Male sexuality and spirituality
Sexuality has been separated from spirituality and religious beliefs. The dichotomy is viewed many times as opposites rather than complementary.
The phrases: “pleasure of the flesh” or “temptations of the flesh” convey a lesser evolved way than the spiritual one, which is believed to be asexual, “pure.”
In spirituality it is well known that “we” are energy (subtle energy, that is) as many have the awareness of different subtle bodies besides the physical one. The word “I” then, has another meaning.
Sexuality is perceived many times to be about the union of sexual organs with an objective: To procreate or to experience pleasure. That is the extent of mainstream human sexuality.
However, arousal which is the ignition key in sexuality; is all subtle energy. It is completely unconscious when it happens until we gain some awareness when it has happened. That is the beginning of that subtle energy manifesting in some sort of conscious way. After that for most men, it may feel as if opening the sink water at full force. It is a matter of a couple minutes before it fills the sink with pleasurable sensation and then, it overflows… That is the extent of sexuality for many.
That is subtle vital energy overflowing. That lack of “control” is what most men are looking to “improve” through many techniques and “high tech products” or participation in some retreat.
Sexuality is an extension of our spiritual nature. Procreation is energy creating energy. While having pleasure, is energy re-energizing itself. Although, for most men at this time, re-energizing is not fully experienced, while on the other hand; depletion is well known.
Because as humans we are living with violence, repressions and fear, we have damaged the subtle conduits of energy which will not allow us to “control” the force running through the “sink water.” Most men are trying to control through will power, or using best-seller techniques and so on; but the damage in the “pipes” cannot be fixed through those techniques. Yes, we could be careful, we could use many tricks; but that is all artificial, for that “control” or regulation happens automatically when the subtle “pipes” are working fine; therefore, there is no need for the mind to be involved at all. Thus, you are free to experience the experience, for the mind only deteriorates and interrupts the feeling of experiencing.
“Fixing” our violent ways, repressions and fears, will in turn fix the damaged conduits. That will change the perception and experience of male sexuality 360 degrees.
Why is pornography so popular in most men’s experience? Because it displays that which we repress. The armor of taboos and preconceptions are there to be challenged with what we unconsciously would like to experience but we cannot through heavy conditioning. Also, for most the mind is the most important “sexual organ” and when the sexual experience is not fulfilling, then the mind craves for more mental stimulus. Pornography as it is today; shows the association of violence with sexuality. It sends the message that violence is “good sex.” It sends the message that human sexuality is reduced only to the interplay of physical sexual organs. It sends the message that man has the “duty” to “make” the female enjoy sex while he is convulsively moving his hips back and forward in a tiring and violent way; while holding on for dear life. It appears to be almost a sweet torture. Pornography sends the message that sex ends with male ejaculation, and that that is necessary for men and women to feel satisfaction. Pornography lacks the depth of portraying human sensuality at its best, and because of that it lacks emotional intimacy, which is another level in the experience of human sexuality.
No wonder human sexuality has been taken apart from spirituality.
Definitely, there are other ways to experience human sexuality and one of those, is intimately related with spirituality. There are temples in India portraying that, even though; many will not understand why and rather use rejecting labels such as “impure,” or “filthy.”
Once we go through the road of fixing the “sink water,” we will know that there are no shortcuts. It is a road of self understanding and self-observation, where the mind and its conditioned tricks are caught one by one. It is a road of healing by harmonizing our dualistic nature of male-female. It is a road of patience as it takes time and… of course, practice.
Sexuality at that point could not possibly be viewed as “sinful” or “dirty.” Instead, it becomes one of the most beautiful experiences that man could have, which will allow us to grow in harmony, stability and love.
As we ARE so is the expression of our sexuality. Sexuality and Spirituality have always been one.