Enjoyment of the movement of Life is the main requisite to “learn” about detachment.
Everything is change, constant change, to flow with that is to be all right with Life.
To trust Life.
As soon as a piece of “I” touches that continuous flow, that is the point where the “I” acquires some expectations which will give greater support to that sense of being “Me” different from everything else.
By all means, open all the doors that Life offers. Experience. The expectation to find something “good” for you in a particular door is the set up for suffering.
The “I” will experience exactly what it needs. It is that “knowledge” which brings the necessary trust.
When we trust Life, we enjoy it.
It is in that realization how we could observe that “making effort” to be “detached” in Life, is plain repression.
Of course, the above realization or description of “my” experience is not related with a religious or traditional view. This is not “spirituality for the masses,” for “everyone to understand.”
In my experience, natural detachment, which occurs out of enjoyment of Life and its changes, is a prerequisite to know Love; that is to dance with “what is” out of appreciation.
There cannot be “love” unless there is enjoyment of living. There cannot be love if there are expectations.
Lost in words, we could say “we need to be loving and detached.” That is just a description of a state of being, which cannot be attained by “doing” things.
Lost in experience, I could say… Just enjoy Life with its different experiences.
This is not something that happens out of following an artificial method or “making effort.” This is something that naturally occurs when we are enjoying the moment without caring about or labeling “how the moment is.” It is just the moment.
The “I” selects, rejects, accepts and judges every moment. As that “I” withers away, what is left is that observer who enjoys the “trip.”
A “detached observer”? or a “witness”?
It is an “Enjoyer.” 🙂
To be conscious, to be aware is a great gift. Do we take it for granted just because everyday we experience it?
Everything will change. Every moment is unique. Not special but unique.
Detachment and Love are not “virtues” to attain, to “work on,” to “make effort,” to know or to “practice.”
If we do that, we could merely repress our current state of consciousness.
Enjoyment of Life. That is the key. Everything else follows that.
Life is change. Enjoy the change.
Life is unpredictable. Enjoy that lack of certainty.
Life is … Forget the label and …begin to feel it, because by feeling it, there is nourishment and when we are nourished, we could give…. Love.
And just when we thought that we have “arrived” by “knowing the self” and its great amount of beliefs, ideas, biases, fears, judgments, expectations, disappointments, and so forth …which are obstacles in living life to the fullest; then we could realize that all of those things are truly what make up our personality, then in a moment of high “illumination” we could wonder: What could happen if all of that junk is miraculously erased from our minds?
Ah!! Then we become empty. Clean. Clear…. But only at the mental level. You see, the mind does not have life in itself although the illusion resides in making us believe that “life is mental.”
For most, life is information, analysis, judgments, choices, moral values, traditions, etc.
To feel is to live. When those feelings are “pure,” that is clean, clear due to a clear mind; then those pure feelings become you own “morality” in life, at that point there is no need for “mental” commandments and codes to follow.
Finally you have connected with the Totality of life, the source or even for some, with the Almighty, with God. No more words to “prove” something. You are the proof.
Please see that nothing here is intellectual. Nothing here is a mental paradigm to follow or a “fool-proof” prescription for everyone.
In the path of the spiritual walker; You find yourself just so you forget yourself. Isn’t that one of the most exciting paradoxes ever devised? 🙂
That is the witness. The detached observer. The “equal to the Father.” The “ego-less,” the “soul conscious,” the …. Come on make up a label to call it!
Of course, experience matters! This is not something that I could “get” by “making effort”… or by “trying hard,” or by “praying to God,” or by … Come on, make up a label!
This just happens as our awareness, our consciousness increases according to time. As we become aware of all that heavy junk residing in our minds… then we could liberate ourselves from being a slave of our own fears.
Because “you” and “me” come from the same source, the same components which make the clock of life to tick, tock… we cannot pinpoint a single component of that clock which is responsible for the “tick tock” but is the togetherness, the Totality of all components making it happen… To feel “I am the one” is meaningless when Oneness is the “One” making things to tick tock… and so the tick tock shall continue despite my beliefs, ideas, taboos and dogmas… Isn’t that fantastic? 🙂
The experience of being a “detached observer,” is one of those things which come together with the experience of the “true” self. To maintain that state of being, that consciousness is the trademark of true spirituality from my perspective.
Witnessing is a key word in Spiritual talk. Witnessing or being a “detached observer, “ or a “trustee” means in essence to observe life as if it was a movie show where “I” am a participant and part of the audience at the same time.
