Tagged: sex-lust

Changes: Getting rid of the added rust

Change means life. There is nothing static. Movement is ongoing. Our emotional and mental suffering is related with our inability to let things go on or because we cling into something made up by our minds which is not “here” yet. These are desires.

For someone who is not aware, changes will tend to degenerate, that is “entropy” is the default when there is no awareness. This could be explained simply by looking at a nail after several years, rust will be building up. The former shiny nail will lose its color.

This “rust” is what religions and moral teachings have identified as “vices.” Therefore, well-known religions and moral teachings are all about cleaning that rust by “doing” something.

Some religions will apply sandpaper over the nail. The nail will have to go through lots of friction and discomfort to get the rust out… however, sand paper is not the “solution” to maintain the nail clean from vices, but just a temporary method, for if sandpaper is not applied to that nail on a regular basis, then more rust will appear.
This creates a “dependency” of the nail for sandpaper. Notice that everything here goes at the physical level.

For example, If I realize that sex lust is “bad,” then I should not look at a woman. Then, I should think that a woman is my mother or my sister, so the desire will go away. “Do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil.” 🙂

This is sandpaper. That is, to identify something which is “wrong” with me and to do something to get that out of my system.
As long as there is sandpaper, then I should be “clean,” if I “do” a good job. 🙂

There are other religions or philosophies which proclaim that “everything is what I should be,” and I do not need to “do” anything to change. I am perfect already, but I do not realize it. 🙂

Many have misinterpreted this religious/moral teaching as to “do what is natural.” Thus, Anger is natural, lust is natural, greed is natural, etc. When there is this huge misinterpretation, there is more rust accumulated in the nail.

Zen Buddhism and Taoism have been misinterpreted in this way. For many is about sitting for meditation looking at the wall and performing some devotional rituals and nothing else after that except to think about a “koan,” to dissolve the mind. Here, there is no striving to be “better” for there is nothing to improve.

The problem is that there is no inner observation of what “is.” That comes with awareness and dear reader, awareness cannot be taught, it happens, by itself when we are continuously observing ourselves and by being in contact with Nature to be nurtured by it. Nature is subtle and that subtlety needs to be ingested by a person who is only aware of the physical realm.

When looking at the moon on a windy night, being mesmerized by the beauty of the moment, when appreciation appears, when the heart spontaneously awakens with love, in that moment there is a connection, there is a “something” that is perceived in the air, the setting. That something is subtle and it comes as spiritual nourishment by itself as long as our mind is in that tranquil state of appreciation.

That nourishment changes individuals. The only task is to be aware enough to perceive it. To be open to it.

Then we can see that the utility of sandpaper is just to get us to that point.

Then, magically; the nail is covered by anti-corrosive paint, as long as we could experience that subtle nourishing energy which is everywhere as long as we are aware of it.

The effect is the feeling of gratefulness and peace. When that peace manifest in movement, there is harmony.
This is the “natural” state. Once we know this state by experiencing it, then there is no need to do anything to avoid rust on the nail. Then, we can “do” what is natural, not before.

Therefore, the task is just to be aware. To “gain” awareness after our many years of lethargic sleep.

The sleeping beauty wakes up when the kiss of awareness of the prince, touches her heart.

Question for June 13, 2013 – Celibacy

Can anybody tell me how long you need to practice celibacy in order to experience it’s benefits?

Dear soul,

Since “anybody” is not available today to answer your question; avyakt7 will do it this time. 🙂

You will experience the benefits of celibacy the first moment you decide to “do it,” that is; your will power will be exercised truly the “first time.” That is benefit.

The next day, you will get hell. But still benefit. The following days… further hell but still benefit… until “hell” changes into “heaven” gradually as you learn to deal with sex lust only if your “will power” has transformed into deep feelings from the heart (Good feelings and pure wishes for “others”) then, sex lust will be gone.

If you call that “benefit,” it could take you 1 second or a lifetime or something in between. It is up to you.

