive action? How can we get rid of our compulsions?
Well, one answer which comes to me is observing oneself. Still, I want you to discuss more about it and throw some more light on it.
Thank you for your questions.
“What should be decisions based on?”
It depends on the game that you are playing.
If you play the game of society, your decisions should be based on the conditioning of the mind. Carefully thought out decisions, weighing the pros and cons.
If you are playing the game of Life, the above is nonsense.
You may be able to eat pretty good with the “choice” above but you may not be able to sleep well, and without sleep; you may not be able to enjoy Life.
Sleeping well is not a matter of buying a good mattress and selecting the one with most features (as society may teach you.) It is a matter of having your conscience at ease.
“Thinking” your choices may allow you to feel that you are safe, and on the “right track to success” but that is an illusion for not everyone makes it in the game of society. Too much competition, too many variables, “stuff happens” all the time.
“Why confusion happens inside us?” Because you are not AWARE of the different games to play. Thus, what brings clarity? To sit still and empty your mind of conditioned stuff.
The game of Life entails the recognition of a force “inside” which knows our path. That is not your mind. If you are not AWARE of it, let me describe it with unclear, dualistic words: We can call it the heart or even better, the gut as in a “gut feeling.” This decision is not a choice, for you are not willingly making it, but merely following your “instinct.” This “decision” is labeled in “spiritual circles” as following your dharma. It is a “choice-less choice.” This decision is not necessarily advantageous for you, if you look at it from the perspective of the game of Society, but nevertheless, it is the “right choice” if you look at it from the unlimited view of Life.
How do you know? There are no regrets. Your conscience will be at ease.
Sometimes the mind will interfere to convince you (rationalize) that your choice was made from your gut feeling. That is your challenge and task, to recognize. That is when the keyword you used “Observe yourself” could be handy.
A blind person can ask: What color is the sky? The response from someone who sees could be “blue.” However, what does “blue” mean to a blind person? Nothing. His question is theoretical, for color is something that he does not experience. Clarity is brought automatically, when is the time for that blind person to experience sight, in this Life or the ones after. If you understood the last writings, there is no experience lasting forever, they move from one side of the range of experiences into the other (sight/ blindness) Then, when is his turn to see, he will not ask “what color is the sky?” But before that, he could look for “solutions,” and that is an interesting game to play, which will expand his Life experiences. It is a win/win situation! 🙂
You are asking, “How do we know that this choice was right for us?”
That question means that you are playing the game of society. Do you want to use the rules of the game of Life in the game of society? They are different games!
If you play the game of Life, there is no choice and thus no need to become anxious about hoping to have done the “right” thing or not. If a decision is not “right” for you and this comes from your core not your mind, it is the right “decision-less decision” for the Universe… and since there is Oneness, it is the best thing for all! A win/win situation!
Let me give you a “secret” to ease your mind. Whether you use your thoughts or your gut, whether you make a “right” decision or a “wrong” one, it is still what had to happen in Life.
So put the theory aside, the anxiety of being “right” aside and relax. Unwind.
Ultimately, any path you take whether it was chosen or not, whether north or south, will take you on the way to your destination or your money back guaranteed! – (Just using Society’s terminology for the sake of understanding. )
You asked, “how can we get rid of our compulsions?”
By not trying to get rid of them but by becoming aware of them.
As mentioned before, you cannot play the game of Life with the understanding of the rules of the game of society (get rid of something you don’t like, by hoping that someone knows the “method”- That is a toy to play with in society but not in Life.)
However, you could play the game of society and play the game of Life and enjoy both at the same time… That is a great bargain indeed! But for that to take things seriously may need to be erased in your “inner” dictionary. 🙂
The paradox of the human race is that in order to have an organized, predictive lifestyle; a society was embraced.
That same society, is the origin of the human frustration and search for freedom.
This freedom is not the childish “freedom” of a nation over another. This freedom is a deep calling for expression, the liberation of the “hell” given by the “others”.
The establishment of a society ruled by the mind and reason, originated the denial of the animal side of a human being. That denial has produced all sorts of repressions, emotional traumas and mental diseases.
Society regulates, prohibits, punishes. Interestingly; God does the same thing, in mainstream religion. “In God we trust”.
Although the Universe is unity; most humans can only perceive separation. “Things” are separated and have no relationship. “Things” are by themselves. In that consciousness, “choosing” becomes the word to worship. It is the word that brings the illusion of freedom.
