Life is not interested in our moral standards. Conditioning dictates what is moral and what is not.
Morality has utility in our society and that is the extent of it. To follow our laws and commandments is not a sign of sainthood. It is merely a convenience, to be able to live with others in society.
To be “holier than thou” is only a belief to enhance a petty ego.
What is “right”?
It is what you feel. Sounds easy, but it is often misinterpreted.
What “I” feel is not necessarily what is convenient for me. It is not what my mind tells me. It is not what my conditioning tells me is the “right thing to do.”
It is very hard to explain something where the mind is not. As we have lost touch with the reality of Life, we can only understand the reality of our society, that is the overuse of the mind.
I recall the tale of 3 monks crossing a river. A prostitute was there at the same time and had serious trouble. The commandments of “holy men” forbid monks to engage with women, even more so ; if women are “impure.” Two monks decided to follow their commandment. They were DOING “good” accordingly. One monk however; decided to help the woman. This monk was chastised by his peers for not following the code.
We are conditioned to ask: “Who did the “right” thing? Who was “wrong”?”
The 2 monks following their moral codes, did right. The one following his heart, did right as well. How is this so? The monks obeyed their conditioning. What else could these monks do? The other monk, went with his feeling defying his conditioning. To go beyond our conditioning is “good.”
What action was done for the common good?
We may need to ask the woman. She was appreciative with the unexpected help of the monk.
In society, these 2 “firm” monks may get medals, recognition, etc. In Life, these 2 monks will get more chances to realize their rejection until they become rejected by others.
The unusual “rebel” monk will get rejected by his society for “wrong doing,” but in Life; he is earning the rare opportunity to be one with Life.
We may choose to behave like the “rebel” monk because we may believe that the return given by Life is “better” and “holier” than the one offered by society, but in THINKING in that way, we are only building up our own ego. Our own greed comes to the surface, although we may disguise it with pretty, honorable words to explain our actions.
Again, What is right is what I feel. What I feel may not be what “I like.” There may be uncomfortable consequences but yet, I will be at peace.
Peace goes together with inner honesty. Inner honesty resides in fully acknowledging our feelings.
We can only DO what we ARE. We ARE what we FEEL. That is the foundation of the “right” action. It is not to follow a commandment or a code of conduct, for in Life circumstances change. A commandment does not care about circumstances; the “reality” of Life. It only cares about its blind imposition. That is the violent side of a “good thing”; the unrighteous side of what is deemed “right.”
Until January 2019. Have a happy new year! 🙂
The address of this site will change next year to : explore7.wordpress.com
I am this. Tomorrow I will be better. That is not real in Life.
What is “real” is I am this. Period. End of report.
Tomorrow, I will not BE. Someone else will BE.
Truly, every time we go to bed to sleep, someone else awakens. We are unable to sense the changes for those are minimal, but they are happening until we realize one day, that we are not “kids” anymore. That usually happens when others use labels to put us into a different box (the grown up sticker), then we become aware of the changes.
Observe a “spiritual individual.” He is applying the “concepts” he learned in society into “spiritual things.” He wants to be “better.” He wants to progress “spiritually.” He wants to feel “happy.” He wants to be “self-realized.” He wants to know “God.” He wants to be “special.” So many respectable wants! He couldn’t reach similar greedy goals in society, so he is turning his vision of “progress” in the afterlife, because it is “better” for him. He is not “worldly anymore, he is spiritual, more evolved, better.”
How can we learn to enjoy Life if we are in continuous pressure to achieve? How can we enjoy Life if progress is the aim?
The mind fantasizes in the future and the past. Through “progress,” we are continually feeding that illusion. “I want to be” something “better”; thus, I need to fix things. Let us start with “myself.”
“Fixing” happens in society not in self-help. “Fixing” in self-help is to be AWARE but before, we may need to acknowledge who we ARE. The type of “fixing” taught by society only cares about ideals to “work on.” Thus, we are taught to criticize others and ourselves for not being according to an ideal, “the ideal.”
That type of “fixing” does not bring progress. It brings rejection of who we ARE.
