Tantra is the discovery of our limiting personality. Thus, Tantra “opens ourselves up” in such a way as
diluting that which we call “self.”
In my experience, Tantra is the discovery of no-self. How? “self” will open until there isn’t.
Thus, Tantra cannot be for everyone. We need to be ready for it; otherwise, it will be misinterpreted as it has been the case.
Some believe that Tantra embraces debauchery. “Tantra followers get drunk, have all sorts of sex and eat meat as a way of finding enlightenment.”
That is a gross misunderstanding. Whoever “practices” that, does not know what Tantra is.
Tantra as a “spiritual” path will allow us to observe our repressions. For instance, a yogi (one who truly follows the path of yoga) does not drink alcohol. A yogi does not eat meat. A yogi does not have sex. If there is repression while following those “disciplines” (sadhana) when that individual changes to Tantra, it is usually to indulge in his repressions.
As our society is sexually repressed, the attraction of Tantra resides in the sexual aspect. Individuals will find that there is a “spiritual path” agreeing with their desires. Again, that is another gross misinterpretation, for their “real” objective is a license to indulge in their repressions, feeling accepted without the feeling of guilt.
For example, when we observe ourselves and discover that we are afraid of another color of skin, when we discover that we are not open to different genders, or nationalities, when we value a particular political party, ideology or religion and belittle others, when we criticize to support self-righteousness, when we discover that, we are in the path of Tantra.
However, one thing is to discover our hang ups and a different thing is when that grudge or trauma goes away. We can make ourselves believe that we ARE open to those issues but something inside us has resistance, rejection, then; we are being dishonest. It is just the mind accepting a new “program” but not the heart. It is the heart the one in need of “opening up.”
The first step is to discover. Life will give us the tools to change and transform those hang ups when we are ready, when our desire to transform is true just for the sake of it, and not driven by another desire.
In my opinion, many traumas, hang ups and grudges will need to go away BEFORE exploring our sexual aspect. For the heart needs time to open up and the mind needs space to lose its overwhelming grip on us. Then, we may discover what “making love” truly means. That is Tantra.
Without this previous “work,” we only have the “tantra” of techniques, sexual retreats, and massages.
The hang ups are still there, but with a new toy to play, a new label to use, a new source of palliative “self-help.”
In society, every repression or neediness we experience, may be a source of profit for others. Profit seekers may label that opportunity as “helping others.”
“Normal” consciousness can only perceive the physical aspect of sex.
“Normal” people will express sexuality mostly based on their lower energetic levels (Chakras.) That expression is raw, only concerned with the satisfaction of the sexual organs by getting rid of the “itch” of their own life force. That force lacks regulation to permit closeness and blissful enjoyment. It reaches a quick peak and explodes. Pornography is a good example: Protagonists are limited to the sexual organs. That “making love” is mixed with profanity, hitting the partner and even inflicting pain. That is fashionable, “normal” nowadays. There is nothing to condemn or to preach about. It only shows our collective consciousness, who we ARE. An “orgasm” becomes a power play. Unconscious shame and guilt of feeling pleasure, is masked in that act.
When the energetic expression is based on the heart (upper chakras,) sexuality has a different meaning. It is a slow dance. There is no goal just like in dancing. It is the dance of 2 beings becoming one.
“Teachers” will teach “methods” to slow down. They will give Do’s and Don’ts. The outcome is dishonest individuals, copycats who are hiding who they really ARE. If you are a “normal” individual you cannot pretend to be a heart focused person. Your energy is not there, no matter how many “methods” or “techniques” someone may follow.
If you are a “normal” person looking to experience something “great,” “better” or different, you are not acknowledging who you ARE.
When we know who we ARE, we can change. It is natural to change. Our society will teach us to DO things to make a fake change without spending time in our self-understanding.
For our society to have degrees and certifications in sexuality and spirituality is important to “know” and to “teach” others. If your higher chakras are not open, of what good your information, your knowledge is? You ARE NOT who you pretend to BE. That information will not help you to BE there. Only to DO things to look like you are there.
Do you want to be a great lover? Do you want the “secrets,” the “techniques”? No need to register for a class. Here it is:
Learn to love yourself. Start with your own body. That is very difficult when we have taboos and conditionings, so; the task is to learn about ourselves to decipher our own maze. That is where sexuality and spirituality begin in a holy marriage.
