Spiritual gurus repeat this phrase as a mantra:
“All the answers are within. All you have to DO is look inside.”
99% of spiritual seekers know that phrase. Why on earth then, are we still looking for answers in someone else?
Have you ever asked yourself what is the answer of 3+4? Do you hear the reply within you? That is the mind answering. Those answers aren’t the ones needed in this quest.
I am referring to Life questions which pertain to something which the mind will not know, through some rational explanation.
For instance: Do I get married with this person?
If you are waiting for a “yes” or “no” that will be the mind answering based on likes or dislikes. That answer is not worth a peanut.
Do I become a plumber or a scientist? The mind will respond one more time, based on pure conditioning. A “scientist” may win every time, but do you have what it takes to be one? or is merely some “positive thinking” game?
As shared many times, Life doesn’t work through reasoning or logic as we humans desire. We may need to distinguish between “society” and Life itself. There is a difference. One is man made, artificial, emotional although we call it “rational.” The other is not.
The important questions in Life cannot be properly answered through the mind. We need to find another way. That is the most important step a seeker will have to find for himself. I call it “gut feeling.”
Funny, that is an “American expression.” “My gut feeling told me not to do that.”
There is no logic there. Zero personal gain or convenience involved.
Then, the win/lose question arises:
What if I listen to my gut and then the answer is “wrong” and hurt myself?
In Life, we will experience duality all the time. I may have chosen “the right” partner to live with, I may think “i was right” based on some human created standard; but there will be very challenging issues, which otherwise wouldn’t be there as a consequence of “my choice.” Those issues could be true tests which will require lots of strength to overcome. Then, I may think to have been “wrong.” Life is a circle.
We do not see the whole movie. We like to live with only a pic of a particular time, when I smiled in front of the camera and label that as “right.” If we were able to look at the whole movie of our lives, then we could make a “decision”, but then; that decision could only fit what we have seen.
Have you watched the movie: “Avengers: End game”? If Tony Stark (Iron man) knew beforehand that he was going to be the one sacrificing his Life to save humanity, he wouldn’t have done it. Too much to ask for a human! He has things to “lose” like a wife, a daughter, his money etc.
In no more than one second, he “made the decision” during the heat of the battle. It was a true “gut feeling.” No time to think. What a blessing!
Therefore; no one makes a “choice” in Life, knowing the end result. It is a gamble.
Nevertheless, a “choice” in Life, coming from the mind; is not truly fulfilling. It does not bring out our full potential. It is about what is convenient, comfortable for “me.” Conditioning.
Through the gut, we may choose a challenging situation rather than something easy and obvious. Personally, you may feel to make the “wrong” decision; but in the Unlimited, the Universe; that challenge was the “right” choice. Your capacity will be challenged and there is nothing more fulfilling in Life.
The answers are within once we learn to put the mind out of the driver seat, and listen to that feeling coming from the gut. That discovery is a process.
That “gut feeling” is the direct connection that we have with Life, with our mission; thus once we learn to listen, we will have an adviser with us. All answers are within.
The question is here:
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Thank you for your question.
It appears that you have an Indian background, where typically marriages are arranged and there is a negative stigma with being divorced. Here goes the small print before we start: Ahnanda does not give advice. Ahnanda only shares.
Clarity is brought through inner honesty. The mind does not know about inner honesty. The mind knows about compliance, convenience, tradition, among other things. Inner honesty is felt. We could choose to hear that and go for it (that is the hard part, to learn to listen without interference of the mind) and accepting all consequences. That will bring us a type of experience.
We could choose to ignore that inner feeling and go for the “Do what I am supposed to do” and also, accept the consequences. Which path is “better” ? None. It just depends who you ARE. Be honest with that.
That is the “clarity” that you were looking for.
Wouldn’t it be nice if you speak with your husband and let him know frankly, about the huge attraction that you feel for someone else? AND wouldn’t it be fantastic if your husband let you go with your attraction and allow you to come back to him if you wish since you have with him a “good life” already? Would that make you happy? Satisfied?
Many times, marriage turns into a license to possess another, but if we decided to play that game, we may need to play it until we call it quits. Don’t you think? You don’t mention if you have children. I am assuming you don’t.
Are you willing to give everything up for that attraction, not knowing how long it will last? Are you willing to stay stuck in a relationship without feeling fulfilled but comfortable? Rest assured that at least 90% of people have to answer that question at one point of their married lives.
What do you use as compass for your own Life? What do you believe is your purpose?
That is the important question, for that will bring you direction, clarity. Feel it.
