What could be the word to sum up all the experiences currently going on in our planet, the Earth?
Love? Peace? Happiness? Hope? Understanding? Animosity? How about violence.
At this stage in my own evolution, I am observing all of that violence within. Perhaps, that is the “reason” why I pick the word violence among all the other labels. Through the experience of violence, I have been the tyrant and the submissive peon. Once one side is experienced the other side will follow, for that reason; submissiveness is passive violence.
Violence has been with us from time immemorial. A culture conquered another through violence. Then, there was violence within that conquered culture. A gender subdued another through violence. A race proclaimed its superiority through violence. In society, we clash with one another and use violence to “win.”
Violence is not just physical, but that is the most obvious and grotesque. We could insult one another, we could look at someone in a despicable way. We could say things with irony, sharpness, dryness and sarcasm. We could speak with a tone of voice meant to overpower another. To take advantage of another, is violence.
Then, we could go into the “subtler” aspects of it, the ones which not too many could observe: I could compare a person with another. That is violence for I am not respecting their unique individuality. I could teach someone that respect means to infuse fear to others, that is violence. I could “correct” someone by putting down their ideas, by letting them know that “I am right, you are wrong;” that is violence as well. The key to understand violence is in being aware of the sensation, the internal emotion, the feeling which it brings. Many times it could be perceived as a “current” over the head area. That will change our facial expression. Definitely, the first sensation will be “closing up” or clenching up. Most will feel their stomach areas tighten up. If we are able to observe this emotion, open up; let the perceived violence go through you and outside you. Thus, it is not necessarily an action the one which defines violence, but rather the engine of it; is the sensation we have inside.
There are countless ways to express violence, even while “making love” (which by the way, is the most common.) Violence is everywhere and “I” am part of it. Do we see the enormous significance of this?
How can I love and feel peace with violence within? The conditioning of using violence is overwhelming. Isn’t the “alpha male” the archetype of violence? However, we could observe that the media almost worships that “winner” image.
No wonder we are violent. That trait could be desirable for those in society who are looking to get ahead, to dominate others and show them who “they are;” it is desirable for those who only care to “look out for number 1,” nevertheless; that sort of enhanced ego, cannot harmonize with the common good. There are consequences for behaving in such selfish way.
I recall: “ A violent man does not die a natural death” Tao Te Ching – Ch 42 or in a Christian way : “… and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” Matthew 7.
Despite all the religious and “spiritual” teachings, violence endures. It toughen our hearts, it creates psychological pain which in turn will be a traumatic experience lingering in our beings for as long as it needs, until one day we realize it is there, ready to heal into its opposite, that is Gentleness.
Authentic gentleness is not the “practice” of a violent person. Gentleness is the outcome of lack of violence.
It is a wonder how religions and spirituality have named the capital sins, the main vices, etc. as important to eradicate; however, we are not looking good enough at the obvious violence.
We want to deal with our ego, to become “better,” but we have a hard time recognizing what that ego is.
It is way easier to start with violence as we can smell it. However, we may need to be aware that if “I” try to stop it; “I” will inflict violence on myself. It is not by rejection or suppression how violence will subside. It is by being aware of it, through watching it in ourselves and fully realizing what it is and what it does to us.
“Non-violence” is non existing in a violent being, thus; we can only “practice” it, which is truly the rehearsal of a script.
To meet violence only with some defined “non-violence,” is to take the process of understanding violence in ourselves, in a trivial way. We could DO actions which seem non-violent, but when we ARE violence we cannot get away from the fact of who we ARE and thus, we only cover the reality of ourselves with the veil of “good deeds,” until we have the fortitude to look inside.
The “reality” of the “normal” person is surrounded by a man made “reality” of formulas, formalisms and philosophy known as economics. The poor and the rich are man made. That is not something coming from Nature or Life. That “reality” is what most humans are conscious of. A man made illusion which has become “real.”