To live in society is about choice. There are many things to choose from. We will choose according to what is “good for me” according to our conditioning. It is that vision which is not inclusive of the Totality the one bringing undesired consequences. For most humans, it is “survival of the fittest”.
Human beings ruled by this impression, are unable to relax and enjoy Life. To achieve something, to beat someone else, to win whatever, becomes important. Perplexingly enough, these individuals like to talk about “getting” love, peace and happiness.
“This is bad” that is “good”. Do what is good. Reject what is bad.
Those are the holy words, the great teaching of society through moralists and “holy” men.
Nevertheless, what is “bad” is typically the “animal side.” The rejection of this side makes hypocrites: They themselves are unable to follow what they preach. It is a continuous battle inside.
The morality of most humans is concerned in becoming “angels and deities” by rejecting their animal side. They are not concerned in being fully humans now, but always about the future, in becoming something through rejection of their own realities.
That is why, to embrace all energies by integrating them rather than choosing through dualistic standards, becomes the “new” paradigm to fully acknowledge ourselves and transcend duality. The idealist perceptions and mental ideas are dissolved through the reality of feelings. A genuine feeling of self-acceptance, which builds the ground for inner understanding.
An animal does not know to be an animal. Just like a toddler. He is not concerned in such “knowledge”. Once we become aware of that “knowledge” problems will start because, we will reject according to our conditioning.
Is knowledge evil?
Neither good nor evil. It is part of what we are and needed to live in society. It is the difference between a full animal and humans. We are AWARE of our animal side. Animals may not be aware of this. Throughout history, we have chosen to reject that animal side and label it as “devilish, lower, ugly, bad,” etc.
Now, is the time to acknowledge it, to integrate it, to value it… to feel wholesome and human… again. This is Tantra.
Not everyone is ready for this, for before accepting the animal side; we need to fully reject it. We are talking about many Life times of experiences. This is the full range of experiences of humans… from “Yoga to Tantra.”
That is why Tantra, is not for everyone… but for those who are ready. 🙂
There is no point. That question comes from a mind conditioned to see utilitarianism in everything. Objectives, purposes, goals, are only conditioning. There is no way to define Life and to enclose it in simple words.
Any scene of Life could be viewed under different perspectives. Any scene of Life has a journey beyond our reasoning.
Believe anything you want. It does not matter. A belief is merely a point of view. To pretend to trap Life and explain it from that viewpoint is superficial.
There was a point in my Life when I thought that I knew all the answers. I thought that I figured Life out pretty good.
“Were you wrong?”
That is not the question. Use a less conditioned question. Wrong /Right… All conditioning.
Let me elaborate without questions.
I had a different consciousness. I was a totally different person back then.
“What makes you feel that you’ve got it “right” this time?”
There is no right nor wrong in Life. In the office world, in our society, there could be a defined line, that is artificial; however, useful.
It is part of a journey. Now, I see things different, because I am not the same.
When “spiritual” people believe that they have changed even though their beliefs, emotional traumas, ideals and viewpoints remain the same… That is a huge mirage.
To be different, to change means to see things in a different way, a different perspective which is inclusive of the previous ones to grow; otherwise, we become angry and bitter with ourselves for we reject our own past. We were not “right” back then… How silly!
“So you are saying that truth is relative, correct?
Which religion or philosophy/ism has the truth?
Now you can see that it is only a matter of perspective; however, followers are like little sheep, all they want is a uniform belief to feel secure. If they would allow themselves to be themselves, their perspectives would necessarily be different.
“So, to be a follower is “wrong”?”
There is no right nor wrong. A follower has a process, a journey. A sheep needs to be protected from predators and the group brings that pseudo-security. The journey of being part of a group, will continue to become a solo journey. That is the full experience. To call any part of the journey as “wrong, inferior, etc.” is to deny that everything is a process in Life.
There is no end product in Life. There is always a continuation, in a different form, a different package.
Nevertheless, our goal oriented conditioning, is always looking for the “arrival” place, “Paradise,” which is some sort of imaginary reward.
There is no arrival. No destination. That is why, there is no particular point in Living, unless we make something up, which is another perspective just like many others.
The experience of Living is unique. A treasure in itself which is not meant to be kept, but it is meant to be used, spent, ready to drink it, taste it as newness arrives.
