Tagged: sexual addictions

Mental Addictions


When a recurrent compulsory thought appears in our life which has the force to determine a behavior which is believed to cause pleasure, relief, a soothing effect or a reward, then we could be dealing with a mental addiction.

In an addiction a “rational person” turns irrational. A life which is managed by the belief of an existing self, becomes out of balance, out of control in order to fixate its efforts to acquire that which is believed to bring relief, pleasure, reward, peace of mind, soothing effect, etc.

The way our society deals with mental addictions is by denying the triggers, which are believed to be the cause of the addiction.

For example, let us take a look at sex addiction.
A sex addict will be told not to watch TV or to have a computer so “temptations” do not occur.
If that addiction is dealt in a religious setting, then the idea that the “body is ugly, full of disgusting fluids” will be told as to create distaste in the addict.
The promise that there is something “better” than the pleasure from the body will be expressed as well.

A person who practices celibacy as denial of sex, could believe that “he needs to protect himself from the impure environment by avoiding triggers and situations which could become a temptation.”
Praying could help in this case, … “And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil.”

A mental addiction appears when there is a great mental identification with a “self.”

The solution of that mind problem has been to use the mind to deny itself.

What are the typical cliches used in that “solution”?
Use your will power to “fight against it.” Believe that a higher power will help you. Cover your senses. Think about something else. Surround yourself with like-minded people for support.

Those “solutions” are only a band-aide waiting to fall off the wound.

The problem, the addiction hasn’t been cured.

A mental addiction appears when we are incapable of living in the “now” due to a life, which is lived mostly in the head.

Let me illustrate.

Charlie “Mind” meets a girl. Charlie does not notice the first instants. He does not become aware of the “thinking.”
If the mind takes over as it is the case with most, labeling will happen: “ My gosh, She is beautiful/ugly” from that point the thought has been started into duality.

Something pleasurable will need to be repeated. That means, the movie in the mind will repeat and many plots will be added to that movie to make it exciting, “new.” That repetition will make sure that the thought will linger even without our conscious will.
From this point on, we could discover many things about our own minds. That is our own inner work.

The “experts” whether religious or scientific, are about denial of the triggers, “Don’t do this, don’t think that, Do this, do that, etc.” It is the “black or white” mentality, which will lead someone into the experience of duality: Success or failure. Success through repression, failure through feeling guilt. Either way, the “problem” still remains.

Let us take a look at another Charlie…. Charlie “feelings.”

Charlie Feelings meets a girl. Charlie appreciates her through his feelings. A feeling invades his heart and a smile comes out. That feeling will be completely felt without thoughts or beliefs coming to his mind. Without judgment. Charlie Feeling will move into something else in the day as he lives the “now” but he chooses to maintain the feeling while meeting other people throughout the day.
Feeling is what gives fulfillment. The mind is trying to obtain that fulfillment by mentally repeating the experience or acting that out compulsively.

Going further into feelings we may find out that if the feeling that we develop before meeting anyone is strong and we feel fulfilled, all we need to do is to maintain that throughout the day. Strong awareness is needed for that. That is the reward of our own internal work. Life will be impregnated with our feelings.

With feelings we can appreciate life and the different scenes, the uniqueness of those.
With thoughts we do not “feel anything.” We separate through the mind and we look to experience only one aspect of duality. We choose what we believe to be pleasurable and reject pain. Pleasurable/rewarding/a relief is that which needs to be repeated continuously in the mind, that is an addiction.

Nevertheless, pain cannot be avoided as an experience once the “self” has chosen pleasure. Duality 101. 🙂

Question: Again with Sex -Lust as a Sin – Too much guilt feeling after listening to Murli. Why is this emphasis on characterizing Sex as Sin.. Why provide all temptations and monitor if you can resist it.. It’s a sadistic perspective – don’t u think? – Souls without this gyan may be living their day to day life, leading a simple and happy life.. #don’tknowwhattobelieve… Your thoughts bro… Say some one is Married and still suffering from some addictions.. He may act on it.. Does it make them a sinful soul who deserves 100 fold punishment.. Why and Who gets to decide what is right… Pls respond..

Thank you for your question!

Dear soul,
The Murli is a talk between the Father of the Brahmin clan and his children. For a Brahmin soul at this time, sex-lust is not advised. As the Murli mentioned today; it means to “come down from a Satopradhan (pure) stage” This does not mean that other souls who want to take benefit of some other Brahmin teaching should take it personal; but just to understand the setting. This knowledge is given in a Brahmin setting.

Similarly in Christianity, there is the commandment: “You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife.” however, I guarantee you that there are many “believers” who are not following that commandment, but still sitting in mass and showing their loyalty to Christianity even though the priest may speak about this point.

Rather than “temptations” those are tests that life provides. Some are able to pass them , others are not. Just plain life.

In your example about that married person who has some “addictions; ” those addictions themselves are “100 fold punishment;” for no one can be happy when addicted to something. You depend, you are subservient, you cannot be without it. That state does not only will make someone unhappy but also their dear ones.

Addictions, specially sexual addictions have no end. There is always more to try, something new, exciting…in the meantime your own life strength gets depleted. Your will power is gone. How can that life of dependency be a “happy life”?

There is no one who gets to decide what is “right or what is wrong.” Everything is just “cause and effect.”
If you feel sorrow of any kind, you know that something needs to improve.

Best wishes!