This paradox could also be referred as the “I” not being there; that is dissolved; then there is Oneness.
For those trapped in words and concepts, that state of being could be labeled as “bad” by those believers in individuality, when in fact; it represents harmony with everything in the Drama of life, the movie of life.
The paradox being that individuality leads into Oneness. The foliage and expansion of the branches of a tree, will eventually lead into the seed.
When there is the consciousness of “I” there is separation. When there is the consciousness of the “real” “I” there is no conceptualization of individuality.
The paradox is that to feel the “real” “I” means to be in oneness with all.
That is witnessing. That is being a detached observer.
Otherwise, it becomes the mind making sure that there is “I” being separated form everything else and “I” “making effort” to be in harmonious relationship with the movie of life.
When we are trapped in concepts, we will merely act a pretentious detached observer role. That is, “I” will think that “I have to practice being a detached observer for 3 hours every day.”
That practice is the practice of a mind driven concept, which is not near as close as what the actual sensation of that state of witnessing is.
In short, to be a detached observer means to experience the self as being “separated” from the roles in life but at the same time; having the experience of that role. Both, separation and unity; not just one aspect. This is embracing duality.
Let us say that someone has a stomach ache. That person wants to become a detached observer from that pain. When that person is practicing this, that person will repeat to himself: “I am not the pain, I am not the body, I am separated from the body, etc.”
Those words become the struggle of being free from that pain in the stomach. We could almost say that we are rejecting that pain.
Acceptance is the first step to go over anything in life.
Without the experience of the self, there will not be an automatic acceptance and therefore, a calm way to deal with things in a “detached manner.”
Take your medicine, treat the pain; but rather than being the “star” of the show; become the one sitting in the first row of the movie theater.
I could “choose” to be the spectator of the movie of life or I could become the protagonist.
To know that balance without thinking about it, is to exercise our “free will,” without knowing about those conceptual words.
Being is living. What we truly are has been there for eternity. Some may know “that,” with a label: A soul, a spirit, purusha; etc.
The experience of that which we are is all that matters, for that is all that we could ever know. The rest are perceptions.
Feelings are the expression of that being.
When activities are performed in that awareness of that “inner being,” then our activities are “in-tune” with the “outer” spirit of life.
Some call that “Drama,” others call it “Tao,” others call it “Life.”
Therefore, there is a universal consciousness, which brings unity to everything there is, everything that happens. Nothing exists in isolation.
When the perception of that unity is lost, then the “mirage,” the “illusion” of separation exists. When we separate, we build individuality. When that individuality overtakes our personality; it becomes known as ego.
Suffering then is a consequence of that separation from the totality of life.
Ego manifests its power through thoughts and emotions.
Thoughts usually become our perception of being separated which will manifest into actions and further thoughts. This repetitive cycle is what is known as “sanskara” or predisposition. An ego performing actions, will be actions with ego.
When a thought colors the original feelings of the “inner being,” they become emotions. Those emotions express themselves through the body: a disease, a sensation, a pain in the heart, upset stomach; etc. Those disturbances we name as : fear, love, hate, etc. When we express emotions, the body will experience the consequence of it.
Emotions are dualistic. A high elation is followed by a low depression. Their intensity is the same but in opposite directions.
The seed then is a thought. That thought is one of separation between “you and me.” That is the importance of recognizing thoughts.
Therefore, the “cure” for this “disease” of separation, is to go back to the original nature of Oneness. That means that our consciousness needs to be in the awareness of what is “true.”
This has been called “witnessing,” detached observer, trustee, presence, careful awareness, etc. Different names for the same thing.
When that “witnessing” comes with feelings originating in the self; it has been known as “yoga.”
Therefore, the cure of separation and suffering is to remember that oneness. That means to experience it constantly.
This sense of oneness, has been named as experiencing God for some, or to be in bliss for others; note that the experience of being with someone like God or by itself, are both accurate as long as there is the sense of unity, communion. That makes the experience of spirituality complete. The descriptive words are not as important as the experience itself. The proof of that spiritual experience is in our activities. We do what we are.
Let us say that John is a challenging employee. John does not care about his supervisor’s role. He will challenge his supervisor continuously. Roy supervises John and Anne supervises Roy. That is the “chain of command.”
Before Roy was hired, Anne supervised John. Anne believes that John is necessary in the organization, even though John continually gets in trouble with other employees due to his “know it all” attitude.
John is very knowledgeable in what he does and despises “slow people.” John has a big ego.