When we reject ourselves, we cannot love ourselves. Without that, we cannot love others. Thus, “fixing” things in us, becomes rejection. When we acknowledge and become aware of who we ARE, there is “fixing” without trying to fix anything. That is true “fixing,” progress. When we try to “fix” by DOING things to fit an ideal, we reject what IS. That is not progress.
We hear that to live in the “now” is good. However, the mind cannot live in the “now.” Have we become AWARE of that? Living in the “now” is in no-mind.
In no-mind, there is “fixing,” there is “progress” for awareness resides there. However, when the mind is involved through thinking, analysis and comparison; any type of perceived “progress” is only self-rejection, a sin against the self.
AWARENESS is in no-mind, for if the mind interferes pretending to be a presence witnessing Life, then the mind is playing the game of pretending to be what it cannot be. Are we aware of that?
If we are not aware of the workings on the mind, how is it possible to “progress” spiritually?
Not possible, but yet new ideals to reach, to “work on” will come to the rescue. New ideas, new “tips” and methods to follow will be invented. We do not realize that all of those things are meant for the mind and whenever there is mind, there cannot be awareness nor “progress.”
By becoming AWARE of the workings of the mind, we make a significant step forward. “Spiritual progress” is there without looking for it, thus; true progress, for otherwise; it is only another empty goal of the mind, the “I.”
What does physical exercise has to do with “spirituality”?
This is not some training with nonsensical “3 sets of 10” without any “reason.”
We have a body. Bodies are designed to move and require “maintenance” to enjoy Life to the fullest. That is an obvious “reason.”
What is not so obvious is that part of the teaching that any seeker will need to go through, is called “conscious movement.”
That means that our movement will need to be slow enough so we can be AWARE of it. That is, our mind will need to be empty of thoughts (BE in the now) so we can be conscious of what we are DOING.
If we walk “consciously,” we will notice the swing of the arms and the position of our body as well as any sensation of stress, anxiety or pressure. Only if we NOTICE, if we are AWARE, we could correct this; otherwise, it will go on hurting ourselves. Once we make something into a “bad” habit, correction happens through awareness while in the moment, the now. It is instantaneous.
Although the mind would like for us to BE unchanged; reality is that the body ages, the body will not need the same amount of exercise as before, nor the same amount of food to eat. If the mind takes over, then that person will try to keep up with the past. The idea of “performance” will take over and eventually, the disappointment of knowing that “ I am not the same.”
That is a great “spiritual” realization. We are never the same. Is the body deteriorating? Only in the perspective of continuity; but truly we ARE different at every moment. Choose your perspective.
For our society, we will do great in Life, if our changes in time are very close to that “younger” photograph of the past. That is a hurtful fiction.
When I observe people exercising, typically their movements are automatic. They do not FEEL the movement of an exercise, but merely go through the motions. They want to “get something” rather than enjoy the experience of movement, the little rush of endorphins running through and the overall feeling of wellness. “No pain no gain” is their motto. No wonder, that is the same way most look at Life. It is a painful “gain” of unaccomplished illusions for them.
As we grow older, the value for conscious movement increases. We could maintain a “good shape” by moving consciously, that is by slowly feeling the muscles involved in a particular exercise. There is no need to count (mind game) the number of sets and repetitions, there is only a need to be AWARE when the muscle fatigues.
Exercises for flexibility (stretching) and with your own body weight are helpful to be physically fit. Walking or swimming are great cardio complements of a healthy routine. The emphasis is not on going “fast,” but in becoming fully aware of the movement.
This little “practice” will prepare us to become acquainted with our own feelings in the “now,” and to perceive how these influence our bodies. That will allow us to recognize emotions as they appear in our lives. As we become AWARE of them they could lose power, as we could become witnesses of our own existence. Then, when we observe our role in Life, we are not identified with it. Then, we could take things calmly, take our time and enjoy Life!
Now, that is “spiritual.”
“I” don’t like suffering, but there is suffering. The mind asks: Why is there suffering? Then gurus, priests and authorities, “experts,” will come up with an “answer.”