When we love ourselves, we can love another. Without loving ourselves first, there is no chance to share love with another. It will be fake. Sooner or later our true needy, traumatized self will come out.
Thus, human sexuality is the manifestation of who we ARE.
Observe the duality within your body. Your penis and your anus are sources of great pleasure but at the same time, it is a “normal” source of a feeling of disgust, for urination and defecation are also part of their function. A conditioning that “straight males do not mess with their anus” is there. Could you accept your whole body? Not mentally or verbally, but it has to be a change in BEING.
Do you love your own body? Do you touch yourself with care as to experience the pleasurable sensations that your body is capable of? Do you feel ashamed or guilty? Those feelings cannot go away with a simple understanding that our body is “good.” We have to go deeper emotionally. That is the journey.
Sexuality and Spirituality are intimately related. When taboos are no longer there, when our little conditionings are dissolved, we are free, open. Sexuality will show us our hang ups, our lack of openness, our fears… BUT, we don’t start with talks and techniques to touch ourselves or our partners “better.” We start with acknowledging who we ARE NOW and by discovering our emotional barriers.
Human sexuality is truly a gift to enjoy in our corporeal experience. That capacity of enjoyment varies among human beings: For some is none to negative. For others is greater to outstanding. That is the range of experiences. But for very few, it is a communion with the Universe. That is the most sacred act. Worthy of being depicted in a holy temple.
Will be on vacation until July 5th.
It came to my attention, that there was a sensationalist “news” that a woman “is having sex with ghosts and prefer them than humans.”
Those “news” have been existing for many centuries. “Ghosts” do not have physical sex organs but are able to give a woman a pleasurable time while men get caught up with the size of the penis as a sign of virility.
Those ghosts are called Incubus and Succubus.
Some individuals want to “try” this. These individuals have no idea as to why this happens, but they want some of that, for they are curious or perhaps they have an unfulfilled sex Life. Unable to be fully intimate with a person, a “ghost” will serve conveniently as a pleasurable “sex toy,” although with a hefty price.
When a person suppresses and represses different emotional aspects, that is a sign, that this person does not love himself. Their aura field, displays energy which is attractive to these “ghosts.” Those “ghosts” are not there to get “orgasms” with humans. They are there to feed themselves with the energy of their prey and in the process, change many aspects of the human they are using, including taking away their vitality.
Those “ghosts” are like vultures, scavenging from the sorrowful, repressed energy of some humans. That is their nature, thus those ghosts are not “evil” just like a vulture is not “evil.” In exchange, those individuals will be experiencing high levels of sexual pleasure, but there are some inconvenients:
“Ghosts” come and go as they wish. Typically they will disturb the deep sleep of their victims, that is when the victim is most vulnerable. Typically, victims will be perplexed as everything seems like a dream. As the “ghost” is accepted, then times will vary but the “ghost” is in control.
There will be a high level of addiction. Many will even confuse that with “love.” They even call that a “relationship.” All misleading terminology missing the “big point”:
There is no self-love.
To illustrate, these “ghosts” have visited many religious temples filled with nuns and monks over centuries. Their “holy” repression was an instant attraction for these “ghosts.”
There is nothing wrong with wanting to be celibate all your life. Nothing wrong with believing that this will take you closer to God. However, if we are not honest and we repress, then there will be consequences.
Since the immense majority of these experiences have no evidence for others to confirm, a “holy” temple could also be the biggest brothel, in the name of God.
Our society has another infantile idea: “The more a man ejaculates, the better.” Women may even count the times her man ejaculates. “Let us compare the numbers. Run the stats.” The hidden side of it is a lost vitality. As the man attempts to “impress” a woman (although the woman may not experience sexual fulfillment,) his vitality goes away as well as his interest for that woman. What is the consequence? He will look for another woman, for newness will inspire him to get back to the former “stats,” until one day there is no more “juice” to continue on. Then, a pill from science may do the trick and in the process, take away more energy from an already depleted man.
Sexual energy is the glue for a relationship of love, when there is full emotional involvement. For most, sexual energy is just another form of entertainment, a new way of excitement, something to try when it itches, like watching a renown, expensive play. How many times could you afford to watch an expensive play? How many times per week? We will lose money although we may enjoy ourselves; but in our sexual life, we are losing our energy, our lives.