Similarly, at this time in Spirituality; there is the “reality” of the “ethereal body” for some individuals. This is related with the touted “Ascencion to the 5th Dimension.” where it is said that “everyone in the planet will go through that.” That “5th dimension” is not a place. It is a state of consciousness where the bagagge of emotionality will be dropped by some individuals (those who are ready) with the outcome of a non-violent being who is ready to explore the meaning of love. Thus, the development and awareness of this vehicle (ethereal body) has importance according to this time.
Below is the conversation between Mathias ( A being of light manifesting as a tree of Nature) and Ahnanda about some ontologycal questions surrounding BEING. I am reproducing it, for it shows the interconnection of BEING with the Totality. The question of “who I am?” is answered in an orignal way. Note that many religions or philosophies may use other labels.
Ahnanda: Now that you mention about the importance of developing the ethereal body at this time, I read many articles with contradicting information about the ethereal body. Could you tell me what the ethereal body is?
Mathias: It is “you” but bigger. It is a world of giants. En each part of those worlds, there is “you” as well, but you are under the illusion that you are only here. The ethereal body is the body limit which unites these dimensions with another sublime reality where density is not nor duality. It maintains a connection and interaction. It is like the roots, stem, leaves and the flower. The ethereal body is the leaves before the flower.
Ahnanda: What is the flower in this analogy?
Mathias: The essence, my friend.
Ahnanda: The essence? That is what is known as “soul.”
Mathias: That is what is known as “spirit,” that is “you” not “I.”
Ahnanda: Isn’t the soul the essence, as I have been taught by religions?
Mathias: If you wish, we can call that soul.
Ahnanda: But, you call it spirit…
Ahnanda: And that flower is the one having experiences of many lives?
Mathias: The stem has the experience of many lives, my friend. What would you call the stem? The stem has two parts. The first one is the emotional body and the second part is the physical body made to enter duality. Then you have the roots.
Ahnanda: But that stem unites everything.
Mathias: Of course, my friend.
Ahnanda: And… where is consciousness then? I mean, the plant who is conscious of the stem, the roots and the flower.
Mathias: In the water, my friend.
Ahnanda: Water is the Universe?
Mathias: Everything. Water here is everything. It is called Totality.
Ahnanda: But there is a difference between the plant and the Totality, right?
Mathias: Correct. Do you want to know a label for that?
Mathias: It is called nothingness.
After the talk with Mathias, I was wondering what would be the “root” in this analogy of the plant.
When I recalled that he used the word “root” to refer to my ancestors, my “roots.” My past, my genes which make up my personality. That is the connection with the past, which is part of the stem.
Thanks to this talk, I understood how spiritual schools, religions and philosophies emphasize only one label, one thing as the most important aspect of the human being when responding to the question “who am I?”: Soul, spirit, genes, physical body, consciousness, etc. without seeing the connection.
The plant is not only the flower or the roots. The plant requires water to survive.
Every human being is living their own “reality” of “who am I?”and thereby, the answers that he will validate as “the truth” are the ones fitting that “reality.” Very convenient indeed.
Who am “I”? 🙂
Laughing at that question, is my “rational” answer.
When we perceive danger or a situation which brings a feeling of uneasiness, we could stay and fight. We need to “win,” we need to conquer the “enemy,” etc. On the other hand, if that situation is perceived as unsurmountable, then we need to “save face,” that is “flight.”
Our conditioning is heavily influenced by dualities: win-lose, fight-flight. This is the first aspect to observe, when making sense of our behavior. Why is that important? Because we are caught in a box of 2 possibilities, when there are many.
One of the heaviest conditioning there is in our society, is related with this duality of perceiving Life as the inner working of a computer: On-OFF, 0-1. In general, we see Life from this binary format. Duality. No wonder “our creation,” the classical computer works in the same way. We may need to switch our awareness to something like a “Quantum Computer,” where there could be more than just one choice, many possibilities.
Spirituality sees that ACCEPTANCE of “what is,” is indeed another way to meet Life.
This is not surrendering or an offshoot of “flying,” by slowly walking off like a dog who has been nagged by his owner. Acceptance is to be flexible in the moment to meet Life as it appears.