Sometimes it is “god” looking out for you and saving you from further suffering. “He” has a plan for your life. Yes, “he” has a plan for millions of people and there is a happy end for all, just like a cheese movie. Have faith. Believe. Join the religion of “chosen ones.”
Other times “Life is suffering.” It does not matter that this phrase was ill translated. As long as the Buddha “said it,” we should feel good. After all, if the Buddha felt that, then we are along his path, we are in the same wavelength, in route for self-realization…
Other times, it could be another story and we will be ready to believe in it as long as “I” get something out of it. Heaven at the end sounds good. Salvation is always desirable. A life of everlasting bliss in the company of “God,” (the main boss out of all the little ones) will surely get us many “upgrades” from our current “normal” story.
But if someone says: There is suffering because there is happiness. That is duality 101. Then, that does not get any believers. It is too simple buy yet cloudy. There has to be much more in the story, we want some mystery followed by drama and then a happy end where “I” will be the main character, where “I” will rise victorious among all the evil doers …
Life brings happiness and because of that suffering. In the world of duality, that is expected. We don’t want suffering? Then happiness will not be there either. That world is something that we cannot understand. We haven’t experienced it.
Did I offer any “solutions” for your suffering? Any tips? Any ways to handle it? Any ideas on how to get rid of it? There are plenty of books on that. Plenty of fairy stories to make us feel “good,” for at the end “spirituality” is about handing us some tissue paper to dry up our tears, something to make us feel good, just like when Mama used to hand us a glass of milk after we fell down from roller skating. Right? We are truly looking for something to make us feel good, even if a “white lie” as we cannot handle what IS.
OBSERVE your suffering. Become fully AWARE of it. OBSERVE all the movements of the mind to try to get out of it, OBSERVE all the explanations and the ways to save face that will appear.
Physical suffering will not leave a trauma. It happens and we learn to be careful and avoid the same. However, psychological suffering will leave all sorts of trauma, all stories of the “poor I,” and how much “I” had to suffer and put up with stuff. Don’t we like stories!
There is the story of salvation, redemption, the origin of the Universe, Godly creation, etc.
Eventually a psychological trauma will need to be left behind. Otherwise, we are stuck in Life; unable to move on by continually regurgitating sad stories and increasing bitterness in our mind. That type of exercise, is definitely “bad” for our health.
Events in Life are to be experienced in the moment. It is like eating a cake. If we don’t experience its taste while we are eating it, then how can we enjoy it? Our mind wants to take the experience with us, we could take a picture, talk about how wonderful the cake is, without realizing that we are eating!
Smell it, taste it, look at it. That is the now, the moment to taste and be fully AWARE of it.
Alright, it could be a rotten cake. However, haven’t you experienced a new flavor? Isn’t that a unique flavor? That is it. Move on.
But no… we want to enhance the story. We make the trauma. How is it possible for me to eat that “garbage”? Don’t we feel insulted? Cheated?
To spice things up; every time we eat a cake, let us bring that story up. Better yet, every time we go to a restaurant. The trauma is building up, it is in crescendo…
Our capacity for suffering is the same as our capacity for happiness. Life will give us the experience that we can handle either side. Any duality is complementary of each other. The full range of one side of a duality means the experience of the full range of the other side.
In the world of duality, nothing lasts forever for there is continuity, movement. Life is change. Every moment is unique and deserves our full AWARENESS.
Isn’t that a wonderful thing?
Most Humans at this time are out of touch with their sense of “self” but paradoxically, there is selfishness without awareness of it.
No wonder, an opinion from someone else, whether from a “teacher,” a “guru,” a “scientist,” a “priest” etc. becomes the yardstick to measure our own “goodness” or “worthiness.” We live through the perceived acceptance of others rather than through our own experience. Why? Because we want to be “right.” It is that fear the one that will not allow us to OBSERVE.
For those “practicing” “sacred” sexuality, not to ejaculate becomes important. Those who do not practice this, are engaged in “mundane” sexuality, that means the opposite extreme.
For the common man, that desire to become “better” brings its own issues. He IS not ready yet but, the IDEAL becomes important in order to be “right.”