Avyakt7 took 5 years to believe that he had conquered sex lust. Then, another 5 years to prove it through life tests.

You will be tested from day 1…that is a benefit. 🙂

Best wishes!

Questions for June 2nd, 2013 – All about Lust

What is Lust ? How Is sex-lust different from taste-lust (wanting to eat tasty dishes) or cloth-lust (wanting to wear fashionable clothes) ?

Dear soul,
Thank you for your great question!
Lust is basically a desire to possess something for self gratification. As you realized there are many forms of lust which typically are expressed through a sense organ.

Sex lust will be expressed through sexual organs. That is the focus of it. However, there are many steps which lead into it which are part of the experience of lust. A thought, an emotion all of that will bring that desire to possess, then other sense organs will become involved in it.

A person who is overcome by sex lust is unable to express love and a nurturing touch through his/her senses without an ulterior motive. For “normal” people this is known as the way for “procreation” or sadly called “love;” but for spiritual minded people , anything that overcomes our conscious awareness is just means not to be a master of the self.

You may enjoy a delicious meal. Enjoy it to feel nurtured. If you want to continue eating just for the “taste of it,” then you are experiencing lust at the taste level. If you “crave” for a particular meal and you cannot be without it, that is lust at the taste level.

Clothes are not “lustful” in itself by our vision on them. So, the sense of the physical eyes are the main culprit. Wearing fashionable clothes is not the issue. The issue is how you feel about it or how others may perceive you (what signal you are bringing.)

A baby wearing fashionable clothes will be perceived as a cute baby for he does not have the “vibes” to be perceived otherwise. However, there may be individuals who may have a different perception based on their own “issues.”
That is the signal that we need to be aware, that we may be triggering in others.

Best wishes!

om shanti, I did the foundation course around 15 months back. Have not been a regular student though i am trying to improve myself first. Somehow celibacy is something which is evading me. Have been trying hard but somehow not able to do that. Although I agree that frequency has absolutely decreased yet have not been able to celibate completely and indulge in masturbation. Please advice.

Dear soul,
Thank you for your honest question!

Here is my list out of my own experience, hope it is helpful for you.

1) Be especially aware of the food that you eat. Be picky about it. As much as possible eat only what you cook. Being vegetarian is a must. Avoid any sort of spicy food items. Please be informed about Satvvic diet and stick to it. Drink water and juices. Don’t do coffee or any other stimulant as much as possible.
Your diet is VERY important. It is related with your mind and thus, with the way you perceive the world.

2) Because you just started this path, you will need to practice the “method of avoidance” until you get a grip of yourself. Avoid situations which may trigger sexual thoughts. Avoid having idle time where your mind could fantasize. Become busy in spiritual matters. This is where “service” at your near BK center will help you a lot.

3) Regulate your sleeping time. Sleep enough hours but be aware when “dreams” are coming. In the beginning of this, you will have lustful dreams which will lead into “wet dreams.” It is the unconscious trying to force you to change your ways. If you can avoid that by waking up early enough ( 3:30 AM ready for Amrit Vela meditation) you will be ahead of the game.

4) Develop your feelings. Feel intensely with your heart. Learn to appreciate the opposite gender with those feelings. Be around Nature as much as possible so those feelings will be developed without much effort. Enjoy a sunset. Sit by a park. Smell the roses. Watch the ocean. Write poetry. All of that will develop a sensibility in you which will be extremely helpful to conquer sexual lust.

5) Engage in regular meditation. The goal is to feel inner peace, that is to express those inner feelings. Feelings when developed are the way to conquer sexual urges. The heart chakra when developed is beyond the second chakra (sexuality.) True spirituality starts at the Heart Chakra.

6) Be patient. It may take years. However, you will see progress within the first 6 months. You are engaging yourself in something which is not “normal,” so you will require lots of Godly/ Divine help on this task. Be attuned to those Divine energies by loving God with your heart.