In a previous article I shared what my friend Mathias mentioned about attraction:
” Attraction brings a collision. It is like a magnet. When that magnet attracts another object, a collision is unavoidable. Attraction has the ability to make someone lose their own essence. A “Life walker” does not reject attraction. He simply observes it in himself, smiles at the scene and continues on, not forgetting his life purpose. When a “Life walker” forgets his purpose for a few days, then that attraction will distract his mind, then his thoughts and his feelings will deepen that attraction.”
You have not mentioned if the other person feels the same for you. If you don’t know, then your mind is fantasizing. If you know he does, then are you willing to take the chance? It may work or it may not. You may be more miserable and your mind will make sure to complain about that later and blame your situation to someone else. But perhaps, you will be satisfied to follow that huge attraction. However, rest assured that something else will not go as you expect it. Guaranteed.
What do you want out of Life?
Children? Sexual fulfillment? Romantic love? Let that be your compass. Once you know, allow for Life to show you the path and be willing to accept it for that is what your heart desires: That experience.
Observe that you did not go with what you felt when you decided to get married. It may be that you accepted a tradition or your family pushed you into it; however; learn about the consequences of going with something which we do not feel 100% sure, although our conditioned mind may tell us that it is “best for us.”
Finally, know that there is a difference between feeling from the gut and the heart vs. an emotional outbreak like an attraction. In the world of duality you cannot have it all. That is the dream that many have bought into.
Don’t follow your dreams. That is conditioned utopia. Follow your compass, your purpose. Not what the mind tells you, but what you feel from the heart without distortion from emotions or mind games.
All the best.
Through contemplation in Nature, we could understand that there is no straight tree or straight line, no matter how straight it seems to be. Nevertheless, we seem happy with the ideal of a straight line.
We live in a world of ideals. We strive to reach those, but we will always be short. Ideals are unreachable.
The ideal of having a mind capable of completing all tasks with accuracy is broken, when several tasks appear at once.
Ahnanda: “ The world is in a hurry. Here, it is easy to lose focus and forget. My mind is focused on a task but then the phone rings and as I answer it, another person appears taking my attention, at the end; I forget to complete my former task. That juggling of many things at once is stressful. Frustration may set in followed by some anger.
Is there a way to focus the mind and not lose my cool?”
Mathias: “That is a matter of knowing priorities. Take your time. The world may be in a hurry but not you.”
Miguel: “That which has attraction will take your complete attention.”
Mathias: “Always find beauty, even if what is in front is referred as ugly. There is something there to be appreciative about. Find it. Feel it. That will keep your mind focused.”
Ahnanda: “ That reminds me about the symbol of yin and yang. There is a small black circle like an eye, in the large white area and vice versa. That means to me that there is a seed of beauty in ugliness and ugliness in beauty, for one side fuels the other.”
Miguel:” While in contemplation, find beauty then feel it with your senses, finally feed yourself with that experience. Make it part of you. Integrate it.”
Although the ideal is that beauty is completely different than ugliness; in Life itself both perceptions are mingled together, they originate each other, feed each other. The mind lives in the world of ideals. The mind looks for what is attractive, beautiful and typically, rejects that which it considers ugly. That rejection preserves a recurrent experience.
A man may look for a beautiful woman. Interestingly, I have noticed that once that experienced of greater beauty has saturated his mind, an increasingly less attractive person will be looked for. The mind knows extremes. That saturation is synonym with obsessiveness, which degenerates into compulsiveness. It is a disease of the mind.
Life supports what is complementary to create unity. However, we don’t. We seek distinction, uniqueness through separation.
Distinction of what? Our own ego to embellish it.
That separation ends up in isolation. Interestingly, that is the time when we look for meaning in Life.
Will be taking a break until May 30. Until then! 🙂
A: “God is our creator and he gave us free will and eternal Life!”
B: “Why do we have to believe that we were created?”
A: “Look, if you see a pretty house in the mountains, you will ask yourself: who created this house? Right?”
B: “Not necessarily. Perhaps the house was always there. Matter cannot be created neither destroyed, it can only transform. Correct?”
A: “Someone had to build it!”
B: “Who created the builder? “
A: “God. He always existed…”
B: “Why don’t you ask, who created God as well?”
The paragraph above was a paraphrase of an actual exchange. When we live in the mind, what is important is the concept, to “get I right.” The mind cares about “answers.”
When we live in the heart, that conversation has no meaning. There is a pretty house in the mountains, then appreciate it, enjoy it, get some feeling out of that experience which in turn will be like “spiritual food.” That will nourish you and consequently, those who are close to you in that experience. That is the “answer.”