READY means that this person is in a process of dissolution of his own “darkness” or “shadows” or “hang ups,” etc. That is a “spiritual” man. As those emotional burdens clear, then all the internal sexual channels will align and energies will flow with ease. Most, are not aware of this. Most believe that their “success or failure” is in the tip of their penises!
For that “spiritual” man, the question of “ejaculation or not” is of no consequence. Naturally, this man will be able to regulate his sexual energy. He does not need to think or “practice” a technique.
In fact, this man could have as much sex as he wants and ejaculate when he wants. That is what for most is labeled as “mastery.”
It is obvious that a “normal” man will only try to imitate something that he IS not READY. That imitation will not be a source of joy but of worry and guilt.
When a man IS in that state of inner work with his own shadows, then sex IS “sacred,” for this man IS “spiritual.” That is how sexuality and spirituality meet.
Observe the emphasis on “techniques” of those who ARE not there. Observe the hypocrisy of those who believe to have “conquered” their own devils. Sex will show where they are, without a doubt.
The “normal” man may need to ejaculate every time he has sex to feel fulfilled. The “normal” man may need some sort of regulation so he does not deplete himself from his own vitality. The “normal” man may need “practice,” to emulate what he IS not.
When someone joins a spiritual group and he is forbidden to experience sex or to ejaculate, that is the effort to copy some IDEAL that is not truly REAL. The “normal” man IS not there. “Practice” means to add a layer of repression, self-denial and self-righteousness; that is to increase the “shadows” within. That is not “bad,” as long as we are AWARE of what is happening.
In Life, everyone is different and whenever someone gives a concrete “answer” or a “solution,” that person is only reducing the ample spectrum of possibilities. That question whether to ejaculate or not, shouldn’t burden our minds. Become AWARE of the FEELING. How do you feel in the moment, the “now”?
Be your own teacher by learning to be your own student. Listen. OBSERVE. Become AWARE of your own mental games, needs and wants. Acknowledge CHANGE within, so the “answer” given yesterday could be changed into something new today.
The question whether to ejaculate or not, is a mental problem made by those who are more concerned in being “right,” than to learn about themselves.
For those who are AWARE, “mistakes” are necessary steps to learn. But for those who are not aware, “mistakes” are an enhancement of their own silliness.
Observe that “mistakes” could be “good” or “bad” depending on who you ARE. The same is in sex, in love and in Life.
However, in our society; what we DO is deemed more important than who we ARE. That is how dishonesty increases. That is how we copy the actions of others believing that by DOING those, we become the same. That is an illusion.
Acknowledge who you ARE. Learn from it.
“I myself have the habit of worrying and causing anxiety to myself. Can you shed some light on the root cause of worrying and how can I heal myself and bring myself out of it. As you mentioned, first step is observation. Would you discuss more ?”
Thank you for your question.
We have been conditioned to believe that we can deal with Life with a methodology, steps to follow. We are looking for a root cause of things, believing that we can get rid of it, modify it at will, as when we deal with things in our society: To accomplish something in society may require steps; “real” Life does not work that way. Otherwise, psychologists should had provided with “methods” to get out of worries and anxiety long ago, but that is not the case.
Emotions, psyche and any personality “gifts” that we may have and society overvalues or despises, are part of Life. We believe that we are separated from Life and that “I” can make deep changes in “me,” to change things the way “I want.” We need to find out the extent of that belief.
That is the first thing to realize.
The second aspect, is that words do not solve anything. For instance, the root cause of anxiety and worries is an over importance of self, as the center of the Universe. That importance is created in the mind and that “program” drives our memory “chip.” Take away the memory chip and you don’t know who you ARE, then anxiety and worries are no longer there. Can we remove the “chip” at will?
That “understanding” of the “root cause” will not solve the issue of anxiety or worries. Do we see that? However, some people will make themselves unconscious through heavy drinking or the use of drugs or any other “easy fix,” not realizing that all they are DOING is removing that SELF from the picture. The memory chip is temporarily removed in a violent way, with consequences; of course.
Third, when we have a “goal in mind” such as getting rid of anxiety and worries, THAT will not allow us to OBSERVE what IS.
When we OBSERVE what IS without verbalization, without trying to compose paragraphs to explain to others what “I realized,” then; OBSERVATION is happening.