To use the mind to anticipate and try to control the “future” or to re-live the past means, to waste the opportunity of the “now.”
Living is always “now,” any other tense is non-living, that means; to be lost in the useless questions and answers of the mind. 🙂
To delve into the ideals of society will bring greater understanding of the “game” being played. That understanding can take someone into the realm where “good and bad, right and wrong” are just infantile ideals.
There are rules in society, yes… as in every game. Be aware of the rules to play the game.
Observe Life. There is low tide and high tide. Both are the full experience. Labels are merely to identify things. Low tide is not better or worse than high tide. It just depends on how “what is” is affecting some and not others. A city overflows through high tide. Is that “bad”? Is that “wrong”? Life does not work under those limiting labels.
Most could say that human actions are “good, bad, right, wrong,” but again that is a very infantile way to look at things. In Life, every experience has benefit even though we may label them as “bad, ugly, wrong, devilish, etc.”
“But… Why… Killing people is wrong!! What is the benefit of it?”
🙂 Observe the world. You and I are here today because of that killing of the past.
Is that hard to see? Could you appreciate the connection of all lives?
Someone is killed. Due to that there is a change… a change which could benefit many in the long run and which others will oppose. Everyone looks at their own benefit so there is struggle of the “I,” and through that struggle, there is suffering… Through that suffering comes understanding; dissolution of that “I, ” through that understanding… struggle ceases to be…
Just like high and low tide. Do you see that? That is called a full circle, a Life experience.
I am not saying that we should kill. Please do not misunderstand me. I am saying that whatever is happening … all is well; all is good as it has to be. I am not telling you what to DO. As we know there are consequences to every intention behind an action, and those consequences will drive further change.
Did I share that newness, creation can only come out of destruction? There is no “fixing,” that could create newness. That is the story behind the mythical Phoenix bird.
While ideals of our society are fixated in “low tide is better” than “high tide,” the separation of a natural continuity is made. That separation is only mental; it is a wishy washy belief supported by most religions through an unhealthy duality.
That is why, embracing all and everything, opening to “what is” without labeling it and trying to escape into some human morality to feel “holy than thou” becomes the most important step into inner honesty.
We can play the “game.” Yes. It is there to be played, to have fun, to enjoy it. If you make that “game” your reality, then you will be “happy” if “low tide” is there as that matches your expectation, your training, your belief. Don’t talk about “high tide.” Make it a taboo… and when “high tide” appears, deny it… That is “morality.”
The game of “reality” is a game which is not meant to be defined through infantile labels. It is only meant to be enjoyed, marveled, appreciated. Nothing to change, nothing to fix; for that feature comes already in the game. Observe it, sit back and relax….a feeling of gratitude arrives… Now, we are getting someplace. 🙂
To acknowledge things as they are, to accept people, facts, opinions, circumstances as they are, is the single most important item for any seeker to consider. Acceptance means to have no psychological barrier against it.
We could DO things to change what is happening, but that DOING with an expectation, with an outcome in mind is full of ego and thus, when the situation does not appear as we would have wish for, we suffer.
Ego wants to be “right.” There is an immense fear of being “wrong.” We cannot understand that once we embrace the idea of being “right” without the idea of being “wrong” as well, then we set ourselves up for suffering.
Embrace the duality to make it one. If we embrace only one part, we will suffer once the other part‘s turn arrives. Ego identifies with one part of the duality and will suffer when the other side arrives. It will arrive. there is no way to stop it.
We perceive different forms. We label those forms with different names. That perception makes a separation.
Forms are united through a thread of events which will make up change, that which we call Life.
If we interfere in those events because we like to follow a moral standard, a law, a tradition; we are looking for a particular outcome. That outcome may happen, but it is inevitable that at another point in time, the opposite of our wishful outcome; will occur.
To embrace the duality as one, to step away from a “black or white” vision of the Universe, takes a different kind of intelligence.
That intelligence is not “educated” through a relationship with people in a society, but it appears once you live out of that society. When you are alone.
That is why a serious seeker, sooner or later will need to face his own loneliness.
That is when transformation appears. It is no longer about changing behavior, or changing the color of clothes to look “holier than thou.”
All the DOING is no longer needed as a distraction of recognizing who we ARE.
Thus, to be alone means to be in front of that which is not allowed to BE.
That is why it becomes so important to acknowledge EVERYTHING of who we ARE without trying to change it into some ideal, into some belief no matter how sacred it may be.