That is how silliness entered our minds and labeled sex as “bad and dirty.” Some looking for a culprit, wanted to avoid ejaculation at all costs and yet others, wanted to forbid sexual pleasure and replace it with shame and guilt. All of that is in our DNA, for it has been going on for centuries.
As many things in Life, balance is the key, but there cannot be balance when we are addicted, repressed or needy. It is in that realization how we start our journey in Tantra, by healing those traumas first, and not by learning “techniques, methods and secrets.” Those are for childish minds.
What we ARE is the flavor that will be transmitted to others. What we DO does not bring flavor when our actions do not match who we ARE.
For most, sexuality is about physical attraction or an opportunity. These individuals usually are not aware of energies. That is fine. For others sexuality is an expression and the physical goes along with emotional closeness, for there is energetical compatibility. That is fine too.
Let me illustrate: Most “normal” individuals will eat junk food in a heartbeat. These are not aware of the consequences that this will bring later on, but they enjoy the moment. Enjoyment is good! Junk food is many times, emotional food. Others who are aware of natural food and the benefits of it, may not eat junk food. Junk food is naturally tasteless for them. They enjoy “healthy” food! Similarly, some may sleep with anyone in the name of “practicing” Tantra. Energetically junk food is OK for them. Others, may be more picky. All is good, according to our consciousness. But, if we crave junk food but repress it in the name of eating healthy, we may have created a problem for ourselves. Change from junk into healthy without repression, does not come solely through intellectual understanding. There has to be change of consciousness, otherwise; our repression will be hidden and growing.
Male ejaculation has become a “problem” nowadays, due to information shared by “masters.” We hear: Avoid ejaculation at all costs, that drains your energy. “Techniques” are sold for that, etc. If your BEING is not ready for that, it will be all about repression. Sex will not be enjoyable as a guilt trip is assured, if a “mistake” happens. A “master” is not made out of “practice” alone. If there was only “practice” and “Technique” rest assured, that individual is not a “master.”
It is very important to know where we ARE at a particular point in time. To look at ourselves and observe if we are repressing or indulging to the point of draining ourselves. If we are in the middle, know that this “middle” will change in time. It is a game of balance. To gain that sense of balance, is very important in Life.
The mind likes to ask questions such as: How many times is it OK to ejaculate per month?
Please forget about that. Learn to feel. If you are aware of how you feel, you will know. “Listen to your body.” If we depleted our energy, there are visible consequences. Using “scientific help” will deplete more what we have left. Naturally, celibacy is helpful at that time to regenerate our energy.
We have made sexuality into a problem. Rather, look at ways to change, to become less rigid about ideas of what “should be.” As we learn to accept ourselves and love ourselves starting from our bodies and the appreciation of the different feelings/sensations that our bodies are capable of, we could be ready to experience our own meaning of human sexuality. It is our own path after all.
Some individuals have the capacity to enjoy sex tremendously. Others do not. Once we realize that Life offers the whole range of experiences, then our labels of “good, bad, right , wrong” will be left aside. All it is needed from us at every moment, is to be completely honest with ourselves. This holds true with sexuality as with other aspects of Life.
We may need to remember that Life changes and so do we. It is natural. Only our minds will bind us to the way we were a few months ago. It is in that acceptance of change how a relationship could be built. Nevertheless, most are not ready for that. Most want certainty, security. These individuals demand that someone does not change throughout their lives… without a doubt, love cannot grow in that.
Love grows in uncertainty. That is the flavor of BEING.
Even today, there is a complete misunderstanding of human sexuality.
There is very little conscious experience of male sexuality. This time, I will share in a series of articles.
What makes me an “expert”?
I had the “normal” consciousness at one time in my Life. Now, it is different. Out of that change of consciousness there are many other natural changes including a different perception, experience and understanding of sexuality. Throughout reading the many articles of this blog, many will realize what I am pointing out. It seems as if 2 different people were writing here, although; it was just “me.”
In our society there is a reaction towards male energy. That reaction has taken the collective consciousness to believe that female energy is what we need at this time. The typical misunderstanding has placed a woman as the centerpiece on some religions and even “Tantra” teachings today. Please be aware that female energy is genderless. A male could have a predominant female energy as well as a female, male energy. Misunderstanding upon misunderstanding based on “research” of “normal” typical individuals is not the basis of the belief that human sexuality is like that. There is more to it.