7) Don’t give up. You may lose a battle, but not the war. Have the courage to believe in yourself and that this can be done.

8) Read the section titled “The Awakening” By Mathias (it is a tab on this blog.) Pay attention to those pieces of advice. They are very helpful.

Best wishes!

Question: I’m very much interested in following BK principles like Celibacy. But, my friends always tell to me that celibacy can backfire and they question the values of BK. I don’t know the reason or logic behind following the principles.However, I love following the principles. How can I tackle my friends?

Thank you for your great question!

Dear soul,

The “principles,” are meant to reform the self from its current “normal” state of being; that is typically; being insensitive, ego driven and lustful human being. That is “normal.”

If you are looking to transform yourself spiritually, you need to make some changes in your life that will allow you to build that space of spirituality.

Let me start here with the principles:
1) The more obvious is our food. The level of a self-realized being like a Gautama Buddha cannot be reached is we are still meat eaters and take all sorts of food items which are non-satvvic. What you eat will influence your body and when you are beginning spirituality, your body is basically what goes on in your mind. Your food needs to change, what you drink, etc. I do not understand for my “tongue’s sake” how is it possible for a BK to ingest “spicy food” and believe that this will not have an effect in their anger “management.”
Food is your building block for greater awareness and sensibility to vibrations.

2) Sleep hours: Discipline is something that will allow you to use your time is the most fruitful way. Going to bed early and waking up early will allow you to have enough sleep to be awake and aware for work on the inner self. If you sleep whatever you like, then the aim of awareness which starts with meditation, yoga; will not be followed correctly. If you do not use the time of amrit vela to meditate, you will be throwing away the opportunity to find out how proper your day went the previous day, for the quality of your amrit vela is related with your previous day’s activities. If you eat too much or if you eat too little, you will not be able to enjoy your mediation time. The same id you slept too much or too little. Balance is needed. That is the importance of that.

3) Class every day, is the discipline to hear something uplifting and spiritually related. In this world if we don’t do anything and just sit there, entropy will still work on us, that means; declining. Therefore, we need to keep our minds with something helpful for the day. The discipline of going to the center, will instill the healthy habit of waking up early every day.

4) Celibacy: To know sex lust as it is, you will need to practice this principle. Without this practice, you cannot totally become a master of the senses, for we are at the mercy of sex which surrounded by all the other vices that we have, make a good “soil” for further suffering. Sex is not a “must have it” to survive. It is not like drinking water or breathing air. It is not shelter or food. To go beyond it without repression shows mastery of the self. It is not something that everyone can do.

Through celibacy, the doors for feelings and higher awareness could be opened.

It doesn’t matter if your friends do not understand this. That is “easy to understand.” It is easy to talk without the experience.
Hopefully you are able to understand now the need of following the principles, that is if spirituality is your goal in life at its highest level.


Question: Dear brother Om shanti In one of Avyakt vani (murli) Baba said to convert lust ( sexual energy ) in to best wishes and pure feelings, but I could not understand it properly, pleae explain … Thanks

Thank you for your question!

Dear soul,
Next time you find in your path someone who you feel attracted to, just check what is going on inside you, be AWARE, conscious on the changes: what you think, what you feel, how your stomach feels and how your pulse and heart beats changes, etc. Those changes happen through energy.

Next time you find someone who you feel attracted to, just take that energy through the feelings of your heart and “emit” those pure feelings and good wishes. Transform. You need to be AWARE of that. That is all. Feel the difference.

That is a simple description of transformation of energies; to know you need to experiment and experience.

Best wishes!

Question: Dear avyakt7, In your post on ‘true spirituality’ you shared your experience as: ‘In my experience, if you understand/conquer anger and lust; you are on your way for “true spirituality,” until then; we are just “playing with dolls,” which is a necessary first step for many’. This SOUL would like to share: ‘YES conquering ANGER brings in lot of change in the behaviour of the SOUL and the dress called ‘this physical body’ it is wearing and with YOGAYUKTH MEDITATION, it is possible to bring in a change with little efforts. But when it comes to the question of LUST, which has a wide spectrum meaing ‘DESIRE’ not limiting it to ‘sexual desire’ alone, which appears to be some what more challenging to conquer and a lot of efforts are needed by the SOUL’. Would you please share your experiences and elucidate on this subject?