Acknowledge who you ARE. Recognize it. Observe it.
We have been taught to manipulate ourselves to maintain an ideal given by someone else. “We should be this and not that.”
All of that DOING to change who we truly are is merely a distraction from observing our truth.
Many ask: “How is it possible for observation to change something in us?”
Those are the ones who are used to DOING and are not aware of BEING aware of themselves.
I could recognize what is ego if I OBSERVE that manifestation in others. It is that OBSERVATION the one capable of changing ourselves when that observation is focused on us.
What do you mean by “us”?
Feelings, mental condition, beliefs, ideals, moral standards. Be a “detached observer,” of who you ARE as you ARE.
If we could observe how attached we are to all of those things that we believe to be us… we could start letting those things go.
Without that observation, all the “knowledge” we accumulate about ourselves, will be “second class,” a “hand me down,” an “intellectual trip to nowhere.”
We cannot pretend to CHANGE BEING when the mind accumulates more information.
The mind is incapable of acknowledging that which is always changing, evolving… Life.
The mind only has memories of that which is no longer the “now.”
“I thought I saw a pussy cat… I did, I did!
No. You didn’t. You are wrong!”
In Life we may have different perceptions of reality. That is based on the filtering of the mind, which in turn is related with the limited information gathered by our senses. The “I” creates that filtering.
At that point, we may assume things, we may extrapolate on previous known stories, and determine that our perception is the “right one.”
Perceptions of reality are neither right nor wrong. For we are always dealing with a changing location of consciousness and type of information that we could perceive.
What it is “now,” will not be tomorrow.
The issue is when we have determined in our minds that something is the way we think, and because of that we place an unchanging label of approval to our perceived “reality.”
Certainty is created by “force” in that way, and then supported by a belief, when we fear that our “reality” may change.
It has been said that the World is an illusion.
It is not. It is what we perceive of it. Neither illusion nor reality.
What is the purpose of experiencing, if that experience will be colored by a subjective perception, which is not “reality”?
There is no purpose for experiencing unless we make up one. There is no “reality” per say that is why; there cannot be illusion. Are you enjoying that perception? 🙂 Our capacity for enjoyment is fundamental to live Life.
Because perceptions cannot be right or wrong, what matters is how we feel about that perception, what matters is what we discover about us through that perception. In self-realization, every experience will give greater realization of the self for the one who is aware.
It has been said that the world is our own mirror. As long as there is a “someone” an “I,” there will be a reflection of something. That reflection can show us what is inside us, which is not meant to be labeled as “right” or “wrong.”
A stranger came from out of town asking for help. Carl, heard the stranger’s plead but decided not to help.
Carl was taught to “never trust a stranger.”
We could be lost in the morality of judging if Carl’s action is “right” or “wrong.” That does not matter.
What matters is if Carl is able to look at his own biased behavior. If he is able to look at the belief of righteousness based on a generalization.
That is true “spiritual” intelligence.
When we understand Oneness, how is it possible to discriminate based on the duality of “stranger” or “non-stranger”?
For that observation to take place, any cultural or religious belief will need to be set aside.
Henry may have lived under the impression of having the unconditional love of his girlfriend. The girlfriend run away with another man.
Henry could divert his energy in demonstrating how “wrong” his girlfriend was.
That is not the point, if we are dealing with the opportunity to grow in consciousness.
What is important for Henry is to observe how this episode is generating in him certain emotions, feelings which otherwise are hidden from his awareness.
Those things are the “real me” in disguise.
If we look at Life under this perspective, how “bad” or negative was the experience of Henry then?
It wasn’t negative at all, but the opportunity to learn about “him.”
“ But …That is not the case for the majority. 90% of people will feel devastated, perhaps to the point of taking their own life due to the pain felt as a consequence of their own attachment… in the name of love…”
Sure. That is because there is no awareness of that which we call “self.” There is a price to pay for that awareness which the majority is not willing to pay for… until there is no other way.
Life itself is the greatest teacher for those who are aware. For those who are not yet, a religion, a moral code, a cultural tradition may be necessary to tell them how to behave, how to feel and how to live.
Have you ever wondered why there are so many books’ titles, starting with the title of “How to do” something?
Perhaps we have the answer now.
So, you saw an Oasis when there was only a desert?
Observe your desire for water. Your mind is meant to do the rest.