“Who created it?” That question, even though “logical,” “reasonable” (traits of the mind) takes away the beauty of the scene for a moment of “full mind” which by nature, is never satisfied. The mind cannot get satisfaction.
Have we observed a person who apparently has everything going for him and who is not satisfied? He is living in the mind.
When I started my “spiritual career,” I too asked: “Who created the Universe?” I knew through religious conditioning that it was “God.” Also, I knew through “scientific” conditioning that there was the “Big Bang.” Somehow none of those “answers” fulfilled me. It was an empty repetition of things which are beyond my practical experience. Plain beliefs. The mind likes to take us into empty rides. We come back empty handed. An “answer” made up of words is as empty as an empty stomach, however, we feel the emptiness of the stomach, it is “real.” Words are not.
Now, proudly after some years of “search,” I could say that: “The Universe/ Life is there. Enjoy it. Appreciate it. Truly.” No questions will come up to the mind.
Life, the Universe, God… those are words to express “mystery.” It is a beautiful mystery. Anything that we would like to “explain” about them, will be always short, always inaccurate, always dull… but yet; some of us “think” to “have the truth.”
That is the greatest hallucination someone living in the mind could have about Life.
However, it is part of the journey.
BEING in the mind, the heart and the gut. Those are the 3 stages of Human consciousness.
The experience is very distinct. Ahnanda is currently in the heart and after this experience is over, the gut will follow. Ahnanda is knowledgeable of the mind, as he has gone through it.
Raysha, Mathias, Miguel and Ahnanda where sharing experiences in a nearby park.
Miguel told Ahnanda: “ Now you are in the heart. However, you could go back to the mind unless you feed the heart with gratefulness and appreciation.
In you, there are 2 little dogs: The rabid dog (mind) and the happy dog (heart.)”
The rabid dog is reactionary. Trying to control things, violent with others and the self. The rabid dog compares all the time and measures how ahead he is in relation to others. It is angry if it finds out, others are better off.
The happy dog is placid, content within itself. Void of judgment. It observes and becomes amazed at Life.
Miguel continued: “The mind will try to gain control as it has done it for many years of your Life.
This new game that you will play is called the “jumping rope.” At one extreme is the rabid dog holding one side of the rope. On the other side, is the happy dog. Your task is to jump the rope at the right time, otherwise; you will be totally entangled and even could fall… “
Ahnanda said: “ I have experienced that I cannot analyze things anymore. If I go to the market to buy things, it is hard for my me to add up numbers and even I am becoming forgetful of things. Is that part of the process?”
Mathias responded: “ The mind is upset. If you don’t want to give it control of things, then the mind wants to see what can you do without it. Just talk to your mind and say: If you don’t want to help me with the tasks that you used to, that is fine. I am working on prosperity, so if the salesman says that the final price of all things I buy is something, I just accept it, pay and move on.”
Miguel added: “ In this new game you will need to learn to identify the mind from the heart, on the fly. Thus, take a moment before responding, pass some saliva through your throat and then respond. Your reaction will seem slow to others, but it will be conscious and that will avoid many unsavory episodes.”
Mathias then said: “It is important to remember that what you DO is not as important as BEING conscious of who you ARE while DOING.”
Life makes sure that Ahnanda obtains the necessary “tests” to learn to distinguish those 2 little dogs.
Contemplation is the tool to look at the self. Not to find mistakes and feel guilt as the mind likes to do; but to recognize who was there in “Me,” and how those energies get triggered. Contemplation is the “scientific lab” for that.
BEING in the heart is not a “lovey dovey” story. It is the experience of no-mind. Ahnanda has found out through his own experience that to BE in the “now” is impossible, when we are consciously located within the mind.
The mind only knows past and future. The heart only knows “now.”
Raysha and Ahnanda were contemplating in a park nearby.
A scene appeared while they were enjoying the setting: A dog was viciously chasing another, persecuting that poor, smaller dog without mercy. Running fast across the park , we could hear some growling, barking and noises of distress.
Mathias asked Ahnanda: Do you disapprove that scene? Do you feel annoyance towards the bigger dog? What do you feel?
Ahnanda replied: I feel sorry for the smaller dog. I feel some anger towards the big dog. He is a bully and feel like Captain America once said: “ I don’t like bullies.”
Mathias replied: “As it is outside, is inside. Look for the personal message. The bully is your mind going after your heart, without mercy, without compassion. Knowing this, do not reject your mind by trying to control it. Gain consciousness of this fact, so the solution arrives all by itself.”