John manipulated his work schedule as he wished. He wanted Roy, his supervisor; to sign for it. Roy refused on the grounds that John never asked for permission to change his regular schedule.
John was upset. He mentioned that he has been always a tireless employee in the organization, willing to go the “extra mile.”
John complained to Anne about this.
Anne was a caring woman, who believed in John at all costs. John has saved “her skin” in many occasions due to his know-how.
Anne met with Roy about this incident. At the end it was Anne, the one making the final decision.
In the rational world; John didn’t have any valid ground on his posture. However, in the “real world,” we have Anne’s emotions which are coloring her decision. Anne does nto want to cause issues on her “star employee,” but at the same time; she wants for Roy to feel good.
Roy had some “choices.”
1) He could try to enforce his position (ego) over John. By asking Anne to fully comply with his refusal to sign his time sheet. By doing so, Anne’s emotions will appear and defend his “star employee.”
2) Roy could just explain his position and become part of the “movie;” that is accepting whatever Anne decides to do. Many could take this as lack of “ aggressiveness” from Roy; but in the “movie of life,” we know that it all depends on how important this episode is for Roy. That “importance”becomes an expectation. That is a desire to enforce his supervisory position over John.
Many times life will offer us the same episode. As long as there is separation between “me” and “you” at any thought level; we will have a desire. If that desire is fulfilled or not; it will lead into further desires to strengthen the separation. That is how ego strengthens itself.
Roy could be totally “unshakable” if he just becomes a witness; that is a detached observer with “unlimited disinterest” on the outcome. Anne’s decision will not affect him as long as Roy’s ego is not around. Roy still will obtain a paycheck and the law of karma will do the needful. In which way?
If Anne decides to agree with John; then John will simply “bypass” Roy at all times.
John will keep pushing his way until Anne will not be able to take it anymore. Roy just needs to “get out” from being in between.
As long as Roy lets everything unfold, without having his ego included in this; things will flow according to the spiritual laws. This is known as being “empty,” a “trustee.”
However, that “emptiness,” can only be “true,” if it comes from the experience of the self. That is continuous remembrance of our eternal quality. That remembrance is experiential. Without this experience, it will be just “acting.” When we “act” we are not “original,” and the consequence of that is an emotion building up in the self. We can stop emotions from being shown at a particular time; but that emotion will be waiting there to “explode” at a later time. That is known as a “sanskara” emerging; but note that the origin was a repressed emotion.
We cannot stop the flow of energy but just redirect it. Transform it. What we produce, will come back to us.
Thank you for your question!
When we “verbalize” our realizations, we are using thought. That verbalization is dual: That is “acceptance” or “rejection.” Even though through words, “I” will use the word “acceptance,” it is not like that when there is “no one to accept.” It is just a “let it be as it is.”
This is a process. We do not “arrive” at being a “detached observer,” but we gain that awareness, which could increase as we are in that consciousness.
Please see the problem with explaining an experience through language, through words.
However, here it is a brief explanation:
We realize that we think. We realize that those thoughts are fabricating suffering in us. We cannot get rid of those thoughts for otherwise, we will be rejecting them and as such giving them more force. Acceptance means to observe, to watch without judgment. Once you become aware of that moment, thoughts will go away.
That practice anyone could do it. It is mechanical as long as we are “awake.” However, what gives “life” to it, is the experience of the self, the being which is behind that curtain of thoughts and which we know exists thanks to this knowledge.
For me it is the experience of bliss. For someone else, it is the experience of peace. As the mind is clear and the experience of bliss or peace appears, changes happen internally. Our consciousness starts moving so, we could see the “movie,” not as an intellectual idea, but actually ‘living it.’ Then, we are in the route of that “detachment.”
As you mentioned, there is an “inner agreement” of what is going on outside and inside. It is in that “agreement” with what is going on that we could feel the self, the being, the soul (This is what BapDada calls having “pure feelings and good wishes,” it is not just a thought but an attitude which emanates from that experience of bliss and peace) and from that, there could be transformation of what is happening. That transformation of the events happen automatically because the being, the self is in “tune” with the Drama. Ego is not. That is how some may say that “we accept and transform.” However, if we “do” something without that happening “naturally” it is ego indeed acting.
Through all these writings all that we can have is just an “idea” of what could be a “detached observer.” There is no formula, but we have knowledge to “figure out” things. However, it is your own practice, your own “checking,” observing without judgment, witnessing… what will bring the changes and the experience. No more words needed.