For example, every Tuesday I may eat spaghetti religiously. One Tuesday I ran out of it and couldn’t purchase it. Yes, I could eat something else instead, but that is not the type of acceptance that I am talking about.
Acceptance is to look with some sort of excitement at the opportunity for something different, that is the arrival of newness. Acceptance is an attitude of gratefulness for the new experience.
The above is something difficult to see when we are only caught up in our own stories, our own images that we want to protect.
For instance, Life sends a pandemia. The story is not just about human beings. Nature has the rare opportunity to rebuild itself. Caught up in our own stories in self-absorption, we cannot see the whole picture. So what Nature has to do with “me”? Nature is where WE live, what we breathe, Life itself.
The human story commonly shared is about lost jobs, lost lives, lost income, lost markets, lost GDP, and so forth. We do not see the unity of all. We do not perceive when we divide ourselves from everything else, that we create a duality between “us” and “them;” therefore, the survival of “them” depends on the extermination of “us.” We cannot see a sane balance of “us” and “them,” for our minds haven’t been conditioned to harmonize but to ‘win,’ to ‘conquer,’ to follow the “survival of the fittest” idea when paradoxically, the weakest of us are being killed through a virus (There is an element of human responsibility in every pandemia) and we want to protect them. Let us not go into the “morality” of that perspective. Let us see the facts. Animals, plants, the environment are the “weakest links, “younger brothers” compared to humans but the same moral direction to protect is not there, but to exploit.
Acceptance. That is the opportunity to end the stories of despair and anguish and look forward to newness, the opportunities.
There are different levels or interpretations of acceptance, but a deep acceptance will bring as a result what is known as a “detached observer.”
What Life “throws at us” is for our own inner development; thus, we may need to sharpen our ability to Observe, so we could assimilate Life experiences with acceptance rather than bitterness and opposition.
“We” cannot ‘win’ over Life. We are Life itself.
In society, we define attachment as “a feeling that binds one to a person, thing, cause, ideal, or the like; devotion; regard.” In psychology it is defined as “a deep and enduring emotional bond that connects one person to another across time and space.” Those definitions sound positive and desirable.
In spirituality, attachment has a different view. That “binding emotional feeling” could potentially be a trauma, when the receiver of such affection is no longer there or there is the danger that it may not be there anymore. Great emotional suffering is experienced by the unaware individual which could even affect his mental health.
There is nothing wrong with bonding with individuals or to have devotion to certain ideals or things as long as we remain stable, centered. Most will lose their stability when their object of attachment is not there anymore.
Spirituality observes the potential trauma of that experience and that is what this article will explore.
Life IS change. We know that intellectually. Practically, we may not.
What is attachment? In general, when an emotional need arises. This need has the power to be a trauma in our lives.
What is a trauma? When our beliefs, ideas and ideals are in conflict with what IS. That conflict is an internal rejection which is emotionally stored mostly in our subconscious, and giving us a view of Life with a biased perspective. In this way, the past, what happened IS still part of our present even though the past is gone.
We have attachments to ideas, beliefs, ideals. We have attachment to situations, circumstances. When someone close to us goes away, our circumstance will change. When we say that we are attached to someone, we are attached to the feeling of need being temporarily fulfilled by someone.
To be able to feel attachment in variable degrees of neediness, will allow us to feel it, which is very important to practically “know” attachment.
There is attachment to what we consider “self” and the sensations that this will bring. For instance, if I am an avid swimmer and I cannot swim for whatever reason, then the sensations of not being able to swim will be bothersome. If this need becomes emotional, then we may say that we are attached to swimming; but in reality, we are attached to the sensation that it brings. It is not the exercise itself bringing “addiction” but the sensation it leaves, which is very subjective.
Attachments will not allow us to become a witness of Life. Without witnessing Life, we cannot experience freedom.
How to deal with attachment?
In our society, attachments are expected and supported. They are “normal.” We may need to forget stereotypes or conditioned moral teachings to look and find attachments in our own lives. That is what takes more involvement from a seeker.
Very few will do that and recognize attachments as potential traumas.
