What is true cannot be chosen

“When we believe that our reactions to situations are dependent on the situation, then we shift to an automatic way of reacting, rather than choosing our reactions.

Situations outside are uncertain. If we make our state of mind dependent on them, then our reactions also become uncertain.”

The above was sent to me via email. I am copying that here because the above will help illustrate something which is very difficult to explain: “ A different state of consciousness.”

Teachers, Gurus and even “Gods” (in different religions) are not teaching the “truth,” but only teaching a method to gain awareness while in a particular type of consciousness (followers.) Teachings are geared towards students residing in certain consciousness.

The above quote is the popular teaching on “having control on how we react” and “choosing our reactions.” Seems like a wonderful teaching to follow. Right?

When a person starts their journey into inner search, that person does not have awareness. Their minds’ inner chattering is continuously clouding that awareness. Their reactions are learned mechanisms. They may blame others when they react in a certain way.

For example, Mary screamed at Sam. Sam slapped Mary in return. Sam blamed Mary of his reaction. She made him violent, he said. For Sam, Mary had a violent interaction (screaming.) For Mary, screaming at someone is not violent. She has learned that. It is “normal” for her. If you are upset with someone, you scream at him to show that. That is the way soap opera actresses (super stars) behave… and even Mary’s mom, aunt and older sister behave the same way.

Thus, a teaching telling Mary: “ Don’t get angry. To scream is bad. You will go to hell if you scream at someone. God will be upset with you,” etc. That teaching is trying to change Mary’s behavior. “Here is how you react: Be silent. Don’t do anything. Feel compassion for them.”

Sounds good?
Yes! What a wonderful teaching! It makes sense. It is “logical.” 🙂
A few days later, Mary is upset with Sam. Mary remembered this teaching and “chose” to be silent.
Wonderful! Mary feels happy about her “improvement.”

Mary does not realize yet that she has learned to repress her anger.

A few days later, there comes Sam again to “make” Mary upset.
Mary was too angry to remember any “good” teachings this time… She failed “her test.” She screamed at Sam and in the process received another slap in the face.
She took her “punishment” without complaint, for she had failed and she felt guilty. She needs forgiveness now in order to be “good” again…

If Mary becomes aware, she will notice her repression of anger.
That is a step forward, because before the teaching she did not have any awareness whatsoever.

She also realized that “to stop and choose how to react,” many times is impossible to DO. That is why she “failed her tests” in many occasions.

Awareness is working wonders now!

Mary may decide to ignore her findings and decide to “try harder” next time… OR she may decide not to repress her anger because she heard a teaching by a super Guru which said “to repress is bad.”

Mary’s mind will go to extremes. She needs to experience that “trip” to move into another consciousness. Becoming aware of that repression is a necessary step. Mary cannot study “how not to repress.” She needs to live it to know.
When she does that, the previous teachings will not apply to her anymore.

The issue in a new consciousness is not what you DO or how you react, the issue is if you are AWARE of yourself while it is happening. To be AWARE is not a mind thing such as “think before you act.” AWARENESS is beyond the mind.

If Mary is AWARE of becoming angry while interacting with Sam, that AWARENESS will not go into anger mode unless she wants to. If Mary is not anger, there is no way Sam could bring anger from her. That is why BEING is before DOING and DOING several times something does not change BEING. Consciousness is not changed by repetition (DOING) but it changes as a natural process of LIVING. When we are AWARE of that process; we become conscious, awaken.

Let me give another example: It is as if 3 year old Carol, had the need to pee and she couldn’t control it because she is not aware yet. The “moral” teaching for her is: “Peeing your pants is “bad.” You will be punished. Avoid peeing.” Thus, “choose” not to pee. “Think” before you pee…  🙂  It is all about the mind.

When Carol learns to be AWARE of the sensation, peeing her pants is no longer an issue. It is not a matter of “choice” but of AWARENESS. When Mary learns to go to the bathroom as she has been trained, she will understand that the moral ultimatum of “Peeing your pants is bad” is not true… but it was useful at one time, for she is in a different consciousness now.

The second paragraph of the quoted paragraph, will be dealt with next time…


  1. Dinesh C

    Hey bro,
    Till now your articles used to be quite filled with serious tone, but this time u added some humor by slapping Mary few times and
    peeing in the pants example… bring some more humor in the articles associated with “LOVE”… 🙂


    • ahnanda

      Do you call that humor? Your humor and my humor are different.
      What is true cannot be chosen. So, I will Let Ahnanda be true to himself and not directed by someone’s wishes… 🙂


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