“What do I have to DO to become a better human being?”
DOING does not get you there. Any doing will not allow you to see what you ARE now. Without acknowledging “now” there is only meaningless DOING.
Doing “nothing” is not as easy as we may think, when we have been conditioned to DO something.
Are you saying that I should become lazy then?
Observe how your mind is only capable of going through the extremes. If you cannot DO things, then you go to the other extreme, laziness.
That is how the mind works.
For example, if we talk about last year’s weather temperature, your mind will more likely remember 2 states: Cold or Hot. Nothing in between.
Anytime we go to extremes, we are running away from what is, from what we ARE.
You are overeating, then DO fasting.
You are a slob, couch potato; then DO exhaust yourself through exercises to lose weight.
You are a lusty, a DO sex human being; then DO practice celibacy.
You are DOING sins, then become a DOING saint.
See the game? That is the game of the mind. It is about running away from what we ARE, going from one extreme to the other searching for “happiness.”
A mind lost in that duality, divides itself into the “good guy” and the “bad guy.” That is the game of our human morality. It is about extremes, the Do’s and the Do nots.
That is why any DOING is incomplete, for NOT DOING will need to be experienced as well. That is the complete experience. Life is both, contradictory, paradoxical… That is any belief system which only chooses one side of the experience and label that “good” is truly not reflecting what Life is.
Life is like a pendulum. Any extreme we choose to go, is only the predecessor of the opposite extreme.
Our minds are taught to choose one extreme and avoid the other, even though the other extreme will be experienced.
That is how guilt appears, forgiveness arises, the sinner mentality creates a divided neurotic personality.
“But… what is the way out?”
Obviously is not in DOING.
AWARENESS is the key. To be AWAKE.
When you are awake, there is observation of that which we call “I.” The mind is the first candidate for that observation. Ego resides in that mind/body identification.
AWARENESS is not DOING, it is not a “practice.”
“Why do I need to observe?”
Because you may need to understand what is going on and not make a judgment value based on a morality which only knows about extremes, duality.
Be aware of thinking. Be aware of feeling. Be aware on how those 2 things start and finish, become conscious on how the “external” influences the internal and also the opposite… Become aware that the internal is the external, and the external… the internal.
Become aware that there is a moment when there are no thoughts, when the “I” is not… Do not verbalize it, do not put it in words, for otherwise that experience will be tinted with duality and any word you use to express it, will be far from “what is.”
Want to explain what is the experience of silence?
Say it! Whatever you say, it will be far from “what is.”
Perhaps, “lack of noise”? you have gone to the extreme in your explanation and you haven’t said anything of value for someone else who does not have the experience, to know silence.
That is the value of words. That is why the “truth,” BEING cannot be expressed in words.
Therefore, anything you say will not help you become a “better” human being, neither anything you DO… what matters is what you ARE and what you ARE is expressed in how you FEEL.
You are not rich or poor, handsome or ugly, educated or non-educated… those are only extreme, labels created by a mind who is not aware of the middle, the way out of the swinging of that pendulum of the mind.
That middle has the potential to be either extreme, and to BE there, in the middle… is to BE out of the duality of the mind.
That is the place to BE when you ARE.
How do you get there?
You just feel it. Feel to Be better. 🙂
Playing with Emptiness and Silence
Some write: “That is a special widget.” Others may write: “That is an especial widget.”
Who is right? Who is wrong? 🙂
Some may say that “special” is the same as “especial.” Others may say that “especial” is “specially special.”
That is the same with emptiness and silence. What monotheistic religions may call as “silence” is what non-deistic religions may call as “emptiness.”
When we become caught up in the words, we miss the experience that those words are trying to convey. Lost in words we may open a “discussion forum” to bring those “concepts” forward, without having the experience of what “holy people” and “sages” are trying to convey through dualistic words.
Have you felt emptiness as an ache in the chest? Have you tried to get away from that sensation of despair of “feeling empty”?
That is a sign that something is transforming. Any process of transformation requires the feeling of emptiness, but not so we run away from it or become “busy” by ignoring it; but to observe it and use that empty space to create new things.