Therefore, for the few who may be ready, here goes my “recipe:”
First and foremost, to OBSERVE that (whatever it is we find as attachment) in ourselves. To be able to see it there, without any masks or pretty words to hide it, without any judgment. Many times we may realize those after the fact, when we recall the experience after some time.
Second, to OBSERVE it in action. Life will bring a particular episode and we will react to it. Catch it there. It is important to FEEL it. Just to use words to make sense of it; will not allow us to truly see. Remember that the important item is how we FEEL in front of some Life episode. It is that feeling alone the one that brings the sensation of need, of being unable to be without. That is attachment.
Third and last, a deep feeling of the following fact of Life:
Life is change. Life is unpredictable. Life is temporary. Life is unexpected. Thus, it is impossible to possess something. Everything goes away. Do we see this as a fact?
Then it follows that everything; every experience, every person who crosses our path, every possession is borrowed from Life. The reality of impermanence is there, despite any social laws or rights which may bring us a sense of security.
Note that I am not inferring that a spiritual person must not possess things to avoid suffering. That is an infantile understanding which interestingly, many religious faiths will follow.
I am saying that while having things, experiences, circumstances, beliefs, ideas, etc. know that we are “borrowing” them. Life is leasing us something for a temporary time. That could be a wonderful wife/husband, a great job, our excellent health, etc. It is all “leased” to us for a temporary period. Those things are meant to eventually go away. We should keep that in mind, for it is a fact of Life. This is not meant to bring worry or despair. A tourist travels around. He is not meant to stay in a particular place. The same is with us. The joy of being a tourist is the freedom to travel, to know and try new things and that means to stay in continuous movement, in change. Just like Life. The important thing is to keep the stable center within.
With the understanding of the above, then we will pay attention to the intention of using the word “Mine.” In society we may need to use that word to deal with people, but know deep inside that we meant “leased,” “borrowed.” This sense of FEELING how everything is borrowed, will open the door to the witness. The one who doesn’t need to choose in Life, for everything whether coming or going; is meant to be appreciated as it IS. A witness is the ultimate way to appreciate Life.
Go left or go right. We will get to the same place eventually. Life is not a race. There is no prize or destination. It is a journey.
Therefore, appreciate the trip.
When attachment decreases, for sure our emotional stability increases.
Will resume writing on April 30th. Enjoy! 🙂
Witness of Life. When we have the time to sit down and observe how Life moves, we may discover that it is completely unpredictable. It is in that realization, how we could come to terms with those past experiences which we made a trauma of, still lingering our subconscious. We cannot “prepare” for something unpredictable, but we can learn to accept what comes our way.
Like many, I have experienced very low times in my life. But those times went away, like everything else does in an unpredictable fashion. I am still here. I cannot predict how long it will be, thus; it makes sense to enjoy what “IS” for it will change.
Waves in the Ocean of “problems” come in different shapes and sizes. It is obvious. Expected. Making a trauma about a fact of Life will take away our ability to enjoy it and rather fear, will be in its place.
What to do? Learn to surf thoses waves. Learn to dive and come out alright on the other side. Most live in despair when they see one wave coming their way. What is required is a change in attitude. It is not enough to learn to survive, when enjoyment is the spice of Life.
Many times losing now, is winning in the long run. Death is not the end but the beginning. We are tourists in Life. We could try to control the route of the “bus of Life” which is taking us to different places, but then we will never relax and be open to experience different scenery. Destiny is the driver. The “bus” may have a flat tire or an engine failure and we could be stranded. That is part of the adventure. No matter how hard we try to control, we cannot. Everyone has to taste ups and downs.
Life experiences are valuable for we can understand anyone going through the same ones. That is how empathy appears, then compassion.
Compassion doesn’t appear because we “must put ourselves in someone’s shoes.” That is only an intellectual exercise. Compassion appears when we have experienced the experience with a particular feeling (we know what it is,) and become a witness of that. In other words, there is no emotionality, a trauma inside.
A fully digested experience, will definetely help a person to become “better” in Life, that is open to Life by trusting their destiny.