Thank you for your question!

Dear soul,

To understand “desire” is to understand “ego.” Desire happens in many levels not just sexual desire as you know.
The issue is not to reject. That is to acknowledge that the issue is there, to realize that it is something to work on for if we have “conquered” a particular vice; then that one wouldn’t affect us anymore.

To illustrate; if someone was to offer me a “juicy steak” which smells good and everything, trying to tempt me with it; that person wouldn’t be able to do it, for eating meat is not a part of me. It is not “natural” for me. Thus, it is not because I am “following a Maryada,” (Although that is the way I started “reforming”) but because that Maryada is following me. 🙂 Once the sanskaras of the code of conduct are ingrained in us, there is no need to talk about “following Maryadas.”

That switch in awareness comes with certain inner work.

1) Understanding why?
2) Realization at the heart level- feelings
3) Doing what you preach.

The important aspect however, is that because I don’t eat meat, that doesn’t mean that I will reject the person trying to “tempt me” or to reject anyone who eats meat or the meat itself; but as far as possible making sure that people feel acknowledged as well. This is a more mature behavior which will bring positive karmic returns.

The same example is applicable with sex-lust. I have shared many articles about it here and in the blog: “healthy celibacy.” Obviously, I will not share here my personal experiences about this, although rest assured that I am “experienced” and I am not just sharing as another pretty theory or something that I read someplace.

As a massage therapist, I have learned a lot about sex lust. This is not for everyone to experience but it was in my Drama, because I had the capacity to go through it or for some other “reason.”

Most of us “normal” people, equal affection through touch with arousal and sexuality. Lots of individuals do not feel comfortable when being touched. There is a quality in touch which needs to come from a space of feelings (4th Chakra) that means transforming sexual energy. This happens only through sheer appreciation (beauty, strength, or other quality) without being attached or wanting to possess; it comes when we learn to acknowledge female and male energy in our own selves (Vishnu) to recognize that and to switch to male or female energy when needed.

Opposite attracts. If we use the same energy, then that attraction is over. Note that I am talking about energy and not about physical bodies; it comes down to the energy, the vibes; which is released by one person and the way it is deciphered by another.

At a higher level we can take that energy and transform it and send it back as “good feelings and pure wishes;” ( Just as BapDada has been mentioning) to be able to do this we need to be aware of what is going on inside us. This will become automatic after a while.

There is a need to know how to protect the self from energies or how to be aware of them to transform them. Let us remember one more time, we cannot reject. Rejection makes things harder to deal with. There is no conquering of anything by rejecting or by running away; however, those steps (rejection/ running away) are usually “baby steps” in understanding the vices.

Finally, as we know; we are “numberwise” on this; thus, we need to be able to perceive our “comfort zone” to stay safe in this path. “Conquering vices” is a step by step journey for most.

Best wishes!

Question: controlling the lust is not that easy ? it is something to crush mountains with hammer …..

Thank you for your question.
Dear soul,
As you mention, to deal with lust is not that easy. Again until we have not learned to develop feelings through the heart (Chakra- There are many articles here on that topic) we will not be able to conquer sex lust. It will be just about repression. If you think that you have opened your heart and you cannot touch someone from the opposite gender without feeling “awkward,” you are not conquering sex lust either; you are just closing doors to survive a celibate life style.

If you are incapable of touching/looking/ thinking of someone of the opposite gender without utter respect and care, sex lust is floating around your being. If you think that living in a “protected environment” where you are free from “temptations” will give you mastery over the self, think twice. It will give you a break so you can observe the self, but “mastery” of the self is a whole different game, a game which is not played in isolation.

Best wishes!