This is what a sage calls: “Creative emptiness.”
The room was full of stuff. To transform it is to empty it. Once it is empty, then we can start decorating it, creating new things.
Being creative means to create from emptiness. Otherwise, we are just continuing a known theme.
Many readers may not understand some of the things being shared here. These readers may “study” these words for hours, they may have all their attention into these writings and are willing to understand them… These readers are pretty intelligent as well… How is it possible for them not to understand these things?
Because they may need to have am empty space in themselves so, these things could settle down.
How is that?
Have you ever been 100% in a religious belief? Have you ever been completely dedicated to a cause?
The room is 100% full. There is no empty space there to hold anything else… anything new. All we recycle is the same thing. The same dogma.
That is how when the stuff goes out of the windows and doors of that room, when we realize about becoming obsessive. A feeling of emptiness arrives and then… we kill it by distracting ourselves… by becoming “busy.” 🙂
When we step away and allow for some empty space, then something else could be understood. Therefore, to be empty is a requisite to understand beyond a superficial game of words or “concepts.”
Many times if we have an empty space and still we are unable to understand, the time will come when a particular experience will allow us to understand. It is a matter of timing.
That understanding is non-conceptual for it is part of our being.
That is why it is said that when we are completely empty, we are everything. That is the paradox of being and non-being.
Do we want to call that silence?
That is fine.
Is that silence an absence of words? No.
Is that silence and absence of thoughts? No.
Is that silence a feeling like peace? No.
That silence is an empty (silent) space in the room of the being. Unlearning has occurred and with that, the magic of transforming.
As thoughts let their space for feelings to arrive, that silence is no longer an experience to talk about.
It may become a room full of grateful feelings… but empty at the same time.
Every spiritual transformation comes alive once a person has experienced silence of the mind.
Any ideology could have great theory and logic behind their beliefs; nevertheless, in the “field” of inner transformation that emptiness or silence is the foundation for inner change.
Note that the words silence and emptiness are being used to describe the same thing. There is silence in emptiness. There is emptiness in silence.
Randy wanted to experience the “depth” of silence and went away for sometime into the woods in search of that precious silence.
Even though he was miles away from the multitude, his mind kept the noise, the thinking, the remembering situations, which was expressed in his changing mood throughout the day.
Noise was with him even though he was away from the noise!
When Randy finally recognized this constant inner chatter and became conscious of it; that was the first step into inner knowledge and his reward was the experience of peace of mind.
As days went by, Randy was aware of himself. Loneliness came to him. It was unbearable to be by himself without company, without anyone close to him.
Randy could have quitted that experience or become crazy, but eventually; Randy felt at ease to be all by himself.
As the sound of his mind diminished for no other thing around him could overcome his feeling of being at ease with himself; Randy developed a natural disinterest for the external world.
That is the first time that Randy felt calmness.
Randy developed love for solitude. Mingling with others is part of a healthy integration with all and necessary, but he developed the ability to observe before emitting any word to the outside world.
He acted and then observed some more, it was almost as if he was taking his own time for everything he did. That observation was non judgmental. It was appreciation.
Randy’s head was empty. He was in silence.
To learn to observe in stillness is a habit that some may call “meditation.”
For some, that period of meditation could be 20 minutes or less before the “symphony” of thoughts arrive again to move the “puppet” around. The “puppet” could be sitting still but his mind is going to places where “no man has ever been before.” 🙂
For Randy, meditation was to live life in that emptiness; that silence, in that appreciation where gratitude arises.
That emptiness is where all creativity resides. That is the space where everything flows, as it has to be. To tap into that emptiness is to find the reward of finally finding ourselves, which paradoxically means, the realization that there is no self.
In silence, “you” are not, even if you are.
The above is not logical. It is called paradoxical.
True spirituality is not logical, but highly paradoxical.
It is not theoretical, but it requires proof.