Ups and downs are a fact of Life. Then; we could understand that pain and pleasure are two sides of the same coin, and to attach ourselves to one side, will only bring the other side closer… and it will not be welcomed when it arrives. It will be a traumatic experience.
Many “spirtual” people have decided not to experience pleasure, so they don’t experience pain. That “theory” only works on paper. That is to rob ourselves from experiencing Life. That sort of repression brings its own traumas. At the end, it is not by avoiding how we “solve” Life “problems,” but by assimilating the complete experience.
We are in the world of duality. We have signed up to go through this tour and experience it.
We could have our own beliefs which could bring us comfort and make us feel good in hard times; but as we grow up in consciousness, we could be able to see “what is” and learn to focus on that which is ‘good’ and unique of every situation, even though the rest may appear as ‘bad.’
What is “good” about the current state of events in the world, we may wonder? Nature has the unprecedented chance to rebuild itself. That is great news for our future.
Every Life experience is needed as it is. We are here not to “change the world” or to “make a difference.” Those are childish beliefs to pamper a self-centered ego. We are here to witness.
A witness or a detached observer, begins by “fixing” his own traumas in Life.
There is no way that we could enjoy watching a TV program when we have preconceived notions on how the program should be, when we want to judge every scene and qualify it as “good or bad.” We are only wasting our precious time.
When we leave the heavy burden of trying to control life, so it can fit our expectations, needs and wants; a witness is born.
That one is ready to fully enjoy the experience of Life, for Life is meant to be enjoyed.
The discovery of the reforming (the passage from mind to heart) and revitalizing effects of sexuality are in direct proportion to the development of consciousness, that is the manifestation of BEING without impediments to open up, to trust Life.
Bluntly put, in my experience without a “higher” consciousness (as a consequence of the assimilation of Life experiences without traumatic tones,) there could not be the experience of revitalizing, reforming and loving sex (Tantric Sexuality.) Therefore, Sexuality is intimately meshed with Spirituality to fully experience its benefits.
There is no class, no certification, no teaching that could transform someone into BEING the embodiment of Tantra. However, all those teachings are helpful for most to increase their awareness and information of something different about sexuality, which is not transmitted or taught by our deeply conditioned, violent and dormant society. There is benefit in everything.
The “road” to Tantric sexuality is not easy. It requires the space, the time to discover, to practice and to assimilate. Someone coming from the “busy world,” doesn’t have what it takes. Their minds will not leave them alone.
All ideas about “achievement” are a hindrance, a deep obstacle in learning to let go. There is no deep sexual enjoyment unless we let go.
A man has tremendous pressure: The pressure to last. The pressure to maintain. The pressure to be there “present.” All of those things are natural for a man who has liberated himself from past traumatic experiences and who feels at ease with his own body and the natural expressions of it. Those traumas take their own time to clear, for otherwise; it may be highly counterproductive. Our minds could be our deepest obstacle.
Observe how proponents of a “new sexuality” direct their “teachings.”
It goes something like this: “ A man needs to control his ejaculation. He needs to learn that ejaculation is not the same as orgasm. He can have orgasms but no ejaculation. Ejaculation depletes a man’s vitality.”
They offer methods, techniques, meditations, etc. to “achieve” that.
I say, that is a very violent teaching. “When we want to build a house, we need to put a strong foundation.” That is a well known cliché.
The foundation of sexuality is spirituality. That is to learn to live Life in enjoyment, in harmony. A person full with unhealed traumas, is not ready for that yet. The foundation is not there.
A man trying to restrain from ejaculating, is forcing himself into something which he is not ready. That “goal” is something which HAPPENS naturally. It is not something to get DONE through effort, through practice, through some method. This is the same “sin” that many religions perform: Get to the “ideal” to be saved, to be pure, special, etc. It doesn’t matter where you are in Life. Just fit the ideal. That “practice” will bring violent repression. What could be the “solution” in the meantime? To learn moderation. That takes inner knowledge.
