A human being has a duality within. That is the male/female energy, which is manifested through a body.
When we identify with the form, we call ourselves “male or female.” Nevertheless, our psyche has to agree with that denomination as well. If it doesn’t then we have the other shades of colors besides the “black and white,” male-female type of standard.
To be aware of our own eternity is to recognize that we had the experience of being a male and a female. To be aware of our own energies is to balance and harmonize male and female. There is no one who is a “pure female” or a “pure male” energy. A “macho guy” represses his femininity to the point where he will be in extreme need of female energy. At that point that neediness has been labeled as “love.”
When someone embraces the path of a seeker, sooner or later loneliness will be faced. That loneliness increases for the need of finding a complementary energy will be always there. It is part of Nature.
Inside ourselves, there is the “inner kid” which most psychologists now agree “exists.” However, there is a “full-family” inside every individual. There is the male- female and kid energies.
To balance those energies is of utmost importance to find that wholeness inside without neediness.
Once that wholeness is found, then to integrate that oneness with “others” is the next step.
“Loving yourself” is more than a “nice spiritual phrase.” It is to recognize our value, worthiness and respect for being. We could start with self caressing ourselves, pamper ourselves, to use this body to manifest that which we would like in a partner.
Obviously the above may not be accepted for there is a strong taboo against touching our own bodies or allowing complementary, natural energies within to manifest.
All of those beliefs are detrimental in harmonizing our energies. We have learned to repress and to live by stereotypes which have given us the notions of what is “good and what is bad.”
Unless we learn to balance our own energies, to live by yourself harmoniously may not be possible. Everyone will go by in our lives. We need to learn to live in balance with ourselves.
By identifying ourselves with a particular “role model” or stereotype, we deny our own manifestation. The “black and white “ belief that a “man” has to be this way and not that way, or “this is the way a woman should act..” is nothing but a belief and as such it is worth only as long as someone gives value to it.
Therefore, to integrate the “family” within is of great value to experience that oneness which is needed to embrace a greater oneness with all.
We cannot pretend to be One when we are needy. We cannot pretend to live harmoniously in a relationship with another person, when we look for our needs to be satisfied by another.
Coffee and milk get together to bring their own flavor into the mix to create something different with their own oneness.
Searching for “truth,” could take someone through different paths.
That which makes you look forward to living. That which gives you passion to live.
In that search there maybe different paths:
Religious paths, “self-created” paths out of conceptual understanding, and the path of “doing what everyone does,” all of those paths will bring different experiences.
Religious paths are ways of reforming the self. In other words, the belief that we are “sinful” beings who need to be reformed to align with some “plan.”
That is, God’s plan or some other “elevated” vision of whom I should be. The issue is that most of the time, the emphasis on changing into a virtuous being, is surrounded and manipulated by rituals and devotional practices which are meant so we can belong to a particular creed, rather than allowing that person to explore his own limits and discover by himself what being virtuous is all about.
After all, it is truly a pathless path which may need a little “push” from “up above” to get us started.
Therefore, that original reform becomes a source of dependency, that is “I am virtuous, or I am with God as long as I belong to that particular path.” With that narrowed vision of what is truly meant to be unlimited, universal and wholesome; fear will be built rather than trust in life, in my own capacity and abilities.
That is, doubting in my own honesty to be spiritual.
Thus, someone is not spiritual just because that person does not practice a particular ritual, but because there is no sense of inner balance and inner beauty in their life; harmony is lacking. In a sentence:
“When the smile in the face does not come from serenity of the heart.”
“Self-created paths,” means to create your own flavor according to the whim of the moment. There is the danger of misunderstanding in this path.
For instance if I want to try Taoism as a guiding path, there is the main teaching there of “being natural” and doing what is “natural.”
Obviously this word “natural” may get interpreted in different ways according to my whims and my state of consciousness.
Thus, doing what is “natural” may not be what is “right.”
For that reason, it may be important to start our spiritual quest through the direction of some sort of reformation.
Why is reformation important?
Because as long as a person does not know about his “higher” destination in life (other than getting a great job, a big house and a beautiful partner,) that person will be lost in life. What we are looking in life is not something more to “do,” BUT to “BE.”
Peace, serenity, love…those are not small things to “be.”
Those things cannot be bought with money or degrees or social status.
If that is your goal and you do not know where to start, you may need to look into reforming the self, for the “brainwashing” of “doing” before “being” needs to get out of our system.
Then, your search has truly started.
The Path of “doing what everyone does,” is the path to be like everyone. More “doing.” That simply means entropy. Going down.
Why is that?
Because it is the world of duality, the world of search for pleasure over pain. The world of “me” versus “them.” The world of divisions, the world of “getting things done.”
None of the above mentioned paths is the “only path.” As a matter of fact, different combinations of those paths will be experienced by many.
In life we can recognize that there are no 2 people who are the same. Similarly, there cannot be 2 paths which are alike.
Nevertheless, “true” spirituality starts with a search. It has to be a search of something, which we know exists, even though we cannot put it in words. We cannot search for something, which we do not know what it is.
Life will bring the other ingredients towards finding that which we are looking for according to our sincerity, our honesty.
Then, honesty is the most important part in “being spiritual.”
Spirituality is for those who are sincere, honest. For those who are not afraid of viewing themselves as who they are, without covers. For those who do not perform to satisfy the “normal” status quo. For those who do not pretend.
It is in the heart of that main virtue of honesty, where all other virtues could appear.
Life will only peel the layers of confusion out, so the gem could shine. Chiseled by the experiences of living life; it will be bright; all by itself, as the sun rises in the horizon dispelling the clouds of confusion of the mind.