I could feel my shoulders tighten up. The AWARENESS of that feeling in itself, will allow a sudden decompression. I do not have to mentally repeat “ I want to relax” or “my goal is to be relaxed.”
An episode of worries and anxiety comes to your Life. Are you AWARE the moment these things arrive? If you are, then notice the extent of importance that you give to “your” thoughts.
Notice the IDENTIFICATION of those thoughts with “YOU.” Notice how you BELIEVE in those thoughts and how they affect your emotional state into anxiety. Those emotions will feed further creations of thoughts and so on, increasing the “problem.”
If you were fully AWARE, then the grip of these episodes will loosen up, naturally.
In Life everything is gradual for otherwise, it could be violent. Thus, changes when natural; are gradual too.
When we are trapped in the same environment of noise, technology and over thinking, there is very little OBSERVATION that could happen. Even less AWARENESS.
If you remove yourself from that environment and spend sometime in a natural setting, such as the beach or a park (the more rustic, the better) and fall in love with that setting, then when you go back to the noise and “progress” you will be AWARE of the contrast, you will be AWARE of your mood changes and for how long you can remain “sane” before “insanity” arrives.
Thus, OBSERVATION improves when there is a CONTRAST experience.
As you could see, there is no “easy fix.” It is a journey, which you could only share if you are AWARE of the changes. There will be changes as Life is change. That is the guarantee.
You will need to BE your own detective to fully understand what I mean when using here the words OBSERVATION and AWARENESS; I suggest reading articles with those keywords in the search box of this blog. If you feel that I haven’t given a concrete answer to your question, here it is: OBSERVATION / AWARENESS is the cure. Higher doses of it, means a quicker “recovery.”
All the best.
Nowadays, bacterias and viruses aren’t the only providers of disease. The quality of our emotions will greatly influence our health.
Different emotions will trigger different chemicals in our body. When we are young, our bodies have the ability to hold on certain emotions, even though detrimental to our health. As we age; the importance of recognizing the flow of emotions in our selves becomes extremely important.
Anxiety, anger, worries, uncertainty, over thinking… all of those “modern diseases” will affect the quality of our health.
Every one of us may have felt these. These emotions are not “bad.” Those emotions need to be allowed to be felt but at the same time, they should be allowed to leave.
This is the key . We are not sponges. We are mirrors and as we self-realize, we become doors and windows.
We have been taught through many years of repressive “spirituality,” that we should not feel certain emotions. That practice will hurt us.
Observe Nature. A duck will fight with another duck. After that event, the duck will flap its wings. Then things will continue as “normal.”
It is true that in our society there are consequences for expressing our anger. There are “acceptable levels,” however; for a seeker it becomes important to OBSERVE the emotional energy going through us and create a “space” and effectively, disassociate from that energy.
For instance, in dealing with certain personalities, it may be important to show our anger. Nevertheless, our “liver” should not pay the consequences and our mind should not take that episode for the next day or week or month or year, unable to let go.
Things happen. It is a “now” thing. Afterwards, it is a different reality altogether.
When we are not OBSERVANT of the build up of emotions, we will identify with them, we will believe that “I AM ANGER,” “I was angry,” “You made me angry” we say rather than, “I FELT ANGER.” As it is felt, it goes away.
Flap your wings and let it go.
For many individuals, it is hard to eat after an episode of anger. If they eat, their stomach will feel upset. Others, are capable of enjoying their meals right after an episode of anger.
What is the difference?
The level of IDENTIFICATION. How much our mind recites the incidents? For how long? That is what we may need to be AWARE of, to OBSERVE in ourselves.
As we master this “skill,” there will be a level of energy “regulation” built in. This will arrive as we OBSERVE every episode in our lives rather than repress or label that as “this is good or this is bad.”
It is of paramount importance to learn to OBSERVE ourselves as if we were following someone else: We will notice movements, emotions, triggers, ego and we can contrast that with the certainty that Life is a game, for sooner or later; Life only reflects back our beliefs. Would you rather play or worry?
In Life, nothing lasts forever. That is a “good” thing.