As shared many times, sexuality only expresses who we ARE. Thus, by understanding our own self, there is an opportunity for natural change of BEING, which will be expressed naturally in sexuality.
We cannot force self change. We cannot make it “happen.” It happens. We can only change bahavior; the DOING part, but never change the true BEING. The inner world, our consciousness is not regimented or controlled by the way we understand Life. Our human conditioning is geared to use force, the use of will power to overcome, the use of moral values to give us self righteousness to act in what we perceive to be “right.” That is an ego centered way of understanding Life.
The misinterpretation of Tantric sexuality is evident. We want to “make sense of things,” and shape our understanding into some philosophy or view, which we are willing to apply to all. Life doesn’t move along those lines. “Just Do it,” doesn’t do it in self-realization.
Life is an untold discovery of ourselves. Sexuality expresses our journey as an artist expresses through a paint. From the outside, we judge and put a label to that paint according to our conditioning, likes or dislikes. However, the paint is only an expression of an artist, as long as the paint is not being done just to please others.
Many are inspired by gurus, saints and self proclaimed self-realized individuals, in their search for “enlightenment,” a “higher state,” etc. for they want to achieve that state for themselves.
Because these individuals think that to become “better” and achieve something as they have done in society, is “good.” Their role models fit that aspiration.
We may think that such goal is laudable, that it is something “good” to pursue and encourage the seeker to “obtain” that, to “achieve” it, so he can be a model too and tell us “how to get it” for ourselves later on.
Observe the desire to achieve. Observe the typical “modus operandi” in action: It is the same “method” that we have learned to DO and accomplish things in “Life.” We believe in “hard work” and steady effort to “achieve” this aspiration of “enlightenment” as well, by following the same.
Nevertheless, “spirituality” or the art of living Life in fulfillment; doesn’t follow the ways we have learned through centuries of conditioning.
Until we don’t realize that, we will be repeating the same pattern. A “higher state of BEING” is not like getting a job, or working hard through endless repetition of methods. As a matter of fact, our desires for such achievement, are of no consequence. It is not like what we have been taught.
Still, the machinery is at work in search for profit. Books, classes and other sources of information are sold to “help” the seeker to “achieve” his goals.
That is snake oil. However, it has a placebo effect according to the depth of belief.
Here is the premise to understand: The same ego, the same “I,” the same “mind” trying to achieve something “great” such as a higher state of BEING is the one required to melt away.
Thus, isn’t that desire to achieve something, coming from the same ego-mind which needs to wither away? “Oh Ok…then, I will achieve and then wither the ego away…” If it was like that, then everyone could be self-realized in “3 simple steps.”
A “higher state” is not achievable. For there will be no “I,” there to achieve. Further, a “higher state” only happens according to the need of time to those whose life experience calls for that. That “event” is beyond our DOING.
Let me be more explicit: The “I,” the “mind,” the “ego,” achieves through action, through DOING something. Observe how religions and spiritual paths have many rituals, commandments and practices thought to “better” a person.
However, DOING does not change BEING. DOING can only change behavior but never BEING.
No matter how many times we repeat some “practice,” BEING cannot change. BEING does not change due to the strong desire of the “ego-mind” to “succeed.” Spirituality is in the realm of BEING first, not DOING to cover BEING.
If the above is clearly understood, then we will face the “reality” that truly AWARENESS is the trademark of a conscious existence, which is not concerned in bringing change to itself, as change naturally happens; but rather OBSERVES, is AWARE of how it happens and naturally allows for it to happen at its own time. ALLOWING is key, when ego has been taught to control.
It is of paramount importance to understand what AWARENESS is, but the catch is that it cannot be explained or defined. There is the dictionary definition, but that is not the EXPERIENTIAL, complete, unmistakably meaning. As the experience of awareness happens and we become more conscious, then we will know.
In the meantime and until that happens, there are tons of “self-help” books, classes and information to help us “achieve” our spiritual goals; whether that is “heaven,” “self-realization,” or some other goal desired by the ego driven mind. It is good to get “busy.” 🙂
Yes, there is something for everyone.