Part of the journey of self-realization is to gain a complete awareness of mind and feeling. Most individuals are unaware of this.
For instance, whenever we feel angry, annoyed or irritated about something we may not notice the bothersome sensation of invisible words in our mind; or sometimes full sentences, of the “little voice” speaking to us which we typically call “I.”
That voice drives our feelings. That voice is so strong that supersedes the way we feel. When we start distinguishing the voice of complaints, name callings, self-righteous beliefs from what is in our hearts, we have made a tremendous progress in “spirituality.”
Usually the heart is settled in its own peace, amazement and wonder, whereas the “special effects” are made by the mind. Those “effects” are highly biased by our conditioning, what we believe to be “right.”
Any episode in life is void of commentaries. No interpretations needed. A sharp individual will distinguish the messages which Life has for the self.
“Outside is a reflection of inside”, thus; outside shows what is inside.
Compassion is the way to look at “reality” rather than with anger or irritation.
The dictionary equates compassion with pity. That is not the meaning of compassion.
Gentleness to all. Unconditional acceptance. Those are better words to describe “compassion.”
The hunter and the prey are one unity. Just like compassion and irritation.
In fact, part of my own development with guidance of my “special” friends, is to observe how my repressed anger, irritation or annoyance vacates my consciousness, and turns into natural compassion.
Religious beliefs will label anger as sin. Nevertheless, without previous anger or rather forms of it (irritation, annoyance, exasperation) there is no material for compassion. “Vacating” anger into compassion is what is known as “transformation.” This happens when we become aware and filter the emotion by making a “somersault” of consciousness in the moment, the “now”, when irritation is happening, and observe with compassion.
Those who do not understand the laws of duality in Life, will merely “practice” compassion. That may be helpful, but it is fake. Just like a placebo.
In fact, without a deep understanding of our “reality” of duality, none of the above will make sense.
That is why, many believe compassion to be something to practice, or they will equate that with pity as the dictionary describes.
The words in the dictionary are poor tools to understand what is beyond understanding.
We have to feel to understand and we can feel, when we are AWARE.
Some individuals will walk through a spiritual path. There, they will learn about their own “weaknesses.” That is the typical label used to recognize those aspects which need “improvement.”
Others however, feel alright as they are. They are pretty sure it is others who cause problems and in turn make them feel upset, mad, angry, unhappy, etc. These people only react to the stimuli. Thus, a step forward in inner knowledge will be to realize that those emotions are within and triggered from without.
Those inner emotions have been labeled with a negative connotation: They are called sins, vices, etc.
The “spiritual game” consists on how to get rid of those “bad traits” and install the good ones, so we could “improve.”
On that end, many inventions have been made. There are confessions of sins, yoga with God, penances, positive thought, etc. Nevertheless, nothing has a lasting effect.
Why is that?
Emotions need to be expressed. We cannot get rid of them by DOING something.
A sad person cannot become truly happy by applying some positive thoughts.
A person feeling guilt and shame, will not be able to be free from those emotions by confessing them.
The typical stereotype of many “spiritual” individuals is: Reject those traits which are considered negative and only allow those things considered positive.
Instead, we may need to learn to express all emotions. Emotions are like water streams, they will run its own curse; however, we do not allow them to fully express, thus; we stop the flow and let those emotions stagnate in ourselves. That is what is known as a trauma.
Obviously, the full expression of some emotions will be detrimental to some members of society. If I feel angry, it will be detrimental to hit someone to express it. However, I could hit a punching bag instead, to my heart desire.
I could express sadness in the privacy of my bedroom and so other emotions as well, once I am AWARE of them. Once they are expressed, the water stream is gone. Just do not use your mind to bring that stream back.
We can feel guilt. Let it go by forgiving yourself, otherwise it will stagnate as self punishment, even though we may not be aware, it remains in the unconscious.
Children will use this principle of letting go. They do not reject or repress emotions. Those are fully expressed and gone. As grown ups become more complex and rigid, there is a need to create an outlet for them.
Although, the above may not be considered appropriate by some, all I have to say is that we cannot interfere with emotions as we see fit. That is utopia, and that has been mainstream teaching due to the mentality of “black or white” morality. A repressed emotion will be detrimental for our well being.
Life uses all emotional energies to express through us. Light cannot exist without the possibility for darkness. To know our best means to equally know our worst. That sort of knowing is experiential, it comes through observation, awareness.
With emotions, express them and once expressed, let them go. Emotional healing means to let go.
We live life just to go away. The candle is lit just to be extinguished. Emotions are meant to pass by, once they arrive.
Observe the game to play it well.