Tagged: sexual problems

Questions on Human/ Sexual problems

“In the article of “Human Problems” you said that consider Life as a “GAME” and play it, which is a way to enjoy it. At one place, I find it completely okay and valid, and have experimented with it to some extent, but even after considering life as Game, I don’t enjoy it, I don’t find where the problem is, because even in Game there is a fear of losing and ego of winning, a target to achieve, and then the stress about the target, my simple question is what kind of Game is this Ahnanda? Even after knowing that it is simply a game and nothing else why are we not able to enjoy it and consider it a burden or a struggle most of the times.”

Thank you for your questions.
Realize that you don’t enjoy Life despite “knowing” that it is a game. That is all. Enjoy that realization! 🙂
No? Then, become AWARE of how your mind is not allowing you to enjoy through all the conditioning in it.
Social conditioning is shaping your perception of the word “game.” A game is something we do for distraction, amusement, entertainment.
However, in our society a game is a form of competitive sport or play, according to rules to “win” and decided by skill, strength, luck or politics.
You perceive “game” to be this option. However, it is not the only option.
It is your conditioned mind the one that will not allow you to enjoy, for “normal” conditioning in our society expects objectives, achievements, betterment or gains in anything.
To enjoy Life is the same as to enjoy “yourself.” Thus, if you don’t enjoy Life, you do not enjoy yourself. We are one with Life.

” In the article “The game of Sexual “problems” and “solutions.” You have said that “Sexuality is only an outcome of who we ARE.
If we are a pure soul, the outcome of it, sexuality as you say, should also be a pure thing. If we are a silent consciousness, the outcome, sexuality, also should be something very silent thing, if we are an emptiness, sexuality also should be an emptiness.
I am seriously not able to frame my question here but still, if our sexuality can be who we are then why it is condemned, as a homosexual, I have been condemned like hell. Even spiritual people consider it something very unnatural to be sexually attracted towards a human being, is that invalid thing when you are trying to be a spiritual person?”

Observe that you don’t have a question, but a complaint. If you ARE homosexual, then that is who you ARE in a limited vision. Acknowledge it. Society plays the game of beliefs, taboos, morality, etc. If you don’t fit those, you will be rejected. Play the game in society by being aware of those “rules.” That is all. No need to reject anyone, for the game will change. It always does. Have you noticed that every single human being does not fit the “ideal” that society is selling? Ideals are of the mind. Life is beyond the constraint of a conditioned mind.
Label yourself as something (Christian, homosexual, democrat, asian, etc.) and you will have supporters as well as opposition. That is the game.

If “spiritual people” consider unnatural to be attracted to a person, then they are not humans or reject their own humanity.
If a human being denies his own humanity for the sake of some ideal, that person cannot know who he IS. Without that, how spiritual someone could be?
While you are in this physical world, play the game of the physical world, not the game of a non-physical world. To be that honest with yourself is to be “spiritual.”

Of course, naturally someone may not feel attraction for another human being. That is fine too. The issue is when someone who feels attraction pretends not to feel it, because he wants to DO what someone else IS naturally. That is called Ego but also “spirituality.”

“One last question, it is true that even after having sex and masturbation many times in life, we aren’t content with it, what is the way to be content with it, or finding some method to reach a state of celibacy in a natural way is a solution to this? Please note that I am not talking about enforced celibacy here, I have tried that, it doesn’t work in my case.”

Are you making your lack of enjoyment into a problem?
You have some many ideals and concepts in your mind. That is the “problem.”
Empty your mind from so much information, so many beliefs.

Celibacy is the opposite of Sex. That is how the mind works when it finds a “problem” in sex, it goes to the opposite for a “solution.”
In the last article, it was mentioned about identifying the energy of anger that moves most individuals in society. Why is there anger? Because something about a person does not fit the ideal of society.  In your case, homosexuality.
For most, Sex becomes just a way to pacify the suffering of the mind and not a way to complete their enjoyment of Life.
All experiences have value for our own growth.  Thus, in Life there is no such a thing as “good or bad, right or wrong,” but those labels exist in the game of society. Every human being is in a different position in the path of self-realization. There is variety of experiences. 
Observe yourself. Enjoy the experiences, for they will change. They always do, for Life is change. Try anything you think will help you… Trust Life.  That is part of your experience, there will be growth through that.

 

 

The game of Sexual “problems” and “solutions.”

There is no “spirituality” without sexuality, as there is no beach without Ocean.
There is no better indicator to know “where we are” in the “spiritual” game, than to observe the way we approach sexuality.
Some religions satanize sexuality. They are not concerned on self-knowledge of who we ARE now, but only in the “ideal” of what it “should be” in the future. That gap creates all sorts of insanity.

Sex could be from the ranges of no sex whatsoever, to “a lot” if we are looking at numbers; or from unfulfilling to fulfilling, if we are looking at quality. Anything in between is also part of the human experience. Every person in this planet interprets part of that range of experiences, therefore; where is the “problem”?

The “problem” arrives when we think that we have a “problem,” at that point “solutions” are needed.
To look for “solutions” is part of fulfilling our range of experiences.

Sexuality is only an outcome of who we ARE.
Our tendency is to label an experience as good or bad, normal or abnormal; those labels full of duality, are part of playing the “game” in society.

Why sexuality has taken such a great importance for the masses nowadays?
Because it has been repressed for many centuries. Sexuality has been confined through unspoken rules into what is “right and what is wrong.”

Those traumas linger in the human psyche as experiences of many past lives.
Many individuals feel unfulfilled with their sexual lives, thus the “sexual revolution” is marketing “solutions” to improve our sexual fulfillment.

Tantra for the masses is becoming just that, a technique to be learned and practiced to become “better.” That is not Tantra at all, but Spiritual salesmen are “helping” others to achieve great things… And even they pitch about higher consciousness, enhanced awareness, the ability to be in the “now” and of course, … “Enlightenment.” Salesmen know all the “keywords.”

For most individuals, the energy behind sexuality is anger.
Unless a person is ready to go deeper to release that energy, his BEING will be anger and therefore, his sex life will be manifested as anger as well.

This transformation is what Tantra is meant to assist, when the person is ready. The word “ready” doesn’t mean that “I think that I am ready.” It means that this person has gone through the range of experiences already and Life will support that change. Our experiences in Life are not random occurrences but carefully crafted, tailored for our growth.

Sexuality could be a source of frustration and a source of bliss. Sexuality could be a source of degradation and a source of wholesomeness and elevation. That is the range.
Humans keep creating “problems” by making that range dualistic: Frustration is wrong. Bliss is good… without realizing that every experience will change by itself (when the time is appropriate) as to complete the range of experiences.

We were born with certain gifts and certain handicaps; we could understand that. But truly, those are neither gifts nor handicaps but catalysts to experience an ever-dynamic Life.

Sexuality as spirituality, does not start in a Tantra retreat. Tantra is not meant for those who can pay for a class but for those who are “ready.”
Sexuality is “output.” “Input” is what we ARE.