A woman cannot understand the experience of a male. Similarly the opposite. Between males (whether predominantly female or male energy,) there is an enormous range of experiences that are possible.
Nevertheless, a different type of sexuality beyond the “normal” kind based on the harmonious exchange of energy of 2 different poles (male/female) happens when human consciousness changes. When we ARE ready.
Without this inner change, we are left with “techniques” and “rituals,” this is the game of pretending to be something that we ARE not. Spirituality and Sexuality are based on consciousness. Conscious awareness of energy. However, most are stuck in the physical attributes.
Therefore, it only makes sense to acknowledge who we ARE at this time, to value who we ARE at this time, to love who we ARE at this time, for a natural change to occur, free of traumatic experiences.
Our society sells performance and to be “better” all the time, without realizing that they are sending the message that as we ARE, we ARE not enough. This game of a donkey striving to reach the invisible carrot does not allow us to enjoy that which IS, right NOW… before it changes naturally.
The above is the foundation for Tantra. Without it, we are just dealing with mind games, as “teachers” are merely taking advantage of human weaknesses by merely promoting to indulge in sex, to a sexually repressed and spiritually unfulfilled individual. That game could be dangerous.
Sexuality is energy. It is that type of energy the one capable of bringing different types of experiences to individuals. That energy flows naturally from the pelvic region to the forehead, however; most “normal” individuals are completely unaware of this for their subtle “pipes” (nadis) are not “clean” enough. When this energy flows, the state of elation and bliss could be maintained longer which translates to a fulfilled, revitalizing act. However, for most that upward path is “clogged up” as a pipe which does not allow for water to flow upwards. The consequence is the explosion of that pressure on the pelvic region. That is what is known as “normal” for most. The label used is “orgasm.”
I want to clean my “pipes.” How to DO it? What is the “technique”?
If you are asking those questions, there is no understanding of what I conveyed above.
Only sharing for the common good.
We shall continue….
An air conditioner appliance has a filter. The quality of air going through it, depends on the filter.
Likewise, Human beings have a “filter” in their constitution.
If the filter is pretty “clean,” the experience of Life will be different than someone who has a somewhat “dirty” filter. Not “better” but “different.”
“Dirty” means more use. It doesn’t mean “bad.”
A “dirty” filter means the accumulation of the experience of suffering, through the acute consciousness of the “I.” Paradoxically, that is the natural path for “No-I,” a “clean” filter again.
The filter will clean itself, after being completely dirty.
How? Life performs the “magic” through unrehearsed Life experiences, when our time arrives. Dirty and Clean are the range of a full experience in Life.
The experience of sexuality has to deal a lot with that “filter.” Teachers are into techniques, methods, information to make the sexual experience “better” for their followers. There is no consideration of the “filter,” that is the types of experience that one individual is to experience according to his consciousness.
That game of people with “dirty” and “clean” filters, present an array of experiences in Life for humanity.
Every experience we experience, is related with someone else’s. We are all connected.
Awareness means to observe the direction that Life is taking us.
Many times, we want to go South, when Life is moving us North. Paradoxically, by going North, we will go eventually, South.
Once we are aware of the game, we will know how to play it, but what we know is only for us. Others have their own path.
In Life, there are no fixed rules. Fixation is merely a perception.
Even tough connected, we are alone. If you believe to be alone, you are missing the connection.
Wisdom is not attained. There is no achievement there.
Insight is not given in a “spiritual class.”
There is no religion or philosophical system that could offer wisdom, but conditioning through information.
There is no course or “certification,” that could prepare anyone to be a “spiritual guide.”
Living Life will unleash wisdom… little by little.
Living Life in awareness, will speed things up.
Therefore; in Life, we could go slow or we could go fast.
Either way we will get there.
Nowhere. A rat in a maze will run everywhere, “searching” for something. Awareness, will allow us to know that we are in a maze. What is there to search? The “exit”? Everyone will get there without “effort.” Thus, Enjoy the maze!
The “spiritual class,” the religion, the philosophical system, the spiritual certification, the course with the guru, will give you a destination, a “where to go,” Something to achieve!
The majority of “spiritual” people need that. Achieve by paying a fee.
Go through a door, here comes another. There are so many doors! Which one is the “top door” to achieve? What is the shortcut, the “right” method? Label every door: Level 1, level 2, level 3… just like a Nintendo game. Now we are going someplace! Although, nowhere.