“You” are the living proof of it. 🙂
When it is difficult to smile…
Our experiences in life differ day by day. Some days we see a radiant flower in the middle of nowhere, at other times; it is about a gray cloud over our heads; persecuting us and waiting for the right moment to rain and thunder on us without mercy… 😦
In our society we have been taught to smile. To put the smiling clown face despite how we feel inside. “The show must continue.” Religions and “quick fix advice” recommend to give our sorrow to God or to “express our sorrow in a healthy way,” 🙂 because it is our “right” to be sad and besides, “it is normal.”
The “traditional” medical field will give us the “magical pill.” Take this colorful thing 3 times a day for a week and if your stomach survives the secondary effects and you do not feel sleepy; you will not be “sad” until the effect wears out!
Just like the Cinderella tale… Just return before midnight to live the magic!
Is there any way that we could deal with changes of mood by ourselves without relying on “something else”?
In life everything comes and goes. Today we feel “this,” tomorrow “that.” That is duality. We have been trained to select one side of it and avoid at all costs the other side.
Once we recognize that “things move on,” there is a chance to compose ourselves in the experience of our inner silence.
That is, “stop, close your eyes, clear your mind from thoughts, breathe in and out slowly, gently and purposely… just feel that inner wind of freshness coming from your heart.”
That is the 5-minute- quick- fix to regain sanity. Then, it is just acceptance of “what is.” Look at it. Experience that feeling completely knowing that it is “not you,” because “that” will go away; but it is an experience living or being alive through you.
This is the meaning of equanimity. It is acceptance of what is going on by just observing it. It is in that observation that whatever we are experiencing will not take charge over us.
Life will bring many different experiences, but as long as we are aware of our own “center” in silence, of that “5 minute fix to regain sanity,” little by little we will experience that which does not need outside things to feel content, to feel at ease and at peace.
The “trick” is just to be aware of that “inner in-built” serenity despite the outer dramas of life. Hold on to that, until the gray cloud goes away.
That serenity is bound to grow up in time so the “outer” will be just the “inner.”
Then, we can only be in equanimity.
To learn to clear our minds from thoughts, preconceptions, ideas, beliefs, traditions, dogmas and assumptions will give us the chance to experience what we “are” truly all about.
Harmonious movement: Take your time. Smile. Breath in. Clear your thoughts. That is it.
When you become acquainted with solitude, in that silence of being just with yourself, when the inner chattering disappears; that is the time when serenity arrives.
To maintain that state of being is a matter of becoming more and more acquainted with that solitude.
There is nothing to “do.”
Thoughts will be moving slowly, in such a way that we can perceive them passing by and to catch the dreamer, dreaming again without effort.
If we have the chance to sit by a park and just look at a tree; Is it possible to look at that scene without thinking about it? Can we stop counting the number of branches or the birds passing by? Can’t we stop thinking about anything else?
If we become acquainted with this state of consciousness of just looking, we will be able to perceive that all of that rush, all of that “being late,” all of that “having so many things to do and so little time,” all of that will vanish; because in the experience of that state of serenity there is peace, there is fulfillment.
We truly want that.
Then, this will become our priority without “effort.”
In that experience, we will automatically look for it and we will realize that there is no place to go, no belief to believe in, but just to be there, observing, feeling, smiling, moving in harmony, taking our time….
Just living life in calmness.
Early in the morning, when we wake up; we could sit, breathe in and out and acknowledge the little movie going on in our minds.
The minute we realize that “show time” is on again; that is the moment when the movie will finish. If we place our attention to that sacred moment when all inner chattering is gone; we are in a good position to discover more about ourselves.
It is in that calmness, in that serenity when our consciousness could open to experience something more.
It is in that space of solitude when deep changes occur.
Becoming acquainted with that solitude and that silence will turn little by little in a very fulfilling company.
We will no longer feel alone.
Question on loneliness and childhood issues
“dear bro, am I glad or am I proud n happy dat u happened! such a help n relief finally wen all my doubts cleared and gud feelings enabled esp pertaining to gyan. I really want to voice my feelings with u though about my life in one aspect- relationships. I hav never had parental love nor sibling joy inspite of having them in person, my friends always turned against me without a cause, everybody took advantsge of me and today I hav a loving husband but no family, nt dat i’m blaming anyone but I sincerely lack people in my life and feel very lonely, I wonder if this is drama…dat deemed me to live like this?”
Thank you for your kind words of appreciation. Likewise, thanks to readers like yourself is that this blog is still existing.
Let me answer your question from the beginning… 🙂
Gyan or any type of knowledge, is a conceptual vision of life, a road map; to allow you to see your path and how you fit in this world at this time. However, concepts are just concepts. Those concepts will not do a thing to change you and make you feel less of a lonely person. No matter how deep your understanding may be.
Gyan is intellectual but it will not do anything when you have emotions arising, complexes, and cultural upbringing deep-rooted in you which may be burying you, if you are unable to see the “bigger picture.” That is why, God is usually seen as the one who could provide “relief” in your life, emotional support, etc. However, the role of God has been misinterpreted as the one who provides those things which are lacking in us. That in itself is a handicap in our spiritual development. God and Divine energies provide protection while we grow spiritually, but we must do the walk ourselves and learn to supply those things which are lacking in us. We cannot pretend that others will supply that.
It is great that you realize that you had a childhood with issues. Now, look at them in silence, take sometime for yourself, run the “movie” of your own life and see those episodes using your current knowledge, Gyan; and then overcome those emotional issues.
How? By nurturing yourself with love and by giving that which you felt you needed to those who did not provide it for you. If you do not do the inner work first, you will be vulnerable. Realize the complex, realize the issues which made you feel lonely and left out which is hunting you now… even while having the company of a husband.
Once you resolve this emotional issue in yourself, you will see how your life will change, for you will be ready for something new.
When you don’t feel lonely anymore, you will be ready to give companionship to others, thus you “get” what you want from the world by giving that same thing to the world. That is the law of karma, so that is the Drama.
Question for June 17, 2013 – Jealousy
Though in gyan , sometimes the old sanskar of jealousy does crop up and i get into negative thinking , when “people close to me become close to others ” so after reminding myself that each one role is fixed in drama and i cannot expect ,i need to have a broad mind etc etc,,i tend to cope up of the situation.But i see bcoz of this dramatic hush of emotions ,i found that while in sleep ,have continuous dreams ,not able to wake up in the morning as the dreams are continuing….my question is what actually is happening and how can i change for better.
Thank you for your question.
Emotions are indeed a powerful means to re-live the past with added events or even to create anxiety about the future.
A strong emotion while awake could continue on while you sleep as dreams.
The issue is to be able to observe when an emotion comes up. For instance, your voice may change. You may become excited or physically you may feel a pain or a new sensation.
Most of the time, those emotions appear unchecked. The easiest way to become conscious of their appearance is to experience a peaceful stage. Allow yourself to experience aloneness, to be away from everything and feel that stage of being. For me, I find that when I am in Nature or after a profound meditation.
Maintain that stage of being as much as possible by being aware of it. Then, when an emotional trigger comes up, you will be able to realize that is there, because it changes the way you feel.
That is all. Once you know it is there; just acknowledge its presence. No need to call that emotion with names.
There is another way to go over emotions or the triggers of those things which cause emotions, and that is by experiencing “emptiness.” When you are “empty” those emotions will pass through you, so you will not react. That is your mind is calm to the extent that thinking becomes very slow, almost none and you are “busy” experiencing that “sweet” emptiness.
Let us talk about jealousy.
Jealousy is a sense of not feeling secure. It is fear in disguise. With jealousy there is a sense of wanting to posses that which we are afraid will go away or comparing with another and feeling “lower than.”
That sensation creates the emotion. If that emotion is strong, it will continue affecting you even through your unconscious.
Anything you may think about that “could happen” is just an illusion.
Trying to go across the river through your thoughts without actually getting into the bridge to go over, is an illusion.
To live in the past or the future are illusions.
em>Om Shanti Bhaiya.. I had written to you about my question in the last week. Can you please reply for the same brother.. I repeat my question : What is the difference between power and silence?
